


Intimacy Log

by Lady_Kit, Unladylike (Lady_Kit)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alien anatomy, Canon Autistic Character, Canon Disabled Character, Caretaking, Discomfort with sexual arousal, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Past Abuse, Past cult brainwashing, Past sexual shaming, Reclaiming sexuality after cult brainwashing, Recovery, Religious Guilt, Sexual exploration, Slow Build, Woman on Top, religious trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:54:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 64,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24322372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Kit/pseuds/Lady_Kit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Kit/pseuds/Unladylike
Summary: His shoulders dropped, and he shut his eyes. “Forgive me. It’s an autonomic reaction. Prime used various hormones to repress such things, but it seems they’ve worn off. When we have access to a lab, I can synthesize the same hormone cocktail to keep those instincts in check.”“Why would you want to keep them ‘in check’?”-Or: Hordak’s body is finally his own. Now he just needs to figure out what he wants to do with it. Thankfully, Entrapta is here to help.
Relationships: Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)
Comments: 1280
Kudos: 2802





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t quite PWP. There is no real plot, though. It’s more an exploration of a character experimenting with and retaking his sexuality after being freed from his crazed, puritanical cult. 
> 
> There’s going to be some angst and some uncertainty. (And I’m still not fully sure how to handle alien genitalia, to be frank.) Eventually, though, I’m hoping everyone can just enjoy some happy sex.

When they had a moment of privacy—which took far longer than he’d have thought it would—Entrapta insisted on examining him. He understood her feelings. When she’d last seen him without his armor, he’d been falling apart. Now, he’d been without it for nearly a year. Though he felt no pain, that didn’t necessarily mean there was no damage to his body. Big Bro—Horde Prime used a heady mix of hormones to keep his clones pliant and happy. Unquestioning. Such a neurochemical cocktail could undoubtedly mask his pain.

So Hordak undressed willingly. He discarded the pants first, kicking the garment away. The tabard he folded neatly. He’d happily burn it once he had a change of clothes handy, but he imagined that might be hard to come by for the moment. That left him nearly naked before her—only his genitals were covered, and those only by a thin cloth. It was a vulnerable position, and not one he would allow another, but he trusted Entrapta more than he trusted himself. He sat on the stool they’d commandeered and let her know he was ready. 

“Okay, let’s take a look at you,” she said, pulling out a recorder. He’d asked her not to use Emily for this. An audio recording was one thing—a video was entirely another. “Post-Prime, day one. I am examining Hordak to determine the physical effects of his time under Prime’s rule.” She lifted his arms—the left she lifted with her hair, but the right she lifted with her hand, making him jolt. “Oh—sorry.” She peeled off her gloves. “These aren’t really suitable for biological exams. They’re better suited to machine work. Is this better?” She pressed her hand to his forearm, keeping it elevated.

“Fine. It’s...fine.” He ignored the way the small hairs along his neck and arms lifted, ignored the way his crest threatened to rise despite the gel keeping it down. 

“Okay, then.” To the recorder, she said, “Subject has a space between his ulna and radius. The flesh is uninjured, but the muscles are withered. Is this natural for your species?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.” He paused. “My memories have been tampered with multiple times, though, and should be considered unreliable. I have seen others with this defect, but it is not universal, even among clones. It’s either a result of environmental factors or a defect in the replicated genome. It is unlikely to be a result of epigenetic factors, given the way clones are reared, but I cannot rule that out.”

She nodded. “I don’t see any notable changes here.” Her fingers slipped into the radial void and ran along the sensitive skin. His crest lifted all at once, as he inhaled sharply. Entrapta’s eyes sparkled. “Oooh! Hordak! Your hair! What is that? Is it a response to external stimulation or a threat response—?”

He swallowed, pushing the crest down with his free hand, despite Entrapta’s disappointed exclamation. “External stimulation. Please continue.”

“Okay, but we’re experimenting with that later!” 

He gave her a look. “I am certain it will happen again shortly.”

“So, when I touch you...?”

“Yes.”

She smiled. “Discovery number one!” she said into her recorder. “Subject’s hair reacts when the body is stimulated!” To herself, she added, “This is so fascinating!”

He couldn’t help but smile fondly, even as she started to study his upper arm. “Hmmm.... The bicep does show signs of atrophy in comparison to other clones, but in comparison to the subject’s past measurements, I see an improvement! Large sections of skin have lost pigmentation, but I see no major changes since my prior study.” Her hand wrapped around his bicep. “Please flex your arm.”

He tensed the muscle, and her fingers massaged the muscle.. “Is there any pain?” His throat felt dry. He swallowed.

“No.” He shifted in his seat. “You said there’s an improvement?”

“It’s a notable change but not a dramatic one. I’m wondering if some of the muscle atrophy you’ve experienced on Etheria is a result of a nutritional deficit or perhaps a mild form of chronic poisoning.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle, and she glanced at him. “It seems appropriate that your planet would try to poison me.”

“We don’t know for sure! When we have access to a lab, we should run a few tests. And now we even have other subjects to serve as a base of comparison!”

“Hmph. If it is nutritional or an environmental toxin, we’ll need to know to keep them from experiencing the same thing.” 

She nodded, moving from his arm to his torso. Her hair lowered his arms and another strand lifted his chin so she could study his neck. Both her hands cupped his jaw, thumbstracing along the underside. His abdominal muscles contracted, and he swallowed hard. “No signs of discoloration on the neck. Pulse is elevated. Does this hurt?”

“No. I am feeling no pain.” It was difficult to force out the words. 

“Okay.” She trailed her hands down from his neck to his chest. “Oh! Your hair is lifting again!”

“It’s fine. As I said, it’s a response to tactile stimulation. Do you have a verdict?”

“Well...I’m not a medical doctor, and it would be better to consult an actual doctor—“ He gave her a look, his opinion of that very clear. “—but given that your disease hasn’t progressed while you were on the ship, I believe that being on Etheria has exacerbated it at least.” She smiled at him. “If there’s an environmental factor at play, we should at least be able to improve your quality of life. You’re really not feeling any pain?”

Her hands were pressed to his abdomen, her body between his splayed knees. She was smiling at him, and her eyes were sparkling. Pain was the last thing on his mind. “Not at the moment.” His voice was thick.

A strand of her hair smoothed back his crest, and he shuddered. “Oh! Is your scalp sensitive?”

“Not. Typically.” Her hair pulled gently at his hair and traced over his scalp, causing him to shudder. “Entrapta—“

“This is fascinating! Has it done this before? What does it feel like?” Her fingers touched the tip of his widow’s peak before she curled her fingers and ran them through his hair. The muscles in his back bunched, and he leaned into the touch rather than pulling away as he should have. Pleasure pricked along his scalp, and his crest lifted further, increasing his sensitivity. Warmth pooled in the pit of his stomach, and he tried to cross his legs, but Entrapta’s body was in the way. “Your hair’s so—interesting! It’s thicker and stiff! Does it have any sensory applications or is it purely cosmetic?”

He felt like his brain had been scrambled. “Entrapta, please—this is—you can’t—I’m—“ He’d bowed forward, gripping the sides of the stool. His hearts were hammering. “I think you should stop.”

She withdrew from him immediately. “Oh, no—did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

He shook his head, trying to clear it. “I’m unhurt. You didn’t do anything wrong, but your exam is having some unintended side-effects.”

“Oh? Like what?” With his whole torso bowed toward her, they were at eye-level now. He met her gaze, feeling the heat spread across his cheeks as he flushed. “Oh!” she said, drawing out the word. “I understand.”

His shoulders dropped, and he shut his eyes. “Forgive me. It’s an autonomic reaction. Prime used various hormones to repress such things, but it seems they’ve worn off.” He grabbed his tabard and pulled it over his head. He did not put the pants back on. As he adjusted the garment, he said, “I’m sorry. When we have access to a lab, I can synthesize the same hormone cocktail to keep those instincts in check.” He pressed a hand to his crest, firmly pushing it down. Now that he was reunited with Entrapta, he would need to apply more gel until—

Her hand caught his, pulling until he was facing her. “Hordak, wait. I think we need to discuss this.”

He bowed his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect you—“

“Disrespect? Hordak, no! Please sit down. Let’s talk, okay?”

He looked her over carefully, but she didn’t seem angry or offended. She seemed concerned. Cautiously, he sat and waited for her to elaborate. 

She kept her distance from him, pacing in the small tent. He waited, but she seemed to be thinking about something. He huffed but didn’t interrupt her—it’s not like he had anywhere else to be. Besides, despite his embarrassing reaction, he enjoyed being in her company. After being kept apart for so long, he wasn’t keen to leave her now. 

“Okay!” she finally said, stopping dead in her tracks before facing him. “Why do you want to ‘keep those instincts in check’?”

His ears twitched, and he looked away from her, lifting his chin. “It’s shameful. A weakness. I would not subject you to that, nor would I subject myself.”

“Who says it’s shameful?”

“Big Bro—“ He stopped. Blinked. “Oh.”

She smiled—compassionate but not pitying. “Yeah.” She stepped closer, reaching out. He took her hands, enjoying the way her thumbs ran over the backs of his hands. “Listen, I don’t want to pressure you and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you aren’t interested in that, then that’s fine, but if Horde Prime’s opinions are the only thing keeping you back, then I want you to know that I wouldn’t mind experimenting with some of those ‘autonomic reactions’. I have them myself, and they can be very enjoyable.” Her eyes were half-lidded, and the expression on her face set his hearts pounding all over again. “Okay?”

He swallowed. It was difficult, sometimes, to separate his feelings and opinions from Prime’s, but Entrapta gave him a good reason to try. “I will consider this more thoroughly.”

She smiled and leaned forward, touching her lips to his cheek. His breath caught, and he brought his hand up to cup her jaw. “Good,” she said, then brought her mouth to his. The contact was brief, chaste, but it left him feeling lightheaded. The nerves along his spine seemed to prickle. It seemed an oddly strong reaction for such a gentle touch. 

She pulled away and brought the recorder to her face. “Intimacy log number one! The first kiss—I note a pleasant tingling in my extremities. Likely psychosomatic but pleasant nonetheless. Hordak? Anything to add?”

“It was—nice. Very nice. I too...felt the unusual nervous activity.”

She smiled at him, setting aside the recorder. “Excellent! Let me know if you would like to continue this particular series of experiments.”

He swallowed. “Of course. And—Entrapta?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For...everything.”

She squeezed his hand in hers. “Any time, partner.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta provides a more compelling reason for her study.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: wee bit of bondage and some dom/sub undertones. Nothing extreme. Self-esteem issues.

Hordak glanced over his shoulder at Kadroh and Entrapta. He was not jealous. At all. That was a useless emotion and he was above it.

He was just...irritated. He was trying to work, and Kadroh had come bounding in, shouting and giggling. Now, he was pulling off his shirt —Hordak was not jealous of the unblemished expanse of deep cobalt skin or his perfect physique, untouched by illness—and babbling in excitement as he modeled the various clothing items he’d picked up at the market. Entrapta oohed and awed over everything, admiring him as he preened and posed for her. 

Hordak’s ears pressed flat, and he pretended to be preoccupied by his plans for rebuilding Salineas, but he’d read the same sentence at least three times without the slightest comprehension. He needed to leave them to themselves, if he wanted to make any progress, yet he remained, slowly growing more and more irritated with himself. They were entitled to their fun, and he should let them enjoy themselves without hovering. 

Just as he finally convinced himself to leave and let them be happy without him around to spoil things, Kadroh finished his mock fashion show and bounded back out of the room, off to bother the chefs for tiny snacks. Hordak shook his head, his ears relaxing a little. Finally! Maybe now he could get some work done.

Except....

Entrapta now turned her attention on him. She was standing on her hair behind him, leaning close. He turned to look at her, feeling her breath on his ear. “Hordak, maybe we should go shopping for you sometime.”

“I have an adequate amount of clothing.” Shortly after arriving in Dryl, he’d commissioned a few dresses for himself. The cut was essentially the same as his old uniform, but now he bore Dryl’s sigil on his chest rather than the Horde sigil.

“Okay, but....” She pursed her mouth, trying to decide how best to explain. “Do these clothes make you feel good about yourself? Do you enjoy wearing them?”

He set down the tablet, lowering his ears as he looked at her. Mostly because he was confused. “They fulfill their purpose.”

She gave him a look he was coming to recognize—she was plotting something. He tensed a little. Entrapta seemed intent on subjecting him to new things and new experiences, insisting that they find things that he ‘enjoyed’.

For reasons unknown to him, she seemed to be collecting this information so that she could use it on him. He wasn’t complaining—it was nice when she brought him a mug of cocoa in the morning, or when she asked her chefs to prepare the little fruit tarts that he and Kadroh enjoyed so much. He trusted her implicitly, but he still found the experiences unnerving. More so because he couldn’t quite understand why she was so intent on collecting this information. He was already happier than he’d ever been, just being with her in Dryl. Wanting anything more seemed absurd. Unreasonable. 

Kadroh, perhaps, deserved to be treated to such things, but Hordak? 

Whatever he thought he deserved, though, he could tell by the look in her eye that they’d be going shopping soon, despite the feeble protests he might raise. She didn’t say anything about it, though, likely intent on planning more fully before submitting him to her plot. “Okay! As long as you’re comfortable,” she said casually. 

He was not fooled. “I am. Comfortable. Very comfortable.”

Her smile was brilliant. “I’m glad! What are you working on?”

He released the breath he’d been holding. This was more familiar territory. He was more sure of himself, more confident. Turning back to the desk, he pressed his fingers to the surface, manipulating the screen so an enlarged view of the blueprints was visible. “Rebuilding Salineas. I was thinking about installing a desalination plant here.” He pointed and spread his fingers to focus on it. “With that and an irrigation system—“

“The inland villages wouldn’t be as susceptible to drought.”

“Exactly.”

“And with the tides....”

He nodded, a smug smile tugging at his mouth. “Yes; I believe we should be able to use that to generate energy. An electrical grid could revolutionize their way of life.” He lost his smug expression, leaning forward. His ears drew down and he folded his hands in front of him. “Of course, Mermista is skeptical of my intentions. Or my abilities. I’m not entirely sure which.” 

She was very close now, nearly leaning on him so she could look over his shoulder. “She’ll come around. You just have to prove yourself to her.”

“Hmph. They tell me to make up for my wrongdoings by rebuilding what I helped destroy. Yet before I do, I must prove myself trustworthy. But in order to do that, I must help them rebuild. Their logic gives me a headache.”

“Yeah, I know.” She reached up to run her fingers through his hair. It seemed like an absent-minded gesture, but his whole being fixated on the feeling. “I had to prove myself when I rejoined the alliance too. It was hard, at first.” He shut his eyes, trying to pay attention to her words, but it was hard with her hand in his hair, scritching lightly at his scalp. “But they’re really nice once you get to know them.”

His ears started to droop, and he definitely wasn’t thinking about Salineas or the princess alliance anymore. His heart rate slowed and he allowed Entrapta to lift his chin. I t was only when he opened his eyes to see her studying him through her welding mask that he started to come back to himself. “Hmmm. Your hair isn’t cresting. Am I doing this right?”

He shook his head, trying to shrug off his strange placidity. “Are you experimenting on me again?”

“Maybe.” She lifted the mask. “Is that okay?”

“I am surprised you’d find me interesting enough to experiment with.”

“Hordak, you’re an alien! A _bionic_ alien! Why wouldn’t I be interested?”

He glanced at the door. “Kadroh would be a better subject. He doesn’t have my defects. He would provide you with more accurate information on my species. Any data you collect from me would be flawed.”

“But you’re my lab partner! I don’t want to experiment like this with anyone else. Just you.” 

He blinked, ears twitching. “I...see.”

“Do you?” He hesitated, not sure how to answer that. Her hands cupped his face, holding him steady as she looked down at him. His head was still tilted back, and she stood behind him, her features upside-down in his view. “Hordak, have you thought about continuing our exploration of your autonomic responses to tactile stimulation?”

He swallowed, and a rope of her hair curled loosely around his throat. Not a threat. Never that. But it made him more conscious of his pulse-points, his rising heartbeat. “I have. But.” Having her so close was suddenly overwhelming. He pushed the rope of hair away and stood, walking toward the window so he could at least pretend to look outside. He clasped his hands behind his back, legs flexing as he tried not to rock on his toes. “I synthesized the hormone cocktail that Prime used to keep his clones from becoming...distracted. I’ve been taking it.” One hand clenched tight around his other wrist.

“Oh! Is that why your hair isn’t reacting?”

He glanced over his shoulder, looking her over. Her gaze was intent, but her hair was wrapped around anything close at hand—the chair, the table leg, her own arms. She was holding herself back to give him the space he needed. Something inside him unclenched, and he turned from the window to face her fully. “Indeed. So I’m not sure that any further experiments would provide you with any useful data. As I said, Kadroh would be a much better subject for you.”

Her hair tightened. “Can I show you something?”

He cocked his head. “I’m not sure why you feel the need to ask. I am always interested in whatever—“ One rope of hair wrapped around his wrist and tugged him from the room. She was not quite running, but her pace was urgent and he had to walk briskly to keep up. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere private.”

With that, she pulled open a door and pushed him inside, shutting it behind her. A thread of hair locked the door as she walked past him, hopping on one foot as she tried to take her work boots off. Before he could offer assistance, she lifted herself on her hair and curled her legs up to her hands so she could get her boots off. She tossed them aside, swiftly followed by her socks. Only when she unclasped her overalls did he start to become alarmed. “What are you doing?”

“Showing you my defects.”

The top of her overalls fell to her waist and she immediately started to shimmy out of them. He watched for a moment, baffled. “You do not have—“

“Hordak, I’m not perfect. Neither are you. Neither is Kadroh or anyone else. And it’s okay!” She dropped her overalls and tugged off her shirt as her hair deposited her safely on the ground. “Look—“ She stood before him in her underwear, arms and legs star-fished to showcase her whole body. “I am short.”

“Your stature is—“

A rope of hair pressed to his mouth, silencing him. “Hush. As I was saying; my body-type is ‘unfashionable’.” Her eyes lowered for just a moment. One hand pressed to her stomach, pinching the place that pouched out with subcutaneous fat. His shoulders tensed and he strode forward, not liking the way she did that _at all_ , but her hair dropped to his chest, pushing him back. “And look—“ she held her arms out in front of her, showing him the shiny scar tissue that covered her arms and much of her hands. “I have scarring on my arms and hands. They aren’t even cool scars, either—I just burned myself in a lab accident.” She laughed a little self-deprecatingly. “Just smart enough to get myself into trouble, right?”

“Entrapta—“

“Do you think less of me for my defects?”

“Those are not defects! Your body is performing as intended!”

“Imperfections, then. Do you think less of me?”

“That’s absurd! Why would I?”

“Good! And you know I don’t think less of you for yours.” He flinched and looked away, ears drooping a little. He did know that. “So stop trying to push me off on Kadroh. I don’t want to see his autonomic responses. I was to see yours.”

“I was not pushing you off—“ She put her hands on her hips and gave him a look. He cleared his throat and put his hands behind his back, looking at the floor. “It is difficult to understand why you would choose me when there are other—“ He swallowed down the word ‘better’, knowing she would not appreciate the adjective. “—options available.”

“You listen to me when I talk. You understand me. And I like to think that I understand you too.”

His chest swelled. “I have had the depths of my mind plumbed, and yet you understand me better than anyone.”

She smiled broadly, her cheeks pink. “You say things like that. And you mean them.”

“Why would I speak falsely?”

She swallowed and looked away, grabbing a lock of hair and combing her fingers through it. She started to pace, but she seemed to shake herself free of whatever thought had gripped her. She smiled at him again. “I don’t know. People do, though. Lie.” 

He narrowed his eyes. “Someone hurt you.”

She seemed to shrug it off, though her hands were still wrapped in her hair. “Everyone gets hurt. Right? I mean...we’ve both hurt people. A lot of people. It happens. Everyone does it. Everyone experiences it at one time or another. It’s all just a matter of degree.” Her gaze went distance. “I wonder if there’s a system of measurement for that....”

He came closer, lifting a hand to offer some comfort. He stopped before he could make contact. “May I touch you?”

“That’s another thing!” she exclaimed, spinning suddenly as her hair took hold of him. She walked him backward, toward the wall, pinning him there. “You understand that I can’t always....” One hand fumbled, as if she could pluck the word she wanted from the air. “Be touched.”

Her hair was wrapped around his upper arms, holding him securely but not tightly. He swallowed, looking down on her. It was not fear that set his hearts hammering and caused something low in his abdomen to tighten. It was something else. Something new. 

She raised herself up on her hair so they were at eye level. “Do you see now? Why I want you and not someone else?”

“No. But—!” He swallowed, trying to speak before she could pull away, despite the lump in his throat. “I’m grateful. I may not understand why, but I am glad that you feel for me the same way I feel for you.”

She smiled. “Good.” She reached for his hair, running her fingers through it. “How’s that feel?”

He shut his eyes, pressing into her hand. It was different, now. Somehow, having his hands bound while she pet him was thrilling rather than relaxing. He could feel his scalp prickling, though his hair remained flat. “It’s. Good. Not as overwhelming as it was before.”

“Interesting.” Her hands traced down his scalp until she reached his ears. “Have I ever told you how cute your ears are?”

His ears flexed and his eyes opened wide. “No, you—!” He sputtered. “They are not!”

“No?” she asked, smiling as she ran a thumb over the edge of each ear.

“No.”

“If you say so,” she said in a sing-song. He huffed, feeling his cheeks grow hot. “This is cute too.” She brushed a thumb over his cheek. 

“I am not cute!”

“Being a subjective term, I don’t think you get to decide what I do or do not find to be ‘cute’.”

He huffed, unable to refute that. Victorious, she smiled, her hands dropping to his jaw before trailing down his neck to rest on his chest. He wondered if she could feel his hearts beating under her hand. “Can I continue?”

“With what?”

“Exploring your reactions to tactile stimulation.”

His ears flattened. “With the hormones I’m taking, I doubt my reactions will prove titillating.”

“I’m not looking to be titillated. I’m interested in seeing what kind of touches you enjoy. What feels good to you. What you like. It doesn’t have to be sexual to be enjoyable.”

His cheeks were only getting hotter. He swallowed. “I see.”

“Besides,” she added, looking him over, “I would like a basis of comparison, should you ever choose to stop taking them.”

A soft noise escaped him. It definitely didn’t sound anything like a whimper. “Oh.”

“May I proceed?”

His hearts were beating hard, and something inside him squirmed. It was not shame he felt. Not fear. Something adjacent, without the sting of either. Anticipation, perhaps, though it was sharper than that. More intense. He flexed his arms, feeling the strength of her hold on him, and the anticipation peaked. 

“Yes.” He swallowed, wondering what he was getting himself into. “Please proceed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate chapter summary: Entrapta wants to spoil her grumpy spacebat, but he makes it so damn hard.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intimacy Log #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: stronger bondage themes, non-sexual intimacy, non-sexual bondage, submissive Hordak, some mild angst at the end related to how Entrapta has been treated in the past.

“Yes. Please proceed.”

She smiled brilliantly, and her shoulders shimmied a little. “I’m so happy you said that! I mean—“ She looked down. “—I didn’t want to pressure you, and if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, tell me to stop, but I’m really excited that you’re letting me do this.”

He nodded slowly, not fully understanding her excitement. Then again, he hadn’t fully understood her insistence on finding food he enjoyed or on decorating his room in a fashion he found aesthetically pleasing. “I am glad,” he finally said, watching in bemusement as she stepped back to look him over.

“I’m not even sure where to start,” she said, rubbing her chin. Her mouth pinched to the side. “Hmmm.” She lowered her welding mask, cycling through a few of its filters, the lenses changing color as she did. “Do you have a preference?”

His ears folded back. “Not especially. I’m not.... I am not accustomed to this.”

“Hordak, I told you, this isn’t sexual.”

“I meant being touched.”

“Oh. Ooh! I understand. That makes sense.” Her mask was an eerie blank as she looked him over. She plucked her recorder from the lump of discarded clothing and spoke into it. “Intimacy log number two. With the subject’s approval, I will begin by removing his armor and whatever clothing he is comfortable with. How’s that?”

It took him a moment to realize she was asking him. He thought about it. He was having a good day; his pain was little more than a distant concern. “I don’t believe that will be a problem.”

“Excellent!”

He expected her to release him, but instead, she came close and ejected his crystal. The power bled out of his armor, and it was suddenly heavy on his limbs. He swallowed, watching her. “You want to do this manually?”

“Yes!” She pushed up her mask. “Is that okay?”

“I don’t foresee any problems.” It just put him further off-balance than he already was.

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you?” 

“Of course.”

“Okay—resuming armor removal.” She lowered her mask and her hair pulled him into position—pinning his torso to the wall while she pulled one arm forward. He relaxed, placidly allowing her to manipulate him. A fleeting urge to fight her surfaced—driven primarily by idle curiosity rather than concern—but it was quickly subsumed. With her gloves off, her fingers were soft and nimble around his wrist. She removed his vambrace easily, detaching it from his radial port with a soft hiss. He flexed his hand automatically, and her fingers ran between his ulna and radius. Her thumb traced along the fragile skin, and the hair along the back of his neck rose as she caressed it. She found his wrist, and her fingers tightened, massaging the tendons along his wrist and palm. His toes flexed as she ran the pads of her fingers from the base of his palm to the very tip of his claws. An exhale escaped him, accompanied by a low sound that vibrated from deep in his chest.

She paused, head cocked. “Hmmm. Hordak, I felt....” She touched her chest. “Was that you?”

His features felt hot. He looked away, his ears folding back as he admitted, “Yes. I believe it was probably too low for you to hear, though you were obviously able to pick up on the vibrations. To my ears, it sounded like a low rumble.” He’d hoped she wouldn’t be able to sense that, but at close range, it wasn’t surprising. 

“This is so cool!” She brought the recorder close to document her findings. “Subject produces subsonic vocalizations in response to pleasant stimulation.” She lifted her mask. “That’s correct, right? That was a happy sound?”

Something in the way she said that made his insides squirm—not unpleasantly so, but that blend of anxiety and anticipation was peaking again. “Yes,” he said, unable to look at her as he replied. “I believe it was.”

She pressed a hand to his chest. “I’d like to study this behavior more closely.”

“I’m not certain I can do it at will.”

She looked up at him, grinning. “That won’t be necessary.”

He was an intelligent man. Nonetheless, it took him a moment to understand her meaning, and when he did, he felt his cheeks warm. “Oh. I see.”

She lowered her mask, and her hair went to work, disconnecting his armor and carefully setting it to the side. It was strangely intimate, feeling her hair slide under and around his armor, detaching it from his ports and pulling itoff piece by piece. For an instant, he was free—only her hand on his chest restrained him. Then her hair was back around his wrists, pulling them up above his head. She pressed them to the wall. “May I take this off?” She tugged at his dress.

He swallowed. It should have been an easy ‘yes’. She’d examined him before. Yet the context was so different now. She wanted access to his body for the sole purpose of making him feel good and that was....

He swallowed again. 

“Elevated heart-rate,” she observed. “Are you nervous? Or excited?”

“I’m.” He looked up at his hands, flexing them to feel the strength of her grip on him. “Is ‘both’ an option?”

“It is. It’s okay. We can leave it on for now.”

He nodded. “Thank you—“

He inhaled sharply, as her hand caressed his side where the dress left him exposed. For the first time, he truly tested her hold on his hands, the instinctive need to guard himself overtaking him for a moment. Her grip held, and heat pooled in his abdomen as he realized he couldn’t stop her even if he wanted to. That was.... Liberating? Exhilarating? He trusted her to stop if he truly wanted her to stop, but somehow, it made the soft touches a little easier to accept. (As if he hadn’t agreed to this explicitly, as if he had no part in it. A convenient excuse to ease his shame.)

“Are you okay?”

He nodded, lost in his thoughts and fixated on the way her fingers played along his side. Her hand ran up and down the exposed patch of skin, fingers skating along the bottom of his ribcage and skimming his hip. His skin prickled where she touched, and he found himself trying to shift his body so she’d touch him more, trying to will her to slip her hand under his dress. 

“Does this feel good?”

With effort, he found his voice. “I—“ He clenched his hands, trying to steady himself. “Yes. It feels. Nice.”

“Just nice? Would something else feel better?” Her hand came to rest on his hip, only her thumb rubbing small circles on his skin. A disappointed chirp escaped him. She lifted her mask to look up at him. “Hordak? Is there something you want? You have to tell me or I won’t know.”

“I’m not entirely sure,” he confessed, even as her touch seemed to brand him. “I like feeling your bare skin against mine. I think I would like more. Perhaps my leg? Or...” He looked away, feeling his throat tighten. 

She lifted herself up onto her hair so she was at his eye level. Her hand slipped from his side, and she cupped his face. He shut his eyes, feeling the pads of her fingers press into his jaw. “Or?” she prompted, the edge of her thumb brushing his lower lip. “You can tell me.”

“...under my dress?” he said softly.

“Good! That’s good! I’m glad you told me.” She leaned in to kiss him as a reward. Her mouth was hot on his, her lips soft. With his hands bound, he couldn’t hold her, couldn’t control the kiss in any way. His only choices were to fight it or accept it, and he had no desire to fight her. 

Kissing was new and strange, but pleasant. It set his nerves tingling, particularly when her tongue briefly touched the seam between his lips. He gasped, and she pulled away, smiling. “I like it when you do that,” she murmured in his ear. He didn’t understand her words, was barely aware of the deep, thrumming sound that vibrated his sternum. He was definitely aware of the way her chest pressed against his, though, and her lips feathering down the side of his neck. His insides again felt like they were squirming, and his lower abdomen felt oversensitive. 

Without warning, her hand slipped under his dress, caressing his chest. “Subject has small, vestigial nipples.”

It was hard to think, hard to focus while she ran her fingers over his sternum and across his pectorals, but he had to add, “Technically, not vestigial. From a purely—“ Her hand dipped to his stomach, and the muscles there clenched. He swallowed. “—biological standpoint.”

She was smiling at him, and he still felt too scrambled to focus on anything other than the way her palm pressed flat against his diaphragm or the way her other hand ran up and down his exposed flank. “No navel, but that’s to be expected. How are you feeling?”

Like every nerve was singing. “Hot. Somewhat—stressed. But...not overly so.”

“Positive stress? Or negative?”

“Positive.”

“Would you want to explore this further at a later date?”

“I.” He swallowed. It was hard to admit, but he couldn’t imagine lying. “I think so.”

She kissed him again, cupping his face in her hands. “Good. I want to too.”

She withdrew from him, her hair unwinding from his hands and torso. “Do you want help putting your armor back on?”

He shook his head, nerves still tingling. “I think I would like to do it myself.” It was tedious to do it by hand, but he felt more and more himself with each piece that snapped into place. The last piece was his crystal, and the armor hummed to life. He flexed his arms, feeling the power and strength in his limbs. 

Now fully dressed, Entrapta just watched him, smiling pleasantly. “Thank you,” she said when he was armored. “I enjoyed that a lot.”

He frowned, crossing his arms. “I am glad. I enjoyed it as well, but I feel that the experience was somewhat one sided. I’m given to understand that things of this nature are meant to be more reciprocal.”

“Oh.” She lowered her welding mask, one hand pulling at her hair. “Sorry. It’s—I know it’s weird, but I don’t always like being touched.”

His fingers curled in and he brought them to his crystal. “Entrapta, what we just did involved a great deal of physical contact. Are you okay?” His ears folded back. “We don’t need to do things like this if it makes you uncomfortable—“

“No!” Her hair pulled her mask up even as she bounded toward him, taking his hands in hers. “It’s not like that. It’s hard to explain. Touching is different from being touched.” She frowned, looking at the ground as she tried to find the words. “I liked touching you. I like the way your skin feels—oh! An additional note for the log; subject’s skin has a different texture in comparison to Etherian skin. It is somewhat rougher, but not uncomfortably so, and in places where the skin has lost its natural pigmentation, it is smoother and finer. I suspect it is also more sensitive and more prone to injury. Note: the subject is nodding in confirmation.” She pulled the recorder away. “What was I saying?”

“You were explaining that you enjoyed touching me but don’t necessarily want to be touched yourself.”

“Right! It’s just. Different. Sometimes it’s okay. Sometimes it isn’t.”

He considered that, nodding. He had good days and bad days himself—his illness was not constant. It ebbed and flowed in unpredictable ways. It certainly made sense to him that her preferences would change from day to day. “I understand. You will tell me when it is all right to initiate contact with you?” He looked away, clasping his hands behind his back. “I would like to add my own notes to our intimacy log. With your permission, of course.”

She peered at him from under her mask, hand at the ready to pull it down. “That’s...you’re really okay with that?”

“With what?”

“That I sometimes don’t want to be touched?”

“As I understand it, this is for our mutual enjoyment. Touching you if you don’t want to be touched hardly seems like it would further that goal.”

She released her mask. “You....”

He bent toward her. “Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“This just went better than I expected. Usually this conversation doesn’t go very well at all.”

“Have you had this conversation with many people?” He ignored the way his chest constricted at the thought. 

“No, but they’ve always tried to...fix me. Or tell me that I just don’t know what I want. Or they say I’m being...cold.”

His ears folded back. “I don’t see why your temperature has to do with anything. Additionally, you’re a grown woman, and nothing you’ve said or done indicates to me that you don’t know what you want or that you’re afraid to go after it if necessary. Furthermore, I see nothing that needs to be ‘fixed’—you seem perfectly functional to me. More so than whoever said such things.” He paused. “What are their names?”

She lifted herself up on her hair so he didn’t have to bend down to look at her. “You really don’t mind?”

“Not at all. What are their names, Entrapta?”

“You didn’t even mind that I....” She pulled the mask down again, jumping to the ground. 

“Mind what?”

Her hair curled around her hands and arms. “My hair. I held you down. I should have asked, I know I should have asked, but you would have said something, right? If you didn’t like it? You would have told me? You always tell the truth. You always tell _me_ the truth. You would have told me, if—?”

“Entrapta. Yes; I would have told you if you did something that I found upsetting.”

“So it’s okay?”

He considered. “I think, in the future, that I would like you to ask first. Much like you have days you don’t want to be touched, I can anticipate days when that would be upsetting rather than thrilling.”

He realized what he said and flushed. She smiled. “Thrilling?”

He lifted his chin, trying to scavenge his dignity. “I. Enjoyed all aspects of our time together. You may do with that knowledge what you will.”

“Oh, really? ‘What I will’, hmm? Interesting.” She pulled the recorder out again. “I must develop a more thorough experimental procedure prior to our next encounter. I have a hypothesis to test.”

“What hypothesis?”

“Hordak, you’re part of the experiment! I can’t tell you—that would taint the data!”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “You are teasing me.”

“I would never joke about data.” 

The little smile tucked into the corner of her mouth at least indicated that she meant no harm, and he was satisfied with that. “I suppose I must wait for the next session, then.”

She made a high-pitched sound, then used her pigtails to support herself as she did a backflip, as if unable to contain her excitement. She seemed so pleased that Hordak decided not to risk upsetting her by asking after her past partners’ names. For now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note about nipples and alien biology:
> 
> I am extremely torn about Hordak’s biology. There are certain features I want to include for either sexy reasons or headcanon reasons. Nipples are a prime example of this. I’ve decided that I’m going to operate under the (loose) headcanon that there is either some extreme convergent evolution going on in this galaxy (hi, yes; why is everyone humanoid?) or there was some kind of ‘seed’ species that served as the progenitor for all these separate species. The latter seems more likely to me, so I’m going to use that to explain certain similarities between our lovely spacebats and the bog standard human.
> 
> Hence the nipples. I declare that the spacebats in this fic are placental mammals (I guess I could have made them monotremes instead? but I don’t especially want to think about them laying eggs) and I really didn’t feel like putting his nipples in awkward places. I apologize if this broke anyone’s immersion, but I want to assure you that I definitely thought about it. It’s just not the kind of world-building I can naturally work into the fic while everyone is getting all touchy. That’s a bit much, even for these nerds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak is having a bad day. Until Entrapta intervenes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Totally SFW. Nothing but cuddles. Brief ableist language and dealing with chronic pain/disability, but the focus is on fluff and comfort.

It had been a very long day. He’d spent the morning arguing with Mermista over his plans for rebuilding Salineas—he was beginning to suspect she was shooting down his ideas out of pure spite—and then the rest of the day had been a series of small inconveniences and trials. A nearby village had sent a representative to Dryl, demanding—not requesting; _demanding_ —aid in rebuilding their infrastructure after the collapse of a small bridge. The castle servants had ambushed him after that, begging him to ask Entrapta to decommission some of her traps—and when, exactly, had he become the more approachable of the two? Finally, Kadroh had cornered him in his lab, asking about everything he did and why he was doing it and did he like Entrapta? Were they friends or were they more than friends? And what, exactly, was Imp, anyway? To top it all off, his armor simply wasn’t managing his pain. Not to the degree he needed it to. Everything hurt and everyone he spoke to seemed intent on trying his patience. 

He was done.

“Oooh, what does this—“

“Kadroh. Get out.”

“—do? Hmmm? Did you say something, Brother?”

“I said; Get out!”

“You sound angry. Should I—?”

“OUT!”

Kadroh gave him a concerned look, walking slowly out of the room. “Okay. But I’m worried about you!”

Hordak rubbed the spot between his eyes, trying to figure out when, exactly, yelling ‘Get out!’ stopped earning him privacy and instead started netting him concerned looks. Either way, Kadroh—no matter how reluctantly—had left. It was the first moment of peace Hordak had been allowed the entire day. He leaned against the table, head in his hands. He took a breath, cataloging his various aches and pains, from the bone-deep soreness in his strained legs to the absolute agony of his shoulders and upper back.

He would have happily taken a sedative and gotten himself some restful sleep, but there was daylight left, and he had work to do.

He took a breath and returned his attention to his plans for Salineas, growling softly as he erased or edited the aspects Mermista had objected to. His shoulders burned as he leaned over the drafting table, but he just clenched his hand and shifted position, trying in vain to find a pose that relieved the ache. 

A clanging in the vents made him growl. He expected Imp to come flying through—then he heard Entrapta’s soft giggling, and he wasn’t sure what or who to expect anymore. Until Entrapta’s lower half appeared, hanging from a vent-shaft overhead. Uncertain, he dropped everything and walked toward her dangling legs. “Is everything all right? Do you need assistance?”

“Nope!”

He waited, watching her. Though he wasn’t fully sure what he intended to do should she fall. Even with his armor, he was in no shape to catch her at the moment. 

(He’d definitely catch her. Personal consequences be damned, he’d catch her without a moment of hesitation.)

Thankfully, she had everything in hand. Or in hair. She lowered herself out of the vent with her hair, jumping down when she was close enough to the ground that the risk of injury was minimal. His hearts steadied a little and he nodded at her. “This is unexpected. I thought you were occupied with repairs to your Beast Island mech.” 

“Oh, yeah! She’s still running rough, but with a little more TLC, she’ll be good as new! Well. Kind of. Kadroh said you were being grumpier than usual?”

He blinked at the abrupt change in topic, then crossed his arms and looked away, ears folding back. “He is...disruptive. I asked him to leave. And I am not grumpy!”

“Did you ask? Or did you just yell at him?”

Hordak threw his hands up and stalked back to the table. “Why does it matter!? He’s a distraction, and not one I can deal with at the moment!”

She popped up on the other side of his drafting table as soon as he started working again. “You _are_ in a mood, aren’t you?”

“I am not—!” He growled, leaning forward until they were nose to nasal ridge. “I am not ‘in a mood’. I am busy. I am trying to get my work done and no one seems capable of respecting that.”

She just ‘booped’ him on the nose and started to run her fingers through his hair. “I think you need to take a break.”

“I need to get this done!” 

“Does it need to be done before tomorrow?”

Realistically, he knew that would not be possible. “No,” he said, voice still undercut by a soft growl. “It will take several days to finish, at least. Which is why I must get as much done as possible now.” He brushed her hand away from his hair. “Stop that!”

“I thought you liked it when I did that?”

“That is not the point!”

“What is the point?”

“I’m trying to work. You are distracting me.”

“So? What’s wrong with a little distraction? This isn’t urgent.” She gestured to the drafting table and the diagrams displayed. “Why not take a break? Especially if it’s putting you in a bad mood.”

“I can’t just take a break!”

“Why not?”

He floundered, not sure how to answer that. She ran her fingers through his hair again, causing his scalp to prickle pleasantly. “Entrapta.” He stopped, not liking his tone. It sounded too much like he was begging. 

“Come on,” she urged, hopping off the drafting table and wrapping her hair around his waist. He glanced at his plans and diagrams as she started to tug him toward the door. 

He could fight her, if he really wanted to. He was in his armor. He had the strength to pull free, though it would cost him later. Even that was likely unnecessary, though. He suspected that she would stop if he put up more than token resistance. 

If he truly wanted her to stop, he could make it clear, and she would stop.

He dragged his feet, but ultimately allowed her to pull him from the room. She smiled at him as the door shut behind them, and she pushed him down the hallway. He started to fuss again when they passed his door. “My bedroom is here.”

“I know, but mine’s more comfortable. We really should get you some comfy chairs or something.”

“My furniture is perfectly adequate.”

Ignoring him, she pulled him into her suite of room and smiled. He crossed his arms, returning her smile with a glare. “There. I am ‘taking a break’. Are you pleased with yourse—elf?!”

She plucked the crystal from his suit with a nimble rope of hair. Before he could react to the sudden heaviness of his armor, she was already stripping it from him. “That is what the applicator in my bedroom is for,” he said pointedly.

She lifted herself up so she could cup his chin. “I know. This is better, though, right? No pinching. No pain.”

He huffed and looked away, unwilling to admit that she was right. “I can do it myself.”

“Yep!” she said, sounding pleased with herself, “But there’s nothing wrong with getting a little help once in a while. Especially when you’re hurting.”

His ears folded back, and he dropped his gaze. “Is it...that obvious?”

“No. I think most people just think you’re grumpy.” He huffed, scowling. “But Kadroh said it looked like you were in pain.”

His ears drew down. “I was not aware he knew of my defect.”

“He doesn’t—or, well, I didn’t tell him about it. I think he’s just....” Her mouth rucked to the side as she thought about it. “I think he sees people the way I see robots. Anyway, he said you looked like you were hurt, and I figured that might be why you were in such a mood.”

“I am not in a mood!” Free of his armor, he crossed his arms over his chest to hide the fine tremor in his hands. Everything ached, and now that he didn’t have his armor supporting him, he felt close to collapse. Not that he would admit that, even to her. 

“Hmmm...bed? Or chair?” she wondered aloud. 

“What?”

“Which would be more comfortable?” He knew the answer to that, but it was also embarrassing, so he said nothing. “Probably the bed.” His cheeks warmed, but he couldn’t find it in himself to protest as she caught him around his hips and shoulders with her hair, supporting him as she walked him into her bedroom and shoved him—gently; she was always so gentle with him, even when she was being forceful—onto the mattress. A stray rope of hair flipped on the lights, casting a warm glow over the plush mattress and pillows. 

“See? My room is way more comfortable than yours.” She considered that. “We should do something about that...unless you don’t mind staying in here with me when you’re having a bad day.” She smiled brightly, and he glanced around the room, taking in the varying shades of purple and violet, the heavy canopy the hung over her bed, and the various disemboweled electronics that lay scattered across her furniture, in stark contrast to the softer elements of her decor. 

It was not decorated to his tastes at all, but there was something peaceful in being here. This was her space. Her room. And she’d invited him in. That spoke to something visceral inside of him, warming him, but how it made him feel was hardly the most important consideration. “I am certain your staff would start to gossip if I spent too much time with you in here.”

She looked at him blankly. “About what?”

Her hair was rearranging the pillows around them, and before he could answer, she asked, “Are you comfortable?”

He should resist this. He should have stopped things before they got this far, should have insisted she leave him in his room—alone—but he was tired and everything hurt, and the threat of gossip seemed so distant. Surely, they could have this. It was innocent enough, and her staff would know that. “I...wouldn’t mind if you allowed me to use some of your pillows.”

She nodded, the two of them shifting him and the pillows until he was as comfortable as he could physically be at the moment—without drugs, at least. He ended up propped slightly to one side, his ribcage and upper back cushioned by pillows. He leaned back against them, sighing softly. He opened his eyes when she drew a heavy blanket overtop him, the weight of it settling around him like an embrace. She was, partially, under the blanket as well, her hand on his side, thumb slowly running over his exposed skin. He hadn’t thought he could get more comfortable—not on a day like today—but her other hand crooked overhead to run her fingers through his hair. This time, he shut his eyes and allowed himself to appreciate the way his scalp prickled when she did that. The nerves all down the back of his neck and trailing across his upper back tingled pleasantly. The deep ache in his body lingered, but the affected muscles loosened, making it easier to bear.

The soft thrumming—too low for Etherian ears to hear, but strong enough that she could probably feel it in her chest at this proximity—started up. He should be embarrassed that he had so little control over his body, but he found, in that moment, he didn’t care.

He shut his eyes, ears drooping and relaxed. “Thank you,” he murmured, “You don’t have to stay.”

Her hands stilled. “Do you want me to leave?” 

His thrumming quieted, and he looked at her. “You have more important things to do than babysit an invalid. I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

She resumed her ministrations, and a soft moan—definitely audible, even to her ears—escaped him. He flinched, but she just leaned close and brushed her lips against his. “If you don’t want me to leave, then I’ll stay. I like helping. And I like hearing the sounds you make. Or feeling them. It’s fascinating. As far as I’m concerned, this is very valuable data for our intimacy log. And...” she drew the word out, pressing their foreheads together. “I don’t like it when you call yourself that. It reminds me of the ‘r’ word.”

“‘R’ word?”

“I’ll explain later. It makes me uncomfortable and right now, I’m very comfortable and happy, so I don’t want to think about it.”

He nodded, but worry clawed at him. Carefully constructing his sentence to make sure he didn’t use any word that began with ‘r’, he asked, “Is it something I might say incidentally? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Especially after she’d taken such great pains to keep him comfortable.

She giggled. “Don’t worry. You wouldn’t. It’s not a common word, and not one I’ve ever heard you say.”

The concern lingered, but her hand had moved from his hair to his ear, rubbing the pointed tip. His eyelids slipped shut, and he relaxed into the pillows. His shoulders were still sore, but this position relieved the deep ache of before. 

She leaned close. “Hordak?”

“Hmm?” With her hand on his side and her fingers alternately running through his hair or over the tip of his ear, he was finding it difficultto form words.

“Would it be okay if I got a little closer?”

He opened his eyes and reached out to her, though he stopped before he could make contact. “You may get as close as you like.”

She smiled, laying her cheek in his palm. He shifted his fingers, running the blunt side of his claws against her temple. A small shudder ran through her, followed by a soft coo. “Oh, that’s nice. I like that,” she said, scooting closer to him. 

Soon, they were both tucked under the heavy blanket. She pressed herself against his side, curling there. One of her arms reached over his waist and up his side. The other was pressed to his ribcage, sandwiched between their bodies. All along that side of his body, he could feel her pressing against him, and the contact revived the steady thrumming once again.

“May I...?” He cleared his throat. “May I put my arm around you?”

“Oh, yeah! I think I’d like that.”

He moved carefully, afraid to disturb this tableau. He’d never been so close to someone before, never been held like this. Unless someone intended to harm him, that is. It was strange to feel safe in the arms of another person—strange and wonderful—and he was afraid he might ruin it somehow. Nonetheless, he snaked his arm alongside her shoulder, careful not to catch his claws on her hair, and held her to him, one large hand resting on her hip. She sighed and, somehow, snuggled closer, leaning her head on the place were his chest and shoulder joined. 

“Is this good?”

He nodded. “Is it good for you as well?”

“It’s even better than anticipated.” She sighed happily, squeezing his waist. “I’ll have to remember that this position seems to be ideal for cuddling.” She nuzzled against him. “I can feel your purring.”

He frowned, though the steady thrumming didn’t stop. “I do not purr. That is not a purr. It is a subsonic vocalization.”

“You know...feline purring has been shown to have some positive effects on healing and pain management. I wonder if the same is true for you.”

“It is not a purr.” Despite his insistence, the way her fingers ran up and down his bare side made it difficult to maintain his irritation at the term. 

“Well, however you want to classify it, it’s definitely cute.”

He should have found that irritating as well, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and his breathing contracted in a brief, soundless laugh. “I am not ‘cute‘ by any definition.”

“You are by mine.”

His cheeks burned, but he had no response to that. He just allowed himself to shut his eyes and relax beside her, enjoying the warmth of her body alongside his. 

Before he knew it, he’d already drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hordak, just admit you’re purring.
> 
> Also, I’ve been reading [ “Portrait of Contentment”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459538/chapters/59028223). The mood is very similar to what I tried to achieve with this chapter. I’m not fully caught up yet, but if you even remotely enjoyed this chapter, definitely check out that fic if you haven’t already.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta provides Hordak with a proposed outline for their next experiment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Still pretty SFW, discussion of consent, discussion of restraints and biting, discomfort with arousal, shame.

“I want to propose an experiment!” 

Hordak was busy soldering a very delicate piece of circuitry, so he didn’t look up, but he could hear Entrapta’s feet tapping rhythmically against the floor. He pictured her supporting herself with her hair, swinging from it and tapping her feet in rhythmic intervals. The image made him smile, just a little. “I am listening.”

“It’s for our intimacy log.”

He paused. “Ah. Give me a moment.”

Her tapping grew faster, but he didn’t hurry—she wasn’t trying to rush him. She was just excited. When he was finished, he straightened and started to remove his safety glasses and gloves. “All right, what would you like—“

She leapt forward, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him toward his drafting table. He looked down at her, unable to force that soft smile from his features. Her expression was so openly excited. He had a hard time imagining that any study of himself—let alone something as unscientific, as _personal_ as their log—could hold her interest. Yet he’d only ever seen her this excited when discussing Darla or another piece of sufficiently advanced technology. 

“Here!” she said, touching his drafting table’s screen to banish the files he’d been working on. She tapped a few places on her data pad, and then her proposed experiment download to his data pad, the table’s screen displaying it. 

He frowned, noting that she’d blacked out her hypothesis and what she was aiming to do with this experiment. Yet she’d included the step-by-step procedure she wished to follow. He eyed her, tapping on the censored portions of the document. “I imagine you’ve redacted this portion so I am unbiased going forward?”

“Yes.”

“But you’ve left a detailed list of procedures here for my review. You aren’t worried that doing so might affect the results?”

She jumped up, her hair folding under her to form a chair. She looked up at him, and her fingers laced together. The expression on her face hit him hard, causing something in him to uncoil. How could she manage to make him feel so important, so...treasured with just a look? “Though we‘ve been framing this as a matter of scientific curiosity—and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t—I am primarily concerned about you.”

He touched the crystal at his throat. “Me? Why?”

She inhaled deeply. “Intimacy is...complicated. We’ve already talked about non-sexual touching, how that has the potential to be unpleasant or unwanted—though most people don’t seem to have the same trouble.” Her eyes lowered and she looked away. Unconsciously, he held his hand out to her, allowing her the opportunity to take it if she so desired. She did, her grip light. As she looked at their clasped hands, a slow smile overtook her expression. “Then again, even if our methods are unconventional, they work for us, right?”

“Indeed. So, why are you concerned for me?”

“Oh, right. Intimacy, particularly intercourse, can be a source of...discomfort. Or even trauma. While I would never deliberately harm you—and I know you’d never do that to me either—I am afraid that I might do something unintentionally, or cross a line I didn’t know about. So, regardless of the affect it might have on our experiment, I want you to review this procedure and make any notes you think might be relevant. Anything at all. Even if you don’t have a logical reason to dislike something, please let me know about it. Before we start the experiment, we’ll adjust our plans to ensure your comfort.”

“And yours?”

She smiled. “I haven’t included anything in here that I would find objectionable. When it’s my turn to be your subject.... Well. We’ll navigate that when we get to it.”

“All right. When do you want my notes?”

She waved a dismissive hand. “You can decide the timeline. Maybe....” She looked up at him. “Maybe you’re not ready yet. Give them back to me when you are.”

He glanced at the outline she’d laid out, but Imp’s presence was announced by a clanging in the vents, followed by a recording of Kadroh saying, “[Imp! Please give that back!]”

Entrapta quickly dismissed the experimental procedure from the table’s touchscreen. She leaned close, using her hair to lift her up to his ear. “Maybe review it later. In a more private setting.”

He sighed, watching Imp drop out of the vent, carrying what appeared to be a data pad. Entrapta made her escape, while Imp made a beeline for Hordak, screeching in triumph as he delivered the data pad to him. He landed on Hordak’s shoulders, chirping happily. Hordak reached up to pet him as he examined the data pad. “What did you bring me?”

“[Imp, that’s mine!]” He followed that with a recording of Entrapta laughing. 

Hordak shook his head, though he was amused by Imp’s antics. “You do not need to spy on Kadroh.”

“[—having fun?]” Entrapta’s voice again.

“Ah. In that case...” He handed the data pad back to Imp. “You may hide this in the library. There’s a space behind the second bookshelf on the Northern wall.”

He chittered in victory, dashing off to hide the data pad. When he was gone, Hordak resumed working on the new bot’s circuitry. The door to the lab opened behind him. “Um. Brother? Have you seen Imp?”

“What did he steal from you?”

“My data pad. I was sketching. How did you know he stole something?”

Hordak did not look up. “He is mischievous by nature. It’s why my Etherian troops began calling him Imp.”

He expected him to leave, then; he did not expect Kadroh to join him at the work bench. “So, you didn’t name him?”

That certainly surprised him. “No. I would not have given him a name.”

“You named yourself.” Hordak paused but did not reply. Kadroh seemed to debate with himself, then he leaned close. “Brother...you don’t talk much about what happened when you were first transported to this planet. I understand that, but I’m...I’m curious. You gave yourself a name. You built a life here. None of us would have thought that was possible. You...You freed yourself. Alone. What was it like?

Hordak stopped. He straightened and turned to Kadroh, disturbed by the admiration in his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I did not free myself. I had a chance at freedom, yes, but I didn’t take it. I spent over two decades on this planet doing everything in my power to return to Horde Prime and hoping to present this planet and its people as an offering to him. I needed a name to maintain my position here, and the name I chose was ‘Horde-ak’. The suffix is derived from an old, dead language. It means ‘of’. I am ‘of the Horde’. Hordak. I intended it as a descriptor, not a name. I did not allow myself to think of it as a name for a very long time, and I never considered renouncing Horde Prime until—“

(“ _Imperfections are beautiful._ ”)

“—very recently. So do not look at me as if I have done anything impressive.”

Kadroh blinked. “Oh.”

“Don’t you have a small thief to catch?”

“Yes. I...I suppose I do.” Hordak turned back to his work, annoyed at Kadroh and himself. “Um, Brother?”

“What?” he snapped, unable to keep the annoyance out of his tone. 

“I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

He stood in the doorway, smiling and looking hopeful.

Hordak sighed. “Look for your data pad in the library. Be thorough. Imp may have hidden it somewhere in there.”

Kadroh blinked, but Hordak just returned to his work. “Thank you, Brother!”

Thankfully, after that, he left. 

-

Hordak took Entrapta’s advice and waited until he was alone in his suite of rooms to review the outline of her proposed experiment. His armor was off, and he’d traded his dress for a simple wrap around his hips, leaving his chest bare. This late in the day, his upper back and shoulders ached. His muscles were obviously fatigued, but not to the point of exhaustion. 

He took the data pad to the bedroom, setting it on the bedside table as he made himself comfortable. He eyed the additional pillows that had “mysteriously” appeared not long after he’d spent the night in Entrapta’s bed. A prideful part of him wanted to toss them aside, but the sentimental part won out—as always—and he maneuvered them into place, making himself comfortable. He settled into his bed with a sigh, relaxing against the plentiful pillows he never would have taken for himself. 

He would have to find a way to thank Entrapta for everything she’d done for him. (An impossible debt to pay. What price could he put on freedom? On joy? On comfort? On—?)

He reached for the data pad and opened the file she’d downloaded to it. He skipped the redacted portion, scrolling to the proposed procedure.

* _Begin by removing subject’s armor and clothing_.* 

He raised a brow-ridge, using a stylus to—neatly—write, ‘All of it?’ in the margin.

* _This should be done slowly and lovingly. Subject should be rewarded for compliance with this step.*_

He swallowed. ‘Please elaborate. What do you mean, ‘rewarded’?’ For that matter, how did she intend to remove his clothing ‘lovingly’? He hesitated, but didn’t ask her to elaborate on that. 

* _When disrobing is complete, begin sensual exploration. Subject’s scalp and the tips of his ears are known sensitive areas. It is possible they could be erogenous zones as well, but that will be the subject of investigation in a later experiment.*_

He shivered a little, imagining Entrapta’s fingers in his hair, on his ears. His fingers tightened around the stylus. He kept picturing her hands sliding behind his ears, to the small hollow where his head met his neck. After some hesitation, he made a note in the margins. ‘The area behind my ears is sensitive as well.’

* _Experiment with different forms of stimulation, as appropriate. Use of massage techniques should be applied to larger muscles groups with caution, so the subject is not hurt. Use the blunt sides of fingernails to stimulate subject’s scalp—this is of particular interest due to past behavior._ *

His nerves prickled, phantom touches making him long for Entrapta’s presence. He eyed his door, suddenly wishing he’d locked it. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, but he felt very keenly that he did not want anyone walking in on him right now. Something inside him clenched, and he returned his attention to the data pad. 

* _Subject may wish to be restrained for the procedure. Comply with subject’s wishes at the time of the experiment._ * H e squirmed, squeezing his thighs together. Swallowing thickly, he checked the door again. * _Kiss the subject’s throat. Ask him how he feels about hickeys.*_ He was too preoccupied by the image her words painted to ask for clarification. He could nearly feel her hands on his shoulders, his arms upraised above his head, held down by her hair as she feathered her mouth along his neck. His scalp prickled, his crest reacting despite the hormone treatment he’d been taking. He smoothed it back firmly but kept reading.

* _Ask subject how he feels about being bitten.*_

He inhaled sharply, that something deep inside clenching again as he read that. He looked away from the data pad, running a hand down his face. Something about the image of Entrapta sinking her teeth into the meat of his shoulder, just above his collarbone—

A soft trill escaped him, the sound needy and distressed. He shut his eyes, shifting to try to settle himself. Every nerve was alight, and his breathing was a little uneven, his heart rate slightly elevated. Yet he couldn’t understand why—they were nothing but words on a screen! Why was he so strongly affected? 

He should stop this. Obviously, Entrapta had not intended to make him feel this way, and surely this wasn’t...appropriate. He shouldn’t feel like this. He was taking hormones to keep such reactions suppressed! This couldn’t be right. And if he was reacting like this to mere words, how could he ever trust himself around Entrapta if he wasn’t keeping those instincts repressed?

(“ _Oh, little brother, all of you would be nothing but beasts without me. Ruled by your base urges. Do not fear, for I will cleanse you of them._ ”)

The hazy memory made him feel dirty, and he was all at once disgusted with himself. This was wrong. He shouldn’t feel like this. Whatever Entrapta had said, surely this wasn’t normal. This couldn’t be what she wanted or intended. 

He set the data pad to the side and turned off the lamp on his bedside table. He crawled completely under the covers, hating that his body was still singing with anticipation despite his disgust. He kicked the extra pillows away, pushing them off the bed.

(He was useless. Disgusting. He did not deserve even this small measure of comfort.)

Curled under the covers, he brought his knees to his chest, arms tucked close to his torso. They shouldn’t pursue their intimacy log any further. He clearly couldn’t be trusted, not if he reacted so strongly to mere words. She’d said that sexual intimacy could result in discomfort or trauma; what if he lost control of himself? What if he hurt her? 

He curled into a tighter ball, though it strained the muscles across his upper back. He deserved it. He was awful. Disgusting. Prime was right, if only in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta, don’t leave your spacebat alone with his thoughts. He can’t be trusted with himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak and Entrapta play a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: the sappiest sap you’ve ever read in your life, non-sexual cuddling, non-sexual touching, abandonment issues, self esteem issues, sexual shame.

He would never avoid Entrapta, but he was certainly avoiding the topic of their intimacy log. She made it easy for him. She didn’t ask after the experiment procedure and didn’t suggest another. And, for better or worse, when he finally finished his plans for Salineas, Mermista approved them and demanded he come straight to her home country and begin restoring what the Horde—both Etherian and Galactic—had destroyed.

“How long will you be gone?”

“I estimate three months, but it could take as long as six.” Entrapta paced his bedroom floor, while he worked around her to pack a bag. She was—nominally—helping; her hair busily shoved clothing and cosmetics into his bag, though he had to sigh when he found himself re-packing a number of items he’d already packed. “Entrapta? Do you have any reservations about this trip you’d like to discuss?”

“No. Why?”

“Your hair seems to be unpacking my bag as quickly as I pack it.”

“Oh. Oops.” She sighed, pulling her hair back to herself so she could sit on a self-made stool. “Sorry. I guess I’ve just gotten used to having you here. After being apart for so long, it was...nice.” She started to fidget, running her hands through a lock of hair. “I know I’m being silly. It’s ridiculous to be upset. Three months or even six is like nothing in the scheme of things. And this time, we’ll even be able to contact each other via communicator. I can visit you whenever I want. It’s absurd to feel....” She slammed the welding mask down, covering her face so she could look up at him. “I’m sorry. I’m being illogical. I’ll let you finish packing.”

He moved in front of the door, when she started to leave. “Wait. Please.” She looked up at him through the lenses of her mask. He wished to see her face, but he knew the mask was a source of comfort when she was upset, and he would not take that from her. “I will miss you too.”

“You will?” She lifted the mask just enough so she could peer up at him from beneath it. 

“Yes. Though, as you said, it is entirely illogical. We have the communicators, so we can see and hear each other at any time. And—though I’m not entirely at liberty to visit you—“ The terms of the peace treaty clearly stated that he needed to prioritize Etheria’s reconstruction. “—you are the princess of an allied nation. Mermista would be hard-pressed to bar you from visiting.”

She pushed her mask back completely. “So why is this so hard?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

She glided closer, hovering on thick ropes of hair. “Can I...can I sleep in here tonight? With you?”

His ears flexed. On the one hand, he was nervous about encouraging such close physical contact. His reaction to mere words had been far too intense for him to fully trust himself around her.

And yet....

He’d never felt so peaceful as he had when she slept beside him that night. His sleep had been deep and restful, and the one occasion he’d roused in the middle of the night, he’d felt her body curled beside his, and he’d been lulled back to sleep by his own thrumming  ~~purr~~ vocalization. That had been innocent enough. He hadn’t done anything to harm her, nothing to shame himself or her. Perhaps...perhaps he could allow himself to have this, even if he couldn’t encourage anything further.

He swallowed. “I would...appreciate that.”

“Really?” He nodded, and she brightened. “Okay! Then I’ll go change!”

“...change?”

“My clothes. Sleeping in my overalls isn’t very comfortable.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Do you have pajamas? Or a nightshirt? A nightgown?”

“By that nomenclature, I would have to call it a ‘nightskirt’.”

“Good! Why don’t you wear that? Then we can both be comfortable!”

He hesitated. “It leaves quite a lot of skin exposed.”

“That’s okay; I don’t mind!” 

She very nearly bounced as she left, her hair-legs springlike. He watched her go, feeling a little adrift. He finished packing—an easy task, now that Entrapta’s hair was not also unpacking his bag—then tried to decide what he should do. If he said he would rather wear his dress, or something that provided more coverage, Entrapta would likely accept that. Everything she’d done thus far demonstrated that she only wished him to feel safe and comfortable. 

...but what if she asked why? He’d never been much bothered by gratuitous displays of skin, his own or others’, but her words had planted images, desires in his mind. What if she questioned his newfound modesty? What if she guessed that he’d reacted so poorly to her proposed experiment? She would know how disgusting he was. What would she do? Would she ask him to leave? To stop being her lab partner? 

He shut his eyes and took a shaky breath, calming himself. He would wear his nightskirt, and he would control himself. No matter what Prime had said, he was not a beast. He would not hurt her. They could lie beside each other—‘cuddle’ each other, as she called it—without doing anything more than that. They had done it before. They could do it again. And he saw no harm in it.

Satisfied with that, he allowed the applicator to remove his armor, and he prepared for bed. Just as he finished slipping into his sleepwear, she bounded into the room. Seeing the pajamas she wore—a pair of flannel pants and a long-sleeved shirt—he relaxed a little. At least he could be sure there wouldn’t be much skin-to-skin contact between them. She smiled brightly when she saw him, but soon her smile faltered and she pulled her mask down. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Well. I want to express....” Her hair started to fidget. She looked at him, the light reflecting off the lenses of her mask. “Would you be offended if I said that I found you pleasing to look at?”

He blinked. “What?”

She started to pace. “I know there’s...rules. About compliments. Especially when commenting on physical appearance. I want to tell you that I enjoy looking at you, but I know that saying that the wrong way can sometimes be hurtful and I don’t want to hurt you.” She stopped and drew herself up to his eye level, one rope of hair pulling her mask up. “Can you tell me how you’d like to be complimented? So I don’t accidentally say the wrong thing?”

He stared at her. “I.” How could she possibly enjoy the way he looked? “I had assumed physical appearance wasn’t important to you.”

She drew her legs up, and her hair folded into a seat beneath her. “It’s not the most important thing. There are many things about you I enjoy even more—your intellect, your honesty, your mannerisms. I love to watch you move. And I love your voice.” She gave a pleasant little shiver. “You have a particular tone and cadence that is unique to you, and I enjoy it immensely. There are many things about you that I like, but I also like the way you look.”

As she spoke, he could feel his cheeks growing warmer and warmer. Even the tips of his ears felt hot. She just smiled at him, seemingly unaware her words had shaken him so thoroughly. A pleasant warmth blossomed in his chest, spreading to his extremities. “I. I’m not sure what to say.”

“You don’t know how you’d prefer to be complimented?”

He swallowed, ears flexing. “It isn’t really something I have much experience with.”

“Oh! Let’s change that!” She perked up immediately, bouncing a little.

He could hear his hearts hammering. “How do you suggest we do that?”

“Well...” She dragged the word out as she considered it. “Why don’t we make a game out of it?”

“A game?”

“Yeah! You don’t have much experience with those either, do you? So let’s change that too!”

He managed to overcome his stunned silence to agree. “I am amenable to that. How do we proceed?”

“Hmmm.” Her mouth rucked to the side. “Let’s see...maybe we each take turns. Whoever repeats a compliment or can’t think of a new one first loses!”

“What are the stakes?”

“A kiss, of course.”

She looked so earnest, and somehow, in her presence, his prior concerns seemed so distant and foolish. “Of course,” he echoed. “Are there any other rules?”

“If I say something that makes you uncomfortable or makes you feel bad, you have to tell me. This is about making the other person feel good, not bad.”

“All right. But only if you agree to do the same.”

“Deal! Are you ready?”

“Shall I go first? You’ve gotten a bit of a head start.”

“Okay!” She settled into a more comfortable position, wiggling a little in excitement.

He took a breath, trying to find the words. There was so much about her that he found pleasant. Where to begin? “I find your size appealing.”

“What?” She laughed and his ears drooped.

“Was that...poorly phrased?”

Still smiling—at least she didn’t seem hurt or offended—she said, “I believe that compliment requires some elaboration to count.”

“Ah. I see.” His ears flexed. “You are small, and my observations have led me to conclude that small things are cute. Therefore, you are cute. And I like that.”

Her smile went wide. “I think you’re cute too.”

His cheeks flushed. “I am not cute—“

“You can’t reject my compliments, Hordak. It’s part of the game.” She said it in a lilting sing-song, still smiling. 

“Hmph. In that case, you cannot simply echo what I just said—you must come up with your own compliments. That’s one of the rules, isn’t it?”

“True. To be more specific, the way your ears move in response to emotional stimuli is very cute.”

His ears twitched at that, and he silently cursed them. “Your hair is very soft, and I like the color.”

“I like the patterns on your skin. They look almost like fractals, and I find them very appealing.”

His ears folded back. “The depigmentation is a result of my defect.”

“Oh. I’m sorry—would you prefer if I not comment on that?”

He considered that. He looked down and put his hands behind his back, one hand wrapped around the opposite wrist. “I’m not certain. I do not enjoy being reminded of it. Yet it is a part of me, whether I like it or not, and it is...reassuring that you don’t find it repugnant.”

“Nothing about you is repugnant.”

“You’ve already said your compliment this turn.”

“That wasn’t a compliment. A compliment is meant to make you feel good about yourself. Saying ‘you aren’t repugnant’ is, at best, a neutral statement.”

“Oh.” He decided not to point out that knowing she didn’t find him repugnant did make him feel better about himself. “Well.” He cleared his throat. “I suppose....” He looked down at his chest, one ear lifting quizzically. “Fractals?”

“Mmh-hmmm. Look!” A strand of hair traced along the pale skin that blotched his chest and abdomen. The sensation caused his abdominal muscles to clench, and the skin to prickle. He swallowed, smoothing back his crest reflexively when he felt the subtle tingle at the base of his hair follicles. 

He caught and held the thread of hair before it could begin exploring his back and shoulders. “I will take your word for it. I believe it’s my turn to pay you a compliment?”

“Oh, right!”

He lifted his chin. “I enjoy watching you create your robots. You make each of them unique, and you craft them with such care. It is...a wonder to behold.”

She smiled so broadly the corners of her eyes crinkled, and his hearts seemed to flutter. “You don’t think it’s weird?” she asked, gliding toward him. “That I treat them like people?”

“I am...happy that you care so deeply about the things you make.”

A soft flush of color touched her cheeks, and her hair seemed fluffier. “You are extremely intelligent, and I enjoy being able to discuss our shared interests.” She was closer now, close enough to touch. He brought his hand up, as if to cup her cheek, but he only held it alongside her face, leaving her to decide if she wanted to make contact or not. 

“You are the most brilliant being I have ever known,” he murmured.

“Oh.” She sounded breathless.

It wasn’t his turn, but her eyes had gone wide, and something welled up inside him. He spoke before shame or embarrassment could overcome him. “You are a star. Brilliant. Vibrant. Shining. And I am helpless to resist your gravity.”

She surged upwards, lifted on her hair. Without a word, she caught his face between her hands and kissed him. Her mouth was warm against his, her lips soft. She pulled back just far enough to say, “You win.”

He held her around the waist, searching her features. “What?”

“Our game. I forfeit.” She ran her fingers through his hair, and he couldn’t help it—his head tilted back, a soft chirp escaping him. 

“I had—“ He grit his teeth, silencing a moan. ( _What was she doing to him?_!) “—I had forgotten our game,” he confessed. 

“That’s okay.“ Her hair caught him around the waist and the back of his knees. Her hair bent his knees and lowered both of them to the bed. He found himself on his back, with Entrapta sitting on his thighs. “I would like to try a different cuddling technique, but it involves more physical contact. Would you be willing to try it?”

He swallowed. “Describe it.”

“Oh, of course! I’d like to lay on top of you. I would place one thigh between yours. The other would rest along the outside of your leg. Our stomachs would be touching and I would lay my head right here.” She touched his sternum. “I would like to listen to your heart.”

“Hearts.”

“You have two?” He nodded. “Oooh. Fascinating! I wonder what your circulatory system is like!”

“I’ve performed a few dissections on my failed clones. I will show you my notes.”

“I’d like that.” She smiled at him. “So? Can I try the new cuddling position?”

He found himself nodding, though he knew he shouldn’t. She smiled, shifting to assume the position she’d described. He inhaled, feeling something inside him clench as her thigh slid between his and her hands skimmed over his chest. She laid her head on his chest, and her arms rested loosely on his shoulders. She sighed, and he felt the tension go out of her body. She was so small, compared to him, and she was a pleasant weight atop him, comfortable and reassuring. 

“May I put a hand on your back?”

“Yeah! Actually.” She looked up at him, despite the awkward angle. “If you want...you could put your hand under my shirt. But only if you want.”

He hesitated. “Would you like that?”

“I believe I would, if that’s a factor in your decision.”

She readjusted herself, shutting her eyes and pressing her ear to his chest. “This is nice,” she said, “Your heartbeat is so different from mine. It’s like an echo—two big beats, two small, nearly on top of each other! Is one heart larger than the other?”

“They’re roughly the same size,” he said, slowly lowering his hand to her lower back. “Generally speaking, one heart pumps blood to the muscular system. The other pumps blood to the organs and brain. They operate independently of each other. In...” He took a breath. “In a healthy specimen, it should optimize the response to stressful stimuli.” And would not result in occasional fainting. 

She hummed in response. “Fascinating. You’ll really share your notes with me?”

“Naturally. You are my lab partner.”

She made a happy sound, and he smiled a little, releasing any lingering bitterness about his defect. With her pressed against him like this, it just didn’t seem to matter. Feeling bold, he shifted his hand, sliding it under her shirt. Her skin was warm, nearly hot against his hand. She shuddered slightly.

“I like the texture of your skin,” she said into his chest. “It makes me feel shivery.”

“Shivery?”

She nodded, eyes still closed. “Yeah. Sometimes, you just...shiver. Because something feels nice or sounds nice.”

“So this is a good thing?”

“Mmmmh-hmmm. Very good.”

He stroked his thumb along the bumps of her spine and was rewarded with another little shudder. His features relaxed into a soft smile. “I see.” Her fingers traced idle patterns on his shoulders and neck. He lifted his chin, giving her greater access. It did not make him feel ‘shivery’, but he did begin thrumming softly. 

“Oh. I should make a note....”

“A note?”

“For our log. Feeling you purr up close is very pleasant.”

“It is not a pu—. It’s pleasant?”

“Mmmmh-hmmm. Later. I’ll make a note. And maybe experiment. Right now, I don’t really want to move.”

The mention of their log briefly made him tense, his thrumming stuttering. Yet his worry did not linger. Though her touch set his hearts’ beating, nothing in him wanted to harm her. If anything, he found himself wanting to please her. He did not feel particularly beastial, despite Prime’s lingering warnings echoing in his head.

“I am glad. I don’t particularly want you to move either.”

“You’ll remind me later? About the note?”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

For a while, they just remained like that. Then, voice small, Entrapta asked, “You won’t...forget about me, will you? When you’re in Salineas?”

The question shocked him so much he stopped thrumming, and very nearly sat up so he could get a better look at her. In the end, though, he managed to maintain his prone position, not wanting to disturb her. “No. I will not forget you. Prime himself could not make me forget you. There’s certainly nothing in Salineas that would make me forget you either.”

“Oh. Okay.” She was quiet, but the restful quiet of before had been broken. Her body felt tense atop his, and he frowned in response. 

He ran his hand over her back. “May I touch the nape of your neck?”

“Sure.”

He raised his other hand to her neck, running his knuckles or the dull side of his claws against her hairline. Then he rested his palm there, cupping the back of her head in one large hand. Thin strands of her hair coiled around his hand, holding it there. “Entrapta, I sense that you are concerned about something. Will you share it with me?”

She was quiet, and he didn’t want to press. Then, softly, she began to speak. “It’s stupid. I know it is. But I can’t help thinking you could...I don’t know. Do better than...me.”

He snorted. “Better? Than you? There is no such person. And if there were, it wouldn’t matter because they wouldn’t be you.” He squeezed her briefly. “Have you already forgotten our game, Starlight? You think I don’t know your value? You think I would trade a star for a stone?” He huffed. “Not likely.” 

“Starlight?” She shifted to look at him.

“I am aware that...secondary names—“

“You mean a nickname?”

“If that’s what it is called, then yes. A ‘nickname’ is a sign of...affection, is it not?”

“Usually. Sometimes it’s a source of mockery but context is everything in these matters and—you called me ‘starlight’?”

“Is that an acceptable nickname?”

“Oh. Yes. I...I think I like it a lot, actually.” Her features broke into a smile. “I’ve never had a nickname before. Not one I liked, that is.” She brightened. “I should think of one for you!”

His mouth softened into a small smile. “A second name? And I thought having one was scandalous enough.”

She giggled. “You deserve a good name. It has to be right, though. I’ll let you know when I think of one.”

“I look forward to whatever you come up with.”

She settled against him once more, and the two of them fell asleep to the sound of his soft thrumming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hordak is a soft bastard. 
> 
> I also just want to thank everyone for their comments! For various reasons, I don’t necessarily reply to them, but I read each and every one, and they fill me with joy. Thank you so much for your support.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow is friendly, Hordak is definitely not, and Catra is...Catra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: mention of dissection and experimentation, mild dehumanizing language regarding Imp and Hordak’s failed clones, references to Prime and his purification ritual, Hordak being generally grumpy and unhappy being around anyone who isn’t Entrapta.

The journey to Salineas was a brief one. The She-Ra, Catra, the archer, and the young Queen arrived in the First Ones’ ship—which Entrapta greeted with a happy squeal of, ‘Darla!’—to escort him to Salineas. It was unnecessary, in his opinion. This was part of a peace treaty. A treaty he’d helped negotiate. He’d agreed to this willingly—happily, even. There was no need for them to act as guards. 

He resented the others’ presence, but reminded himself that he was heading into hostile territory. He would likely be facing worse. So he lifted his chin and bore their scrutiny—and Catra’s awkward, nervous glances—with dignity.

Entrapta, as always, helped. She seemed oblivious to any tension between the other passengers, intent on coaxing Darla into a system’s upgrade. Assisting her with this was at least comfortable and familiar. Emily often resisted the various patches and software updates they designed for her, no matter that Entrapta promised she’d never do anything to compromise Emily’s core personality codes. Hordak was beginning to suspect it was a game, much like Imp’s games of “keep away”.

As they worked, the archer—named ‘Bow’, naturally; whatever his opinion of the planet itself, Hordak had always been pleased by the sensible nature of their naming conventions—approached. He glanced between Entrapta and Hordak, hands behind his back and rocking a little on his toes. “Sooo, how’ve you two been?”

Hordak’s eyes narrowed. He looked at Entrapta, not sure how to answer. Was this an incredibly blatant attempt at gathering intel? To what end? They weren’t at war—

“We’re great!” Entrapta said, voice echoing from inside the access panel she was currently half-buried in. “I’m so happy to have so many friends at home now! And it’s been nice being able to get to know Hordak better now that he’s not trying to conquer the world. I have so much new data to analyze and process!”

Bow looked between them again, a hesitant smile making its way to his face. “That’s. Great! I’m. Glad to hear it.” He looked up at Hordak, who crossed his arms and looked him over, trying to guess the meaning of this conversation. “Yep! Just. Great,” Bow squeaked. 

“Oh!” She abruptly popped out of the access panel. “Hordak? Did you transfer your notes? You know, on the dissected clones?”

Bow went stiff and straight. “Dissected...?”

“Clones?” The She-Ra asked, standing.

Seeing their expressions, he huffed. “They were failed experiments. Incompatible with life outside their vitrine. Technically, they never attained consciousness.” As far as he knew, at least. Their brainwaves had never been especially complex. “And yes, I transferred the data to you.”

“Thanks! Oooh! What’s that?” She scurried deeper into the access panel. 

That left him alone with the others. He glanced at them, then resumed monitoring the system update. “So...what about you?” Bow asked.

Hordak did not look up from the data pad. “What ‘about me’?”

“Uh. How are you? Doing okay? Settling in?”

“Conquered any villages?” the queen asked.

His ears folded back. “No, but I’m certain I can arrange something if you’re already bored with peace.”

Bow stared at him, then laughed uneasily. “Ha! That’s a joke! Heh. No offense, but uh, I never really thought you’d have a sense of humor.”

“I don’t.” Hordak eyed the archer, then turned back to the control panel. “Darla, patch into Entrapta’s communicator. I am in need of intelligent conversation.”

“Hey! I’m intelligent.” He sounded almost hurt. 

Hordak ignored his outburst. “Entrapta? Can you hear me?”

“Oh, yes! So the updates to Darla’s communication systems worked?”

“It would appear so. How do the internals look?”

“Good! Though....”

“What is it?”

“Well, I was thinking. The exterior sensors could use some tweaking....”

Bow made a choking sound. Still ignoring him, Hordak frowned. “What’s the rating on your tether?” She rattled off a number. His frown deepened. “That’s designed for spacewalks and likely won’t stand up to the wind-resistance of atmospheric flight. Wait until we land to work on the exterior.”

“If I—“

“Is it an urgent repair?”

“No,” she admitted, and he crossed his arms, mouth briefly twitching into a small smile.

“There is plenty of tech for you to ‘tweak’ in here, Starlight. Please refrain from venturing outside the cabin unless the matter becomes urgent.”

At the rear of the cabin, he heard Catra ask no one, “‘Starlight?’” He refused to blush in their presence, choosing to ignore them and focus on Entrapta’s response. 

“Okay,” she said on a sigh, though he could hear the smile in her voice. “But you owe me!”

He chuckled. “I’m certain you will have something dangerous and impractical for us to do when I return from Salineas, though I insist we at least take proper safety precautions beforehand.”

“You’re no fun—oh.”

His smile disappeared abruptly. “Entrapta? What is it?” She didn’t respond. “Entrapta? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah! I’m still here! I think we might have a stowaway. I couldn’t catch him, though.”

“A stow—“ Then he huffed. He knew exactly two people that were comfortable using the vents and service corridors as a means to navigate. “Hmmph. He’ll grow bored now that he’s been discovered, so long as you don’t chase him.”

“Be prepared—it looks like he’s headed your way.” She giggled, and he sighed. From the rear of the cabin, Adora walked toward him. 

“That’s to be expected. Are we ready to begin the next stage of the update?”

“Yep! Ready when you are!”

“Initiating installation. Prepare for radio silence in three. Two. One.”

The subtle buzz that heralded an open connection cut out. Only then did he direct his attention to the Etherians at his elbows. “A stowaway?” Adora asked, hand on her vambrace. 

“Nothing to be concerned with.”

“No offense, but that’s not exactly reassuring,” Bow said.

His ears twitched when he heard clicking from the vents above. “It’s just—“

Imp dropped out of the vent with a screech, wings fluttering. The Etherians—aside from Catra—screamed. “What is that thing!?” Bow asked, reaching for his quiver. Thankfully, Adora seemed too startled to become She-Ra.

Imp, obviously delighted by the chaos, landed on Hordak’s shoulders and spread his wings wide, preening. Hordak just shook his head, looking at the little clone-hybrid. “You were to remain in Dryl with Kadroh.” Despite his words, he reached up to scratch the nape of Imp’s neck. Impervious to chastisement, Imp just chittered happily and settled more comfortably on his shoulders.

Adora blinked. “Wait—is that Imp?” 

Seeing her, Imp chirped happily and jumped to her shoulder. “[Hey, Adora],” he said, in Catra’s voice. 

She giggled. “Aw, hi, little guy! I‘ve been worried about you.”

Catra stepped forward. “Tch. Of course you’d make friends with Hordak’s spy—“

“[CATRA!]” he screamed in Shadow Weaver’s voice, causing her to shudder. 

Curious, Bow approached, one hand lifted as if to pet him. “He’s kind of cute. Is he friendly?”

“Not even slightly,” Hordak said, at the same time Catra replied, “Fuck no.” They shared a look, both their ears folded back, then Catra huffed and turned away. 

As if to contradict them, Adora happily scratched the top of his head, earning a happy chirr. Hordak sighed. “Though he can be bribed with food, if you haven’t given him any prior reason to distrust you.” He said the latter with a look at Catra. 

Adora smiled. “I used to give him apple slices from my commissary allowance.”

“[apple]” he echoed, adding a questioning chirp at the end.

“Sorry, little guy. I don’t have anything for you right now.”

“[Useless!]” he said, using Hordak’s voice, before jumping back to Hordak. 

“Well. That seems a little harsh,” she said, only for Imp to, again, declare her ‘[Useless!]’ as he dug his claws into Hordak’s shoulders.

Shaking his head, Hordak returned his attention to the data pad, punching in a few codes when prompted. 

“So...what is he, anyway?” the young queen asked, joining Bow and Adora at the control panel.

His ears folded back as he regarded them, wondering why they were so intent on talking to him. He wished he could open a com-line to Entrapta; he could already feel himself growing irritated at their questions, their interest, and he wished for some kind of buffer. “His genetic makeup is not your concern.” An alert popped up on the pad, flashing bright red. He was almost grateful for it. “I have to go to the engine room and attend to this. Remain here.” He shooed Imp from his shoulder, earning an angry screech as he left to check the engines.

He growled softly when Catra fell into step behind him, though neither of them spoke as they walked to the engine room. Determined to ignore her, he began checking the affected systems. “Do you, uh...need any help?” she asked, lingering awkwardly in the doorway.

He studied her. Her arms were crossed and she wasn’t looking at him, instead fixing her gaze on the ground in front of her. His ears folded back, and he looked away with a huff.

There was much between them, though neither of them were the type to discuss such things. The past was past. Entrapta held no grudge against her, so it seemed he didn’t have much reason to cling to his anger, tempting though it was some days. Were he in a better mood, he probably wouldn’t have minded her presence. As it was, her company was unwanted and only wore at his already fraying patience. “No, Catra. I do not require help. Nor do I need to be guarded,” he snapped, bitterness slipping into his voice.

“Hey, I’m not—“ She groaned and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s not like that.”

The flashing on his data pad was growing more urgent. He turned away from her, tucking the pad away to make the necessary adjustments. She continued to watch him, fidgeting in the doorway. He knelt to make another adjustment, and she asked, “So, how _have_ you been, anyway?”

He paused to eye her, then returned to his work. “Why is that a concern of yours?”

“Did you forget I was on Prime’s ship too?”

His fingers fumbled the hexdriver, but he caught it and glared at her. “I fail to see the relevance.”

She glared back. “Oh, yeah. My bad for being worried you might be, I don’t know, traumatized or something. You’re obviously totally fine.”  He huffed, ears folded back. He didn’t respond for a while, checking the data pad and making minor adjustments as needed—aware of Catra’s gaze on him the entire time. She sighed. “Look, I...get it. Okay? We’ve both been through the...the slime torture—“

He choked. “Slime. Torture.”

“Well, what do you call it?” she demanded.

“The purification ritual.”

“Of course that’s what you’d call it. I don’t know what else I expected.” She rolled her eyes. “Can you just—be normal for a few minutes? I’m trying to be nice here.”

“That must be difficult for you.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not exactly making it easier.” She sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “What I’m trying to say is, if you ever need someone to talk to. I’m available. I guess.”

His ear twitched. He hadn’t expected that. “Why would I want to talk about that?”

She looked away. “It helps.”

He huffed, checking the data pad. The flashing red icon was gone and everything else seemed in order. “We’re done here,” he said.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help—“

He held up the pad. “With the update. There are no further adjustments to make.”

“Oh.” She shoved her hands into her pockets. They walked back to the cabin in silence. 

Just before they reached the door, he paused. “Your concern is...noted.” 

She muttered something under her breath, but she fell silent as soon as the door slid open. Imp had—somehow—stolen the archer’s quiver and was currently clinging to some pipes on the ceiling, throwing arrows at the three while they tried to knock him down. Adora had changed into She-Ra, trying to use her height to reach him, and the floor was littered in the remains of spent arrows, as well as a net, several puddles of water, a rope, and a few scorch marks. “What is going on in here?” he yelled, marching in. The She-Ra automatically snapped to attention before remembering herself.

“Uh,” she said.

“Well,” Bow said.

“It’s his fault,” the Queen said, looking decidedly unqueenlike when soaked in water. 

He speared Imp with a look, but he meekly flew to Hordak’s shoulders, chirping pathetically. He held his wing as if it was hurt, whining softly. Hordak sighed, taking the quiver of arrows when it was offered. He returned them to Bow. “This is why you will not be accompanying me to Salineas,” he told Imp. “Let me see your wing.” Imp whined, pulling it out of reach. Likely because he was faking for sympathy. “Imp.”

Entrapta dropped down from the vent, her mask down. “Oh, what’d I miss?! It looks like you guys had fun!” Seeing Imp, she pushed her mask up and held out her arms. “Aw, were they playing too rough?“

Realizing he could get more sympathy from Entrapta, Imp blew a raspberry at Hordak before flying into her arms, cuddling close and chirping pathetically. “Poor little guy. Let’s get you fixed up!”

Hordak gave Imp a disgusted look, but didn’t object when Entrapta made a show of checking Imp’s wing—indeed, perfectly fine—finishing her exam by kissing her fingertips and bringing them to his wingtip for a kiss by-proxy. “There!” she declared, “All better!”

Catra smirked and leaned close. “Did she pull that move on you after the last battle?”

His ears flexed, and his cheeks grew hot. He crossed his arms and glared at her, though that didn’t wipe the smirk from her face. Thankfully, her voice was pitched too low to carry. 

He exhaled slowly, walking away from her without another word. “You shouldn’t encourage him,” he said as he came to stand beside Entrapta. “He’s not actually a child, though I admit his neoteny is a curiosity.” A fortuitous one, as it had likely saved his life on multiple occasions. Hordak’s soldiers had not always been the most savory of characters, but most were reluctant to harm a child. (And those that weren’t had a tendency to...disappear. A curiosity he’d declined to examine more closely.)

“Ooh—you don’t know why Imp is Imp?”

“I do not. He is...unique.” The only living result borne of his efforts to create a clone by patching his own faulty genome with bits and pieces of compatible Etherian animals. Both a success and a failure, all at once. “I considered running further tests, but....” He reached out to scratch Imp’s head. “I decided that could wait until he reached the natural end of his lifespan.”

“[Sentiment!]” Imp growled in Hordak’s own voice, sounding suitably disgusted. 

“Yes, you little cretin. I hope you’re pleased with yourself.” Imp gave a happy chirr. “Now go fetch some towels. You are going to help clean this up.”

“[Cretin!]”

“Do not argue with me. If you can’t behave yourself, then I cannot send you to stay with....” He sighed, pained by his next words. “‘Aunt Lonnie’ and your ‘Uncles’. Am I clear?” 

Imp responded to this with a hiss, but he did dart away. Whether or not he would actually return with the towels was yet to be determined. Hordak and Entrapta started to exchange notes, but he quickly became aware that the others were staring at him with wide eyes. Again. He glared at them. “I agreed to many things when I signed our treaty. I did not agree to be stared at like an animal in a menagerie. So I will ask this once; what. do. you. want?” He enunciated each word sharply, still glaring. 

Bow and the Queen blushed and looked away, but the She-Ra just kept smiling at him. This only caused his scowl to deepen, until Catra spoke up from the rear of the cabin. “Just wondering how Shadow Weaver managed to be worse at parenting than the Horde Lord himself.”

He sputtered, so thrown by that statement he wasn’t even sure how to reply. “Imp is not a child! He’s—“ He growled. “Are we done?” he asked Entrapta.

“I think so.” 

“Good. Find me before we land. I’ve had enough of this,” he said, stalking out of the room—and making a special point to hiss at Catra as he left. 

She had the gall to wave at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Neoteny”, by the way, is just a term for the prepubescent traits an animal retains after reaching adulthood. Many domesticated animals display neoteny—cats’ playfulness and their vocalizations, for example. In this case, I’m using it to refer to Imp’s general child-like appearance.
> 
> (It’s also the most scientific way possible to say something is adorable, really.)


	8. Interlude I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora learns a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: References to the slime torture, Horde-typical ableist, ableist language.

They landed smoothly in Salineas. Bow and Glimmer got off the ship first, happy to greet Mermista and Seahawk. Adora stayed with Catra onboard, both of them waiting for Hordak and Entrapta to reappear.

Adora smiled, lacing her fingers with Catra’s. “You want to check out the beaches before we leave?” she asked. “Glimmer and Mermista have political stuff to work out, and I know Bow and Seahawk will probably run off for a boy’s night—so we should have some time to ourselves.”

Catra glanced at her and gave a short nod. “Sure.”

Adora furrowed her brows, but before she could ask if Catra was okay, Hordak and Entrapta reappeared. It was odd to see her clinging to his arm, and odder still to see the soft expression on his face when he looked at her. Thought that softness disappeared as soon as he caught sight of them, once again buried by a scowl. If Entrapta noticed, she didn’t seem to care. She continued to babble about a portal system or something as both walked down the ramp. Catra and Adora followed a moment later.

On the ground, Hordak pulled free of Entrapta to cross his arms, regarding Mermista with a blank expression. “I would like to begin by surveying the area. Do you have a foreperson you’d like me to coordinate with? Builders?”

“Not so fast,” she said, hands on her hips. “Lose the armor.”

His spine went straight and stiff. “Excuse me?” 

She groaned, as if appalled by his obliviousness. “Look, if you’re not here to, like, conquer anything, then you obviously don’t need it, do you?”

Entrapta stepped forward, smiling. “He does, though,” she said helpfully. “And he’s not going to do anything to break the treaty.”

Mermista blew a stray strand of hair out of her face, then said, “Listen, Geek Princess—“

Hordak stepped in front of Entrapta, as if shielding her. “What did you just say?”

Mermista gave him a bored look. “Wow, with ears like that, you’d think you‘d be able to, like, hear better.”

Adora was already transforming into She-Ra as she stepped between them. “Okay,” she said, smiling uneasily. She pressed one hand to Hordak’s chest. The other she held palm-out to stop Mermista from getting closer. “Why don’t we all just. Take a deep breath.” She demonstrated. “And settle down?”

Hordak continued to glare at Mermista, but Mermista just rolled her eyes. “This is, like, super simple. Armor. Off. Got it?” She raised her voice and enunciated each word, as if she truly thought Hordak was hard of hearing. 

His ears pulled back, and if his body language was anything like Catra’s, that wasn’t a good sign. Trying to keep the peace, Adora looked between them. “Um...Hordak? Would you mind...not wearing the armor?”

“Yes,” he snapped, “I mind!”

“Okay.” Adora sighed. “Mermista—?”

“He doesn’t need it! Unless, he’s not actually here just to rebuild.” She eyed him suspiciously.

“Fine.” Hordak drew back. “Then we will return to Dryl.”

Adora blinked. “You. You’d break the treaty over this?”

His features were drawn into a scowl. “I did not come here to be humiliated.”

“It’s just armor!” Mermista said.

He sneered, but Entrapta popped up between them. “Can we talk in private?” she asked, looking at Hordak and Adora. “Just the three of us?”

Hordak huffed.“Fine.” He marched back into the ship. Entrapta grinned at Adora before bounding after him. Bow, Glimmer, and Catra made as if to follow, but Adora motioned them back.

“I’ve got this,” she said. She eyed Mermista and dropped her voice. “Why don’t you guys try to settle things out here?” With one last reassuring wave, she too stepped back onboard. 

Inside, Hordak paced, his ears drawn back and his hands clenched tight. Every bit of his body language screamed, ‘do not approach’, but Entrapta seemed completely unaware of the unspoken warning in his posture and expression. Adora squeaked and reached for her, too late. “Entrapta!” she hissed, but Entrapta had already stopped directly in Hordak’s path. He drew up short, and her hair coiled loosely around his limbs.

“I am not taking off my armor,” he snapped, towering over her. 

“I know!” She, for whatever reason, drew even closer to him. The skin on the back of Adora’s neck prickled, but Entrapta seemed heedless to any danger. She just stood up on her hair and reached for him. He glared at her hand.

“No.” His voice was firm, undercut by a low growl. “Not. Now.”

Only then did she back off a little, giving him more space. “Okay, fair enough. You don’t want to break the treaty, though, right?”

“I am breaking nothing!” He threw his arms out, starting to pace again, but Entrapta only darted to the side and stepped in front of him again, still holding him loosely with her hair. “She is making up new rules!” he snarled, nearly nose to nasal ridge with her. “I did not agree to that!”

“I know! I know. It’s not fair. But, now this is important, you don’t want to break the treaty, do you?” she asked with careful emphasis. “Because we could just steal Darla and ride off into space right now. That is an option, if you’d rather do that.”

He blinked, and Adora’s eyes widened. She took a step back, wondering if she could get out of the ship and back to the others without being noticed. A rope of hair coiled around her wrist, squeezing. Was that a threat? Or reassurance? Adora watched them both closely, then swallowing, chose to trust Entrapta. She could only hope she knew what she was doing.

“Hordak?” 

He exhaled slowly, and Adora’s eyes widened. Anger lingered in the growl that undercut his voice, but she could see him trying to force it back to give Entrapta a logical answer. “I do not want to break the treaty. I want to help rebuild what destruction Horde Prime and...” Another slow exhale. “And I have caused. But I will not subject myself to humiliation in order to salve her pride.” 

“Great!” Entrapta darted away from him, now focusing on Adora. “Adora, if we show you why Hordak needs his armor, will you talk to Mermista?”

Adora, frozen, looked between them. Entrapta seemed earnest and eager. Hordak was harder to read. He was still scowling, and he’d crossed his arms, studying Adora as carefully as she studied him. That strange, subtle otherness within her—the thing that made her She-Ra—stirred. There was more here, something she couldn’t yet see, but she could sense it. “Yes,” she said slowly, nodding. 

Entrapta turned back to him. “Hordak? Will you show her?”

His ears drew back. “You trust her?” His voice was oddly soft. It was an honest question, with no hint of accusation or his earlier rage. He sounded hesitant, unsure of himself. 

Entrapta gave it a moment of thought. “I do.”

Hordak nodded—not in agreement. Not yet. He folded his hands behind his back and lowered his gaze, thinking. Just as Adora began to feel antsy about the extended quiet, he speared her with a look. “You will speak of this to no one. Agreed?”

“Agreed.” She nodded. The weight of the word settled heavily in her chest. 

“Entrapta, will you assist me?”

“Of course!”

He brought his hand to his sternum, and for the first time, she truly took note of the crystal at his throat. It clashed with his color scheme, a better match to Entrapta’s colors than to his, but even more jarring was the subtle whisper of meaning she caught when she saw the lettering on its surface.

‘LUVD.’

She glanced at Entrapta, swallowing as she truly began to understand what she was seeing. 

Hordak popped the chip out of his armor, and Entrapta’s hair went to work, pulling the metal exoskeleton free of his body and disconnecting it from several ports that Adora knew the other clones did not have. She didn’t miss the way a stray rope of hair caressed his cheek, though the touch lasted only a moment. 

When she was finished, Entrapta remained at his side, one hand on his lower back to offer support. With the armor off, Adora could now see his withered arms, his discolored skin, and worst of all, the holes in his forearms. “You’re sick,” she said, stepping forward.

“Something like that,” Entrapta replied. “It’s more like a disability.”

“Defect,” he corrected. His voice was rough and angry, but under the anger, Adora could see the shame.

The part of her that was Shadow Weaver’s ward knew that this knowledge could be used against him, understood that this was a vulnerability that could be exploited. She carefully set that line of thinking aside, and instead reached for the part of herself that had healed Catra, that had cast out Prime and put him to rest. She pressed her hand to Hordak’s chest, and he jolted, but didn’t pull away. Her power washed through him...but nothing changed. Whatever kind of illness or disability this was, her powers had no effect. But she could feel the shadow it cast on his soul, and the places where that shadow had lifted and loosened, if only slightly. Slowly but surely, he was healing, in mind if not in body. 

She drew away. Before she could speak, Entrapta was in front of her, hair tugging on her hands. “What was that? What did you do? Can you do it again? Will you show me!?”

Adora blinked. “Uh.” She looked at Hordak, and he cleared his throat, gently laying a hand on Entrapta’s shoulder. 

“Oh. Whoops.” She smiled sheepishly. “You can show me later,” Entrapta said, lowering her voice conspiratorially. 

“Have you seen enough, She-Ra?”

She gave a stiff nod. “Yes. I’ll...” She lifted her chin, straightening her spine. “I’ll speak to Mermista. You can put your armor back on.”

He nodded gruffly. It was likely the closest thing she’d get to a thank you.

-

Mermista huffed and complained, but in the end, she conceded the point. From there, they all went their separate ways. Seahawk, as predicted, dragged Bow off to whatever seedy tavern was his preferred hangout at the moment. Mermista and Glimmer left to meet with various advisors and nobles, discussing something that Adora honestly hadn’t found interesting enough to remember. Hordak left to speak to Salineas’ engineers, while Entrapta and Imp trailed behind, exploring the ruins of Salineas. 

Which left Catra and Adora to themselves, with no assigned job, no responsibilities. They grinned at each other and raced to the beach, throwing stray elbows and flinging obstacles in each others’ path as they ran. Together, they collapsed on the beach, basking in the warmth of the sand beneath them and the sun overhead. Gulls called, and Adora inhaled deeply, savoring the scent of the sea. They stripped down to their underclothes to swim, and later, when they kissed, Adora could taste salt on Catra’s lips, her jaw, her neck. 

After the sun dipped behind the horizon, they built a small fire and huddled together on the beach. Catra disappeared for a while, reappearing with a brown bottle she refused to admit was stolen, but she did admit that she wasn’t sure what kind of alcohol it contained. They traded it back and forth regardless. 

“Your jus’ tryna get me drunk,” Adora said, pushing the bottle away when she’d attained a pleasant buzz.

“Hmph. Sure. ‘Trying’.”

“Pssshaw.” Adora waved her off. “I’m not drunk! That’s ridiculous. You’re—you’re ridiculous.” She giggled. 

Catra shook her head, but she set the bottle aside and pulled Adora close, looping an arm over her shoulders. The fire crackled and the waves crashed, and Adora was sure she could never love someone as deeply as she loved Catra in that moment. 

So, naturally, something had to spoil it. 

Catra squinted, staring at a distant cliff. “Is that...Hordak and Entrapta?”

No longer feeling quite as pleasantly buzzed, Adora asked, “Oh, no—are they trying to steal the spaceship?”

“What? No. They’re just— Wait. Why was that your first guess?”

“Uh. It might’ve come up when I was talking to them earlier.”

Catra snorted. “I’m surprised they haven’t. I would’ve, in their shoes.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“I would if you’d agreed to come with me.” They exchanged a look, smiling softly. Then Catra looked away, shaking her head. “I wonder why he’s bothering with all this, you know?” She gestured to Salineas. “He and Entrapta could just _leave_. They wouldn’t even have to steal our spaceship—those two could definitely build their own, if they wanted.”

“Huh. I guess I never thought about it. It just seemed natural to me. That he’d want to fix things.”

“Hmmph. You would think that.” No matter how she tried to make that sound like an insult, Adora could hear the fondness in her voice. She cuddled closer, and Catra pressed a kiss to the side of her head. For a while, they were quiet. The fire dimmed and Catra got up to add more wood, poking it with a stick. She looked back at the high cliff, where Hordak and Entrapta’s silhouettes were still visible. Her ears folded back and her brows drew down. Her mouth pressed into a thin line.

Adora leaned forward. “What’s on your mind?”

Catra huffed and looked away from them, ears still folded back. “Is it weird that I’m kind of...worried about him?”

“Who, Hordak?”

Catra nodded. “Yeah. It’s just....” She dropped to the sand with a huff, pulling her knees up to her chest. “On Prime’s ship....” Her features darkened, and she shook her head. “I told you about the slime pit, right?”

“Yeah.”

“He literally asked.... He knelt in front of Prime, and he asked to be ‘purified’.” She rested her chin on her knees. “Because I reminded him that he had a name. He asked Prime to torture him because I reminded him he was a _person_. There’s no way you can just be okay after something like that, right?” She exhaled shakily, and Adora moved close, sensing that this wasn’t just about Hordak. She threw her arm over Catra’s shoulders, pulling her in. 

“I think he’s doing pretty okay,” she said, “He’s healing. Getting better day by day.” She rested her chin on Catra’s shoulder. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think Entrapta’s keeping an eye on him. I mean—they’re out stargazing! That’s actually kind of sweet.”

Catra snorted. “Only because you can’t hear them. ‘Entrapta,’” she pitched her voice comically low. “‘Would you like to know the chemical makeup of that star cluster there?’ ‘Oh, Hordak, you don’t have to tell me—I already know everything!’”

Adora snorted, ruffling Catra’s hair. “Stop it! They are not saying that.”

“Wanna find out?”

“We are not spying on Hordak and Entrapta.”

“Ugh. When did you get so boring?”

“Boring, huh?”

Adora kissed her, and they both soon forgot about Hordak and Entrapta entirely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof. Not sure I have a handle on Catra and Adora. My apologies.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seahawk shares his expertise with Hordak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: chronic pain, disability, Sea Hawk being Sea Hawk.

Hordak was, generally, not inclined toward murder. He was not a sadistic man, and despite everything, he generally preferred not to kill anyone if it wasn’t strictly necessary. It just seemed so wasteful. 

However, the man known as ‘Sea Hawk’ was sorely tempting him to violence. 

Hordak exhaled slowly, not looking up from the plans laid out on the table before him. “Do you have something else you could be doing?”

“No! My lady love, the beautiful, the unparalleled—“ Hordak shut his eyes, reminding himself that killing the man for simply speaking was not logical or productive. “—Princess of the Seas has tasked me—her stoic hero, her proud warrior, her brave champion—“ Hordak stared at him, slowly coming to believe that the pirate didn’t actually understand the meaning of most of those words. “—with keeping an eye on you.”

Ah. Perhaps Mermista also wanted him dead, then. And, should Hordak oblige her, she would have a solid claim against him. Well, he certainly had no intention of providing her the satisfaction of killing two birds with one stone. “I see. Have you considered doing so unobtrusively?”

“Hmm? Unobtrusively?”

“From a distance. Where I cannot see you. Or hear you.”

“But then I wouldn’t be able to see or hear you, and that would hardly serve my lady love, now would it?”

Hordak exhaled slowly. “I am sure you could figure something out.”

“Oh, yes. I am very clever.” The man stroked his mustache contemplatively. “Too clever for you, former-Lord Hordak!” He thrust a finger at him. Hordak looked from the finger pointed at his chest then to the man, his ears drawn back. “I see what you’re doing! You’re trying to distract me! So you can enact your evil plan—“ Hordak cocked his head. “—under our very noses! But you did not count on me, the irrepressible, irresistible—“ He waggled his eyebrows, and Hordak felt that he had, somehow, lost track of the conversation. “—and irreplaceable Sea Hawk!” He ended this speech with his chin lifted and his chest puffed, one hand pressed to his sternum.

Hordak just shook his head and returned to the paperwork spread before him. “I did not realize building a desalination plant so your inland villages will have water in times of drought qualified as ‘evil’.”

Sea Hawk dropped the pose and leaned close, studying him. Hordak leaned away. “Oh. Oh, I see what’s going on here....” Sea Hawk nodded to himself, smiling smugly. “You have been seduced to the side of good by my charm and good looks!”

What.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of!” the pirate assured him, “You are not the first!” The first what? “Alas, ‘tis not to be—the incomparable Princess Mermista has already captured my heart! But we can be friends!” He smiled earnestly, holding out his hand.

Hordak looked at him and at the offered hand. He turned away and gathered his data pad, leaving the tent they’d erected to serve as a small base of operations in the middle of the building site. Sea Hawk followed him, not at all put out by Hordak’s rejection. “Where are we going, friend?”

Hordak growled quietly, trying to convince himself that this was, somehow, an improvement. 

-

Hordak winced as the data pad began to ring, signaling an incoming call. His ears twitched and he reached up to rub his aching shoulder. “Answer call,” he said, still looking out over the job site. 

“Hi, Hordak!”

He couldn’t help but smile, hearing her voice. “Hello—“

“Hello, Entrapta!” The pirate shoved his way in front of the data pad’s camera. Hordak glared at him, ears pulled down. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m okay. I was just calling to talk to Hordak.”

“Oh. You were, were you?” He gave Hordak what seemed to be a conspiratorial look. “Has he told you about his heroic sacrifice?”

What.

“What?”

“Oh, yes! It was magnificent to see! He caught a steel girder as it was falling—saved fifty—no, one hundred orphans!”

Entrapta blinked, while Hordak sighed deeply. “What were one hundred orphans doing on a construction site?” she asked.

“Uh—“

Hordak plucked the data pad from the table, glaring at Sea Hawk. “He is lying, though I am not sure to what end. It was not a girder! Just a small beam—and no one but us and a handful of workers were at any risk. And I didn’t catch it—I supported it until everyone was clear. It was hardly heroic, let alone a sacrifice.” He huffed, shaking his head. “Tell me about—“

“Are you okay? Have you been to a healer?”

“I am fine. My shoulder is sore, but—“

“Hordak!”

“I am fine,” he reiterated.

“Really?”

“I would not lie to you.” Her mouth pursed. He cocked his head. “You don’t believe me?”

She blew a gust of air out of her mouth, causing her bangs to flutter. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. I just...you say you’re fine a lot. Even when I know you’re not fine. And I’m not there, so I can’t be sure you’re actually taking care of yourself. You’re really okay? Really?”

He nodded slowly. “I am...” He considered his words carefully, making sure he was honest. “...well. My shoulder is sore but not alarmingly so. If it worsens, I will take care of it.” He was not going to see a healer, but he could handle it himself. “Is that satisfactory?”

“I guess.”

He sighed. “If you call tonight, I will show you my shoulder. Is that acceptable?”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “Okay. How’s the rest of your day been?”

“Uneventful. How is your current project progressing?” he asked slyly.

“Still a secret!” she teased, “But it’s going very well. I anticipate that I will be prepared to show you when you return.”

“I cannot convince you to share your research?”

“Nope!”

He huffed, a subtle smile tugging at his mouth. “Disappointing,” he said. “I suppose I will have to learn to be patient.”

They chatted for a little longer—occasionally interrupted by Sea Hawk—but Hordak was soon drawn away from the conversation by a few of the builders. “My apologies, Starlight. This seems urgent. I will speak with you later.”

“Bye!” she said, “I’ll call tonight!”

“I look forward to it.”

He walked with the builders out to the site of concern, listening as they described the problem. He offered a few possible solutions, and they huddled together to discuss them. It was clear to him they didn’t quite trust him, but they were more comfortable seeking him out now. When they’d settled on a satisfactory solution, they dispersed and he headed back to the central tent, trailed by Sea Hawk. 

Normally, Hordak did not initiate conversation with the man, but he found himself compelled to say, firmly, “Do not lie to Entrapta. I do not know what you were trying to achieve, nor do I care. You will not lie to her. Am I understood?”

He hissed when Sea Hawk took his arm. “I’m helping you!”

Hordak shook him off. “With what!?”

“Wooing Entrapta.”

“What?! I am not wooing—! She is—! There is no need to—! There will be no ‘wooing’! Particularly none that involves lying! And why would you attempt to help me ‘woo’ her if I was? Which I am not!”

Sea Hawk gave him a sorrowful look. “I know I broke your heart before—“

“You did no such thing. Why do you think that?”

“—but I am determined to be a good friend, and that also means being a good wingman!”

Hordak stared at him. “I do not understand you even slightly.”

“I know, my friend! The ways of the heart are complex and difficult to understand—but never fear! For, I, Sea Hawk—“ He lowered his voice and leaned close. “—vastly experienced in the ways of love—am here to guide you!”

Hordak exhaled slowly. Killing him would solve nothing, he reminded himself. Even if it would be temporarily satisfying. “Do you have something else you could be doing? Anything?”

“Oh, no. Don’t worry! You are my first priority!”

He smiled broadly, and Hordak wondered if there was a way to kill him without getting caught having done so.

-

“So, let me see that shoulder!”

He sighed and positioned the data pad’s camera so she could see. “It is fine, as I said.”

“Oh, take off your armor. I can’t get a good look while you’re wearing it.”

He set the data pad back on the table in front of him. He huffed, glancing at the locked door. “Must I?”

“Well. We could call a healer instead....”

He growled quietly. “Are you blackmailing me?”

“I don’t think that’s the definition of blackmail. Technically, I believe this would be a threat. In which case, yes—I’m threatening you with medical attention. Just let me look at it!”

He glanced at the door again. It was locked, and the door itself was made of sturdy wood. Mermista appeared to have emptied out a storage room to serve as his quarters. He imagined it was intended as an insult, but he’d have been far less comfortable in one of the absurdly opulent guest rooms. He’d have been especially uncomfortable if she’d given him a room with windows. “Fine,” he growled.

He shoved his trunk in front of the door first, then popped the chip out of his armor. It grew heavy on his limbs, and he became aware of the lingering ache in his muscles, a sure sign he’d been wearing it too long. Now, feeling stiff and sore all over—and trying to ignore the patches of heat rash that had formed in a few places where the metal rested against his skin—he set the armor aside and lifted the data pad so she could see his shoulder. “See? It’s fine.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “Hordak, have you been sleeping in your armor?”

His ears folded down. “I do not want to have this conversation.”

“It’s not designed for that,” she said, her words painfully gentle. “You need to take it off periodically—“

“I know that!”

“Okay. Have you at least been doing your exercises?”

He glared, ears drawn down. “I do not want to answer that question, nor do I need a lecture from you about managing a defect I have had for the majority of my life.”

Her hair curled anxiously around her face, and she drew her mask down. She cocked her head, bug-like lenses peering at him. “I know. But you don’t always prioritize your wellbeing when managing it.”

He couldn’t bring himself to face the data pad’s camera. Instead, he crossed his arms and glared at the floor. Even that small movement sent a wave of pain through his arms and down his back. Finally, after trying to gather his thoughts, he said, “Without my armor, I am...very vulnerable. I do not enjoy that.”

“Oh. That didn’t seem to be a problem in Dryl.”

“That is different.”

“What’s different? Maybe we can recreate those conditions, and then you’ll be comfortable taking it off.”

Despite himself, he chuckled softly. “That will not be possible.”

“Are you sure?”

“Quite.”

“You can’t lock the door?”

”I can. It seems...insufficient.”

She hummed quietly, one thin rope of hair cupping her chin as she considered that. “I’m not sure what to do in that case,” she said, and he could hear the disappointment in her voice.

“You do not need to be concerned with this. During the war, while in the field, I did much the same thing. It is uncomfortable, not life threatening.”

She lifted the mask. “I don’t like this.”

“There is nothing for you to like or dislike. You are not affected. Do not concern yourself with it.”

Her mouth pursed, and she leaned close to the camera. “So, wh at would you say if I stopped wearing gloves while I conducted my experiments?”

His ears twitched, and he cocked his head, eyes narrowed. “Why would you do that? That could be dangerous—“

“Or stopped using my welding mask when working on my robots?”

“That is definitely dangerous! Foolish! You could get hurt—perhaps permanently! Why would you ever—?”

“Why are you so concerned? You’re not affected, are you?”

His mouth dropped open. He inhaled sharply, hands balling into fists. “That is cheating.”

“You see my point? Don’t tell me not to worry about you.”

He growled. “I do not like it when you use my words against me.”

“Well, I don’t like it when you don’t take care of yourself.”

“I am—!” He huffed, irritated at her but mostly at himself. “Fine! You’ve made your point.” Still growling quietly, he said, “This changes nothing. I would rather suffer the side effects than go without. That is my decision, and you may dislike it all you want.” Her gaze was distant, and he realized with a sigh she wasn’t paying attention. “Entrapta—“

“I have an idea!”

He lifted his chin, intrigued. “Oh?” She grinned, nodding. When she described it, he chuckled, shaking his head a little. “I would not have thought of that. It is brilliant.”

“Can you do it?”

“Do not insult me; of course I can do it! Finding materials will be more challenging, though.”

“Can you scavenge anything from Prime’s towers?”

“Perhaps.” He looked down, ears back.

“Something wrong?”

“I am...unaccustomed to deploying stealth to achieve my ends. I am more used to simply taking whatever I require.”

“Oh, don’t worry—that’s the best part! If you just walk in like you know what you’re doing, most people don’t even question it. And if they do, just spout technobabble until they leave you alone!”

He cocked his head. “What if they understand the...’technobabbale’ and ask further questions?”

“Don’t worry. That’s only happened to me once.”

“What did you do?”

“We built a portal together.”

For a moment, jealousy flared. “Who—?!” Then she smiled at him and he understood. “You are teasing me.”

“Flirting. I believe this is, technically, flirting.”

“Ah.” He considered that for a moment. Looking at the ground, he admitted, “I’m afraid I am not adept with that kind of communication.”

“Don’t worry. I find your lack of artifice charming.”

He could feel the heat spreading across his cheeks. “I see.” He swallowed. “I have...materials to scavenge. I will speak to you later.”

“Tell me how it goes!” 

He assured her he would and shut off the communicator. He took a breath, trying to steady his heartbeat. How did she manage to do that, he wondered—knock him thoroughly off balance and yet leave him feeling as if...?

He touched his sternum, where the chip that powered his armor normally rested. He would have to find a way to show her his appreciation. Words alone would not be adequate. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sea Hawk, they’re married. They don’t need your help. ~~Besides, we all know Entrapta’s the one doing the wooing.~~


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta and Hordak discuss different forms of stimulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Frank discussion of sexual arousal and means of sexual stimulation/porn. Mentions of masturbation. Discussion of consent. Voyeurism...kind of. (Also, there is Sea Hawk, but he not involved in any of the former.)

It was easier to scavenge parts from Prime’s towers than Hordak thought it would be. They had to be deconstructed anyway, and he found himself separating out anything that could be repurposed in any case. It was a simple thing to set aside a few small components for his own project. As Entrapta said, it was surprisingly easy, and required no stealth at all. Sea Hawk never even asked what he was doing, even when Hordak began to tinker with the components right in front of him.

As he sorted through the parts, he found numerous pieces Entrapta would find interesting. Data chips of a style she’d likely never seen. Intricate mechanisms of a design she’d find satisfying to unlock and unravel. A few small pieces that he knew she would find ‘cute’. He set these aside and commandeered a crate to ship them. After he felt he’d gathered enough tech to keep her occupied for at least a little while, he labeled what he could and began neatly packing it for shipment.

Sea Hawk watched him. “Hmmm...you know, if we weren’t such good friends, I might find this very suspicious.”

Hordak was entirely unsure if that was a roundabout way of stating his suspicions or if he was just reiterating his confidence in their presumed ‘friendship’. Nor did he care to parse Sea Hawk’s intentions. “I’m sending these to Entrapta to—“

Sea Hawk leapt from his place at the drafting table to catch Hordak’s forearms in his hands. Pain shot up his arms. Hordak disguised a flinch by hissing at him and pulling away, his ears drawn back. Still, Sea Hawk pressed forward. Frowning, Hordak held a hand against his chest, holding him at arm’s length while he glared. “Oh, you are clever, aren’t you? You nearly had me fooled!”

“You are entirely incomprehensible.”

Sea Hawk shook a chastising finger at him. “No ‘wooing’, hmmm? And yet, here you are—sending her gifts! Tokens of your affections! Very clever! I nearly believed you were too heartbroken to ever love again, but I see now that all is not lost. Never fear! I will help you!” He grinned. “Tell me, what are you sending?”

Hordak cocked his head, one ear folded back. “These are not—“ He huffed. “These are artifacts that Entrapta will enjoy studying. They are not tokens of anything, nor are they gifts.”

“My friend, you are a terrible liar. These are obviously gifts!”

“I am given to understand that gifts are presented during special occasions.”

Sea Hawk’s grin was broad and knowing. “Oh, no. A gift can be given at any time! And a gift given without a specific reason? That is the most heartfelt gift of all.” He winked. “Were I not so infatuated with my dearest, my darling—the enchanting Princess Mermista—I might regret denying you so swiftly.”

Hordak nearly left the room on principle, but he had to admit there was at least a drop of truth in his ocean of nonsense. “A gift can simply be given without cause?” Sea Hawk nodded enthusiastically. G laring at him, Hordak slowly withdrew his hand, wanting to make sure the pirate would not try to touch him again. “I see. That does change things.”

He folded his arms behind his back, considering the crate. He had chosen items he knew she would enjoy working with. Things she would find interesting. However, it did not feel like a gift. If he intended it to serve as such, then it seemed...incomplete. 

Some part of him whispered a reminder that it did not need to be perfect. She would appreciate it regardless. Nevertheless, thinking of it as a gift inexplicably changed the framework. 

He dropped his gaze. A gift was meant to be at least somewhat sentimental, wasn’t it? A token of affection should demonstrate affection, and even he knew that the collection of tech—though something she would certainly appreciate and enjoy—was rather...cold. His ears folded back. Entrapta deserved a better gift than that. 

Unfortunately, he did need help if he was going to make this shipment of tech into a gift. He was not adept at expressing sentiment, and he wanted to get this right. Entrapta had done so much for him. She deserved a good gift. 

But he was absolutely not asking Sea Hawk for advice.

He didn’t have many people he would trust to ask, though. Ideally, he’d ask Entrapta, but that seemed inappropriate in this situation. He did know of one person that might be willing to help, however. She and Entrapta were friends, and as a bonus, she didn’t seem to have any trouble expressing affection. He looked to Sea Hawk, who grinned. “Yes, friend?”

“Do you know how to get in contact with Force C—that is, Princess Scorpia?”

-

Thankfully, the archer had apparently given all the princesses communicators at some point, and it was easy enough to connect to hers. Getting Scorpia to pick up was another matter.

“Ope! Wait! Don’t hang up! I’m here! Just. Having some trouble. Claws, you know?”

Hordak and Sea Hawk watched the display flip and turn as she fumbled the communicator. Finally, her face came into view. Upside down. “Princess Scorpia—“

She yelped and the communicator fumbled again. Hordak sighed, looking skyward. “Lord Hordak!” she said, picking up the communicator. Right side up, this time. “Hi! Uh. Didn’t, um. Didn’t expect to see you. And—is that Sea Hawk?”

“Hi, Scorpia!” 

She looked at both of them. “Excuse me. I just need to—“ She pinched a fleshy part of her arm. “Oh, yeah. Okay. Definitely awake. Um....” She studied them both. “Is everything okay? Blink twice if you need help.”

Hordak huffed. “I will not, but I do require your assistance.”

“I. Did not expect this, but...okay. Shoot!”

He cocked his head, trying to figure out what he was supposed to shoot and with what. The peace treaty explicitly forbade him from carrying any weapons. Sea Hawk interrupted his musings, stealing the data pad and showing her the crate of tech. “Hordak is send a gift to Entrapta!”

He had to bite back his instinctive denial. For once, Sea Hawk’s assessment was—

“He is trying to woo her! He has confided to me—“

With a growl, he snatched the data pad back. “I told you—there is no ‘wooing’! And I have confided nothing. Stop lying.” Shaking his head, he deliberately wiped the irritation from his features and turned back to Scorpia. “I have several pieces of tech to send to Entrapta. Sea Hawk has observed that this could be considered a ‘gift’, but I find it lacks...feeling. You are Entrapta’s friend. She speaks highly of you, and you are known to be adept at expressing affection. Would you be willing to assist me?” She was staring at him, her eyes gone wide and watery. “Princess? Are you well?” 

“Mm-hmm. Just. A little emotional. She speaks highly of me? And you’re sending her a gift?”

He gave a firm nod. “Yes. She has been...kind to me. Inordinately so. I wish to reciprocate her kindness and demonstrate my gratitude. Are you willing?”

She nodded, eyes still a little watery. “Of course! Show me what you’re sending.”

“It is Horde tech I’ve harvested from Prime’s towers.”

“Oh, she’ll love that—did you find anything small? She likes small things.”

“Yes. There are several pieces that I believe she will consider ‘cute’, though I am unsure. Her standard is somewhat inconsistent.” His ears flexed, but thankfully, he didn’t blush. 

“Okay, that’s good. She’ll like that. What else?”

The tips of his ears drooped. “That is it. As I said, it is somewhat...cold.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay, I see what you mean. Hmmm.” She pressed a claw to her mouth, brows furrowed as she considered what he’d said. “She’s mentioned that she likes the sound of your voice.” He called upon all his time in the Galactic Horde to keep his expression neutral. “And she’s always listening to recordings. Maybe you could—“

Sea Hawk made an ungodly sound, and Hordak turned, searching for the source of his pain. Were they under attack? Then Sea Hawk grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands, pulling him down until they were eye to eye. The data pad was crushed between them. Faintly, he could hear Scorpia asking what was wrong, but Sea Hawk commanded all his attention at the moment. “YOU MUST SING FOR HER!”

What.

“I—No. Absolutely not.” He shoved Sea Hawk off of him, glaring. 

Sea Hawk would not be dissuaded. “Yes! A song is the perfect way to express your love! Your passion! Your desire.”

Hordak stared at him, ears back. He looked to Scorpia, who seemed hesitant. “I’m not really sure about that....”

“I am absolutely sure that is not happening,” Hordak said firmly, deftly avoiding Sea Hawk as he reached for him again. “Stop touching me! I have not given you leave to do so!”

“But it would be so perfect! I can picture it now—“ 

Hordak had had enough of this. Ears back, he glowered at the man. Scorpia, seeing his face, paled. “Uh. Sea Hawk.”

“—swept up by your passion! And I can help you compose it! Nay, not just can—I will! I must! It is my sacred duty as your wingman—“

Hordak picked up the tech he’d been working on, glancing at Sea Hawk. He’d been intending to test it out anyway. “Sea Hawk!” Scorpia said, raising her voice. “You should really stop now. It would be a very good idea to not do any of the things you’re doing anymore.”

Ignoring both of them, Hordak took the tech and the data pad and marched to the doorway. It had no real door—they’d been working out of an abandoned shop, the door kicked in and the stock raided long ago. He set the data pad down, and pressed a component to each corner of the doorway. With a glance at Sea Hawk, who had finally noticed that Hordak was not just ignoring him but actively walking away, he pressed his thumb to the activator. A red beam fired from it, connecting to the opposite transmitter. In rapid sequence, each transmitter fired, and with a flash, a red field formed over the door. 

Hordak stood back, studying it. No signs of sparking, and the field itself seemed solid enough. Through the red field, he could see Sea Hawk’s mouth moving but—blessedly, miraculously—he couldn’t hear him, except for a faint, muffled echo. He closed his eyes and sighed, at peace. Sea Hawk tapped at the field insistently, kindly providing proof of concept. 

He stepped away and picked up the data pad. Scorpia looked at him with dread and fear in her eyes. “He’s not dead, is he? Please tell me he’s not dead. I know he’s a lot, but...just tell me he’s not dead.”

“He is not dead.” He turned the data pad to face the doorway. Seeing that he had their attention, Sea Hawk waved, then gestured for him to deactivate the forcefield. Hordak ignored this request and turned the data pad back around. “Are you satisfied?”

“Oh, wow. Okay. Phew. I really thought you’d, uh....” She let out an uneasy laugh. “I am so glad you didn’t kill him. I mean, we’ve been having such a nice conversation. It really would have spoiled things if....” She paused. “He can breathe in there, right?”

“Yes. It is merely a forcefield.” 

She let out a relieve sigh. “Oh, good. Okay. So. Where were we?”

“You suggested a recording of some sort, but what?” They both grew quiet, thinking. Then, his eyes lit up. “Perhaps....”

“You have an idea?”

“I...believe so. You will tell me your thoughts. In a few weeks, only two of your ridiculous artificial moons will be visible for a period of approximately one hour before more of them rise. During that window, several stars and planets that would not normally be visible to the naked eye will be very prominent in the night sky. I could create a star chart for her, so that she could properly view these stars and planets. Perhaps I could record some information on each of them, for her to listen to while she views them?” He looked at Scorpia. “Would that be acceptable?”

Her eyes were watery again. “Oh. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That’s, um. That’s perfect. She’ll love that. And, uh, when exactly will this be? Perfuma loves the stars. It would be nice to show her more of them.”

“Send me your coordinates, and I will give you an exact time. Be sure to select a spot with a clear view of the sky, away from all ambient sources of light. That will provide you with the optimum viewing experience.”

She beamed at him. “Thanks! That would be great!” 

He nodded. “Thank you for your assistance. It is appreciated.” 

“No problem at all! And...keep in touch, okay? I’m, uh, I’m glad you and Entrapta found each other again.” She smiled at him and, ears cocked, he offered a hesitant nod. 

“I believe I can do that,” he said, somewhat unsure of himself. The request seemed unusual, and yet, he felt inexplicably warmed by it. “You will...do the same?” He wasn’t sure if that was the correct reply, but her smile was bright and vibrant, so it seemed acceptable. 

“I will.” She wished him well, then disconnected. 

Hordak glanced at the forcefield, which Sea Hawk was testing by throwing his body against it. He shut his eyes, savoring the momentary silence. Then he approached the door and pressed his thumb to the activator. The field went out, and the soft humming he’d barely noticed before cut out all at once. 

Unprepared for this, Sea Hawk ran past, stumbling on the shop’s stoop. Hordak caught him by the back of the shirt, saving him from falling face-first on the ground. He stood him upright, and held up a hand when Sea Hawk started to speak. “Do not touch me without my permission.”

“Oh. You—you don’t like that?”

“I do not.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Hordak shut his eyes and exhaled slowly, then entered the abandoned shop and activated the field, locking himself inside. 

Silence. Blessed. Silence.

He would have to report to Entrapta that her plan was a success; with this in place, he would feel quite comfortable and secure in his quarters. Far more so than a mere lock would allow. 

-

In his quarters several days later, Hordak’s data pad started to chime. “Answer call,” he said. 

“Hordak!”

His features softened into a smile as he angled the data pad to face him. “Hello, Starlight. Did you—“

She squealed happily, interrupting him. “The tech! And the star-chart! The recording!”

“You received my package then. You are pleased?”

“Pleased? I’m—I’m speechless! No one’s ever done something like this for me before.” 

His chest felt warm, his hearts light. “Scorpia assisted me. Sea Hawk was more of a hindrance, but he was present for parts of the discussion.”

She gave him a fond look. He realized that the Princess Alliance was very fortunate she had no interest in conquest, because he would have given her the world if he thought she’d look at him like that. “Thank you,” she said. “I’ll miss you. When I’m looking at the stars.”

“You will have my commentary. And you will know I am looking at the same stars and thinking of you.”

“I know! It’s just...it’s not the same as having you here.” She paused, hair curling around her face. “I miss you. I miss having you in the lab. Kadroh tries, but he’s not you.” She paused. “Are you alone?”

“I am.”

“And...you won’t be interrupted?”

“The forcefield is on. I was just about to take off my armor before you called.”

“Ooh, can I watch?”

He cocked his head, ears flexing. “You want. To watch.”

“Is that okay?”

“I suppose.” He eyed her. “May I ask why?”

”I find it satisfying. Something in the way the pieces fit together, the way they connect to your ports. Additionally, I find you appealing to look at.”

His cheeks felt warm. He swallowed. “As you wish.” He angled the data pad and stepped away, so more of his body was visible to the camera. “Is this all right?”

She nodded eagerly. He hesitated, fingers on the crystal at his chest. “I am...unsure how to proceed.”

She leaned closer to the camera. “You don’t have to do anything special. You can just take it off as you usually do.” He nodded, but the uncertainty lingered. Despite her words, this felt like something else. Something different. She smiled. “If you like, I can give you directions.”

His shoulders relaxed. “I would appreciate that.”

“Okay, start with the crystal.” He obeyed readily, closing his hand around it. It felt good, nestled in his palm. “Now the vambraces.” H e reluctantly set the chip aside, and held up his arm to begin unhooking the armor from his radial ports. The touch of cool air on his skin was a welcome relief after the heat of the day. “I wish I was with you,” she said while he took of the other vambrace. “I want to run my hands over your arms.”

He froze, remembering what it felt like to have her hands on his forearms, fingers running through the radial void. His skin prickled at the thought. “It is pleasant,” he said stiffly, “When you do that.”

“Yeah?” He nodded. “Would it be pleasant if I kissed your hands?”

He looked at the data pad, then at his hands, flexing the fingers. “Why would you...?”

“I like your hands,” she said. “Sometimes, in the lab, I like to watch you work; I find it satisfying. You’re very dextrous. I think about kissing them. Your knuckles. Your fingertips. Do you think you would like that, if I did?”

He swallowed hard. He could hear his hearts beating. “Not. Not in the lab. That would be unsafe. But...I think. Perhaps I might. Enjoy that in. Other circumstances.”

“Oh, good! When I see you, we’ll have to try it.” He nodded, feeling faintly adrift. “Now the armor around your upper arms.”

“Rerebrace.”

“Hmmm?”

“That’s the name of it. A rerebrace.”

“Oh! Okay. Yeah, go ahead and remove that.”

He nodded and worked the pieces of the rerebrace free. He winced a little, massaging the withered muscle when it was exposed. “Do your arms hurt?” she asked, voice soft.

“No more than usual.”

“That’s not an answer.”

He paused, looking at the data pad. “Yes. They ache. Is that a sufficient answer?” She nodded, a worried line appearing between her brows. Not wanting to linger on that, he asked, “Should I remove my pauldrons?”

“Please.” He disconnected them from his scapular ports, rolling his shoulder after removing each. “Does it feel good, taking off your armor?”

Absently working the stiffness from his arm and shoulder, he considered her question. “It helps to manage my pain, so it is not entirely pleasant to take it off. Nor do I enjoy this state of vulnerability. However, it does become uncomfortable after wearing it for a long period. In that way, it is a relief to remove it.”

“I see.”

He finished stretching his shoulders, then reached back to disconnect his gorget from his thoracic and cervical ports. He couldn’t withhold a soft groan, and he ran his fingers around the cervical port, over the back of his neck, massaging the tendons. He lifted his chin and rubbed his fingers along the sides of his throat, easing the tension that tightened the muscles. He rolled his neck, and Entrapta made a soft, strained sound. He paused, one hand on the nape of his neck. “Are you all right?”

She nodded, one hand covering her mouth. “Mmh-hmm. Keep going.”

His ears twitched in confusion, but he only had one more segment to remove. The rib guards each disconnected with a soft hiss and he set them aside. A faint ache spread across his ribcage, and he raised one arm at a time, massaging the muscles along his sides as he did. Entrapta watched, rapt. He paused, looking at her. “You truly are enjoying this, aren’t you?”

She nodded slowly. “I admit, I’ve never been particularly interested in...visual stimuli. But I find that watching you is.” She exhaled shakily. “Stimulating. More so than expected.”

His hair prickled, and he smoothed it down instinctively. “Stimulating.”

“Yes. Very.”

“I. See.” His ears flexed. “In...in what way?”

“Sexually.”

The prickling grew worse, and he cleared his throat, feeling heat spread across his cheeks. “I. I was not aware that this kind of activity could be....” His chest felt tight, and his hearts were beating fast. “Arousing. In that way.”

“Oh.” Her eyes went wide. “I’m sorry! I should have— That is.” A red flush spread across her cheeks. “I think I mishandled this situation,” she said, “When I asked to watch you remove your armor, it was an innocent request. I find it...satisfying. The same way I find it satisfying to deconstruct a robot. I didn’t take my sexual interest into account, so I didn’t realize that it would likely affect me in an entirely different way as well!” Her blush deepened, and her hair began wrapping itself around her. “If I’d thought about it, I would have known, and I would have asked if you were okay with that before we continued! I didn’t mean to make you feel...used.”

“Used?”

She nodded, eyes wide. Her hair was frazzled, grasping tightly at her clothing and her arms. “It’s a matter of consent, isn’t it? It would be one thing, if you knew I wanted to watch you undress for purposes of sexual gratification—“ The heat spread across his face, all the way to the tips of his ears. “—but it’s entirely another if I watched you for that purpose without your knowledge or consent. But I didn’t—I didn’t intend to! This is an...unprecedented reaction on my part.” She spoke in rapid succession, her discomfort obvious. “I would have clarified, if I knew, or I wouldn’t have asked in the first place!” Her hair was so frizzy and so tightly coiled, it looked like she was being consumed by it. “I’m sorry!”

“Entrapta.” He wished that he was there with her, wished that he could reach out and offer her his hand. “I do not feel used.”

She swallowed. “You don’t?”

“No. I feel...” He considered. “Surprised. I admit I am also intrigued. I was under the impression that tactile stimulation was necessary to be...aroused. To any degree.”

“Oh, no. There are lots of ways to cause sexual arousal. Their effectiveness varies from person to person, but any engagement of the senses can be arousing, so much so that they’re used as masturbatory aids. Visual stimuli, auditory stimuli, or a combination of both is very popular. Personally, I prefer mental stimulation in the form of erotic literature.”

“Erotic. Literature.”

“Yeah—people write about sex or characters having sex or something similar, and that can be very stimulating.”

His face felt like it was burning. “Would.” He swallowed. “The. The procedural outline you gave to me. Could that be considered. Erotic literature?”

She blinked. “Oh. I didn’t really think of it that way, but I guess it could. Why?”

He felt a little lightheaded. “I believe I need to sit down.” He grabbed the data pad and sat on the bed. “So, it is...normal to react physically to non-tactile stimulation?”

“Oh, yes. Perfectly normal.”

“It is not a sign of-of...unnatural desires? Or anything...perverse?”

“Not at all!” She studied him, and her eyes widened. “Oh. Did you find my outline stimulating?”

He looked away, ears drawn down. “I.” He exhaled hard, fingers clenching on the bedspread. “Yes. I thought.” He shut his eyes. “I thought that there was something wrong with me. Prime always said we would be nothing but beasts without his influence to control our urges. I thought my reaction was...supporting evidence.”

“Oh, no! No, it’s not that at all!” She swore softly, and he looked at her, ears cocked. He rarely heard her use that kind of language. “I wish I was there. I wish I could hold you. I wish....” Her mouth was firm, though her eyes seemed wide and over-bright. “Prime is a liar,” she said. “He lied to you. All of you. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing unnatural or perverse. If anything—“ She lifted her chin, and there was something fierce in her gaze, something protective. “I’m glad you found my proposal stimulating. Flattered, even. Next time, though, I would like it if you talked to me if anything I do or say causes you to feel that way.”

“I was ashamed. I thought you would think less of me.”

The fierceness faded into something sad. “Oh, Hordak....”

He shut his eyes, wincing. “I should have talked to you.” His ears pulled back, and he looked away from the data pad. “You have proven yourself worthy of my trust. I am sorry I did not honor that.”

“It’s okay,” she said, “When you don’t think you deserve better, or if it matches your past experience with people, it’s easier to believe the worst. Even of people you...trust.” Her voice sounded strange. He turned and realized she’d drawn her mask down. “But we can be better with each other. Or, at least, we can try. Right?” She cocked her head in question.

Slowly, he nodded, wishing that she was here with him. Wishing he was there with her. “Yes. We will be better with each other.”

She raised her mask hesitantly. “Does this mean you’re still interested in our Intimacy Log? I thought you might have changed your mind, and I didn’t want to pressure you.”

He hesitated. “I worry about harming you.”

She smiled. “That’s okay. I worry about hurting you too.” He blinked. “I think, if we endeavor to talk to each other openly and honestly, we’ll be okay. I am comfortable proceeding with the log if you are.”

He swallowed. The idea had him feeling jittery and nervous, but there was an element of excitement as well. And a not insignificant part of him just wanted to prove Prime wrong. Slowly, he nodded. “Yes. I would like to proceed. I will review your proposal and send it back to you. When I return, perhaps we can...attempt the procedure.”

She smiled. “I would like that. And if you change your mind, please tell me.”

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are treasured. I may not reply (for various reasons) but know that I often re-read the things you guys say because they make me so happy. 
> 
> Thank you so much. ^_^ I’m glad you’re all reading and enjoying this fic.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After changing his hormone therapy, Hordak experiences some side effects. (Mermista would also like to have a chat with him.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Wet dreams, bodily fluids, alien genitalia, negative body image, sexual shame, internalized shame, internalized disgust, angst. I’m also tagging dysphoria and mild body horror out of an abundance of caution. 
> 
> Skip the first section to avoid these subjects. The second section contains references to the war on Etheria and possibly some disordered eating. There’s still Sea Hawk, though he mostly behaves himself this chapter.
> 
> I will include a summary in the endnotes for anyone that needed to skip the first section.

In the interest of scientific curiosity—and the need to confirm that he was not, in fact, going to be so out of control that he hurt Entrapta during their more intimate explorations—Hordak adjusted the hormone mixture he was taking. It was unwise to stop all at once, so he began gradually reducing the dosage. If, at any point, he felt he would be a danger to Entrapta, he could bring himself back up to his normal dose—all while safely apart from her, so she would not be at risk. It seemed like a good plan. 

He had not anticipated the side effects. Not all of them, at least. He certainly hadn’t anticipated the strange dream he had about a week after first reducing the dose. Dreaming was not unknown to him. He had been separated from the hivemind for decades. In that time, he had dreamed. Since disconnecting from the hivemind and coming to live with Entrapta, he’d started dreaming again. Some dreams were pleasant. Some were...not.

But waking up in the middle of the night, his skin so sensitized it seemed a stray air current could make him cry out was definitely new. 

It felt like a line of fire had been drawn from the tip of his widow’s peak all the way down the back of neck, to his cervical port. His hair was erect, rising to a soft crest, the ends folded forward. His groin ached, something inside him clenching tight around nothing. He thought he felt something moving down there too. Though he knew he should—he was not going to spring something like that on Entrapta without warning!—he  couldn’t bear to look, too terrified of what he might find beneath the covers. 

He sat up, breathing hard. Only an echo of the dream remained—hands on his hair, on his ears, skimming over his chest and down his abdomen. Fingers pressing to the place between his legs, the sensation amorphous—his imagination fueled solely by the knowledge that this was an erogenous zone. He pressed a shaking hand to his mouth, feeling like he was teetering on the edge of—something. He tried to steady his breathing, tried to shift position, only to fall over that strange cliff.

He couldn’t hold back a cry, though the hand over his mouth muffled it. Something inside of him clenched tight, and his hearts beat wildly. He had no control over his body, no way to  make it stop. The internal muscle released briefly, then clenched tighter, the sensation verging on painful in its intensity. To make matters worse, the unfamiliar movements had become much more erratic, almost violent, though he still couldn’t bear to look and see what, exactly, was moving between his thighs. As if to complete his humiliation, when he was finally able to bring his body back under his control, when the strange movements and harsh contractions ceased, something wet and sticky seeped out of him. 

Everything Prime had ever said about the disgusting, impure nature of reproduction echoed through him. He shuffled awkwardly, flinching when he felt the wetness shift between his legs, slick and disgusting. He needed to get up and at least change his undergarments—preferably before that wetness soaked through to his nightskirt or, worse, his bedding—but he still felt shaky and upset. He covered his eyes with his hands, trying to settle himself. He knew that had to have been an orgasm. He’d never had one before, but there was nothing else it could be, unless his body had decided to malfunction in a new and horrific way.

He paused, realizing that that was uncomfortably possible. What if he was bleeding internally? What if this was some sort of strange muscle spasm? What if he was dying? Despite himself, his only real emotional response to the thought he might be dying was resignation and indignation that he’d apparently soiled himself beforehand.

Whatever the case, he levered himself out of bed, hand clenching when a wave of dizziness struck him. He sat back down slowly, knowing he needed to sit down before he fell down. Shutting his eyes, he went through a mental checklist. His muscles were somewhat sore, but that wasn’t unusual. He did feel shaky and a little lightheaded, though. Some water and electrolytes would not be out of place. Otherwise, he felt nothing unusual or alarming.  He tried to stand again, more slowly this time. A few dark spots flickered in his vision. He leaned against the wall, allowing it to hold him up until the lightheadedness went away. 

  
He had heard that orgasms were meant to be pleasant, but as of now, he did not see that they were worth the effort. That had been decidedly unpleasant, even somewhat frightening, if he was being honest. He pushed away from the wall and stood still for a few moments, waiting until he was sure he wasn’t going to collapse before approaching the trunk at the foot of his bed. 

He winced, feeling more of that sticky substance slide out of him. Disgusted, he sneered, ears back. The indignity of it all was beginning to irritate him. He pulled a fresh set of undergarments from the trunk, as well as a fresh dress. He pushed his soiled undergarments off his hips, deliberately not looking at his genitals. Normally, that area was very...neat. Everything was tucked away, with no dangling or flapping bits, but he got the distinct impression that everything was a good deal less tidy at the moment. It was bad enough to see the glob of white stickiness in the crotch of his loincloth; his cheeks burned in humiliation, even if he was a little relieved that there was no blood in evidence. He had no desire to see what his genitals looked like post-orgasm. He only knew that he could feel air in places he’d never felt air before, and the sensation had the skin above his cervical port prickling. 

He pulled on a fresh pair of underclothes and the dress. It was early, very early, but he was not interested in sleep at this point. He put his armor on piece by piece, trying to piece himself back together as he did. 

-

It was still dark out when Hordak reached the job site. With the rest of the builders and engineers still asleep, there was little he could actually do, but he could examine their work and make notes. Doing something familiar and productive—something he was sure of—helped to settle him as well. He was happy to push aside messy questions of his own biology and focus on the more practical, tidy sciences of physics and engineering. 

As he walked around the job site, however, he became aware of a shadowed figure following him. He paused, turning to regard them. His ears folded back when he realized Mermista was watching him. At least he could now confirm that his movements were being monitored by more than Sea Hawk; he did not for a moment believe that this was mere coincidence.

“Little late for you to be out wandering, isn’t it?” she asked, and he caught the sound of the ocean rolling in the distance. He blinked, sensing a threat.

“I am inspecting everything,” he said, turning from her. He was in no mood for her baseless suspicions.

“In the middle of the night.”

“When all the workers are abed, yes.” H e stopped, catching sight of a weld that needed to be redone. He made a note of it and continued.

“Hmmph. When no one’s here to watch you.”

“I have been here for nearly a month, and your spymaster has not left my side. I have done nothing nefarious in that time. Now would be an odd time to start.”

“Spymaster?”

“The pirate. Sea Hawk.”

“Wait—what?”

“Sea Hawk. You set him to watch me.” He turned as he asked and caught the real fear in her eyes before she buried it under feigned indifference. His ear cocked in curiosity.

“No. I told him to find someone to—whatever.” She eyed him. “You didn’t...”

He lifted his chin, understanding. “I see.” He started to walk away, resuming his inspection.

“Hey! ‘See’ what? What do you ‘see’?”

“You didn’t assign him that task because you are aware that he can be...irksome.” The ocean crashed. His ear twitched. “You thought I would harm him, if you assigned him as my guard. You will notice he is very much alive and well.”

She crossed her arms. “Congratulations. You didn’t kill someone. Wow. Totally makes me forget about all the, you know, death and destruction from before.”

With a subtle twitch of his ears, he returned his attention to the wall of steel, making another note about a join that needed a tighter fit. She continued to follow him as he circled the building, making notes. He simply ignored her, since telling her to go away was not an option.

As they walked, she said, “So. He’s been saying you two are friends now.”

“I hope you are not that credulous.”

“No. I thought he was just...telling stories. Like he always does. I didn’t think he was actually hanging around with you.”

“We are not friends.”

“Obviously. But you’re making him feel that way. You’re planning something, and Sea Hawk—“

He huffed. “Sea Hawk believes whatever he chooses to believe. For example, I have been trying to dissuade him from believing I am in love with him from the day we first met.”

She blinked. “Oh for—“ She groaned aloud. “Ugh. Why does he think that? What did you do?”

He met her eye and gestured to the newly erected buildings. “This. Apparently he thinks he seduced me to the side of good.” He huffed. “Despite the fact that I agreed to help rebuild as a part of our peace treaty, which was signed months ago.”

She huffed, glaring at him. He turned away, holding his hands behind his back as he studied the desalination plant’s foundation. Aside from those few alterations, everything seemed solid. All in all, everything was going quite smoothly thus far. Just as he was starting to wonder if solar panels would be a worthy addition to his plans—was it sunny enough, year round?—she said, “Yeah. About that.” Water shot out, walling him off. He glared at it, then turned to look at her, arms crossed. “Why were you so eager to help?” Her eyes narrowed, studying him. 

His ears folded back. “What does it matter to you?” The water closed in, not yet touching him. He narrowed his eyes, wondering how he should react if she attacked him. Though he was forbidden from carrying weapons, his armor enhanced his strength to such a degree that any of the beams or girders at hand could serve him. He could even fight barehanded, he supposed, though he was loathe to do such a thing. “You are coming remarkably close to breaking the treaty, Princess.”

“Tell me what you’re after and I won’t have to break _anything_.”

His ear twitched at the obvious threat. He narrowed his eyes. “I am after nothing.” 

The water was close enough now that he could feel it stealing the heat from the air. “Then why are you here?” she demanded, “Why are you helping? You really expect us to believe it’s just that easy? Prime is dead so you’re, what? A good guy, now?” She pressed closer, her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched tight. His fingers curled. She was in arm’s reach, now. He held still, unwilling to break the treaty simply because she was threatening him. “You spent decades fighting us! How many people did you kill? How many homes did you burn down? And now—what? It’s just. Over? You’re done playing, and we’re just supposed to be okay with that?”

He inhaled deeply, ears tilted back as he looked down at her, hands clenching. Anger simmered through him. He tried to fight it back, but his tone was acidic as he replied, “I was not ‘playing’ and I do not expect you to be ‘okay’ with anything. I do not expect your forgiveness.” Nor did he care if she granted it. “However, I have been informed you are responsible for something if you break it. I cannot bring the dead back, but I can rebuild homes, and I can improve them as I do. If you are finished threatening me, I would like to get back to that.”

She glared, but the water drained away. “Stay away from Sea Hawk.”

“I do not dictate how he spends his time.”

She stomped her foot, and the ocean crashed. With a final glare, she stormed away. He just shook his head and resumed his work, saying nothing to the grumpy-looking guard that began shadowing him a few minutes after Mermista’s departure.

When the sun finally began to rise, he returned to the shop they’d been using as a makeshift office. He paused in the doorway, surprised to see Sea Hawk waiting for him. “Good morning, friend!”

Hordak glanced at him, then offered a small nod. His ears folded back. “What is that?” he asked, poking the greasy bag taking up entirely too much room on his drafting table. 

“I brought us breakfast.”

Hordak stared at him. “Why?”

His smile was guileless. “Mermista said you were working early this morning, and I know you don’t take breakfast at the palace, so I thought I’d bring something to share.”

He paused. “You spoke to Mermista.”

“Yes. She is as lovely, as beautiful as a sunrise in spring. She is—“

He huffed. “I did not ask about her physical appearance.” He looked at Sea Hawk, waiting for him to explain why he was here after talking to Mermista. The pirate just smiled vapidly. Hordak exhaled slowly and pushed the bag aside. 

“You’re not hungry?”

He gave Sea Hawk a look, but he did not deign to answer. He shook his head to clear it, then started drawing up plans for the day, ignoring the hunger pains that struck him. Eating had always seemed so vulgar and undignified; he had no intention of eating in public, even if Sea Hawk was the only member of the public around. His new guard had stationed himself outside the shop’s doorway. 

“Well. More for me, then,” Sea Hawk said happily, pulling a piece of fried dough from the bag and biting into it with gusto. H ordak just grimaced, mentally insisting he was not at all tempted by the overly-sweet, cloying scent. He had ration bars, and he would eat those when he had the opportunity to do so in private. S ea Hawk left the bag in a conspicuous place, the offer clear. “Are you sure you don’t want some?”

Hordak shut his eyes, trying not to become annoyed by what was obviously intended as a kind gesture. “Sea Hawk, I...did not have a good night. You are—“

“Oh, can I help?”

“Yes. You can help by—“

“We should sing a song! About friendship! Oh! Or go on an adventure—!”

Hordak sighed audibly. “You can help by remaining silent while I work,” he said, raising his voice. 

“Oh. Or. That.”

He maintained his silence for all of five minutes, then he started humming, which slowly progressed to singing softly under his breath. Hordak shut his eyes and counted to five, before deciding that this was likely the best he could expect.

(And if some part of him was oddly pleased that Sea Hawk had decided to remain despite Mermista’s disapproval....  Well. He would keep that to himself.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the first section: Hordak has started to reduce his dosages in the interest of confirming that he will not be so out of control that he endangers Entrapta. As a result, he experiences his first wet dream. It is not graphic, but it does result in an orgasm. It is a purely physical reaction, which results in no real pleasure for him. He is disgusted by his body’s reaction and deeply shamed, to the degree that he cannot bring himself to actually look at his own genitals, though he can feel that they are different when in an aroused state than when unaroused.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta sends a care-package.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: More Sea Hawk. Some potential for secondhand embarrassment if you’re sensitive to things like that. Mild references to arousal. Strong references to anxiety and Hordak’s past in the cult.

Hordak looked up as a guard marched into his psuedo-office and dropped a parcel on his drafting table. Hordak eyed the box, noting first that it was addressed to him and sealed with Dryl’s sigil. Then he noticed that the wax seal was broken.

“This has been opened.”

The guard just shrugged, smirking. “Anything that comes through the port of Salineas is subject to inspection for contraband.” He turned to leave, pausing deliberately in the doorway to brush the dust from his boots and to spit on the stoop. Hordak said nothing. He’d seen the builders do the same thing early on. Strangely, fewer and fewer were holding to that habit. Perhaps they’d grown tired of such petty insults. 

He set the box to the side, and Sea Hawk perked up. “Are you going to open it now?”

“No. I will open it later.” In private. 

“But what if, hear me out, you were to open it _now_?”

Hordak looked up and sighed. Sea Hawk had draped himself over the top of the box, his eyes gone comically large. Hordak went back to his paperwork. “That does not work for Imp. It surely won’t work for you.”

“Imp?”

“My....” Hordak trailed off, realizing that he wasn’t sure how to refer to his relationship with Imp. ‘Little brother’ seemed the most fitting, yet he couldn’t bear to use such a designation. He exhaled slowly.

“Imp. He is just...Imp.”

“How delightfully nonspecific!” Hordak narrowed his eyes, searching Sea Hawk for any sign of mockery, but he seemed genuine enough. “But...this is from Entrapta, isn’t it?”

“That is her sigil.”

“You don’t want to look?”

He huffed. “My desires are unimportant. I need to finish this.”

“Not even a quick peek?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Just a teeny, tiny little peek?”

Hordak exhaled hard. “No.”

“...what if...I took a peek for you?”

He froze and glared at Sea Hawk, who was infuriatingly impervious. “I would advise against that. Strongly.”

Sea Hawk pushed the lid off the crate. “Oops! Well, since it’s already open....” He reached in, pulling out a small data chip. “Ooh! What’s this?”

Hordak lunged, snatching the chip from his hand. He growled, leaning close until he was eye-to-eye with the pirate. Sea Hawk held his hands up in surrender. “You really aren’t curious? Your beloved has sent you a gift! Perhaps in return for the gift you sent her!” Despite the intimidating glare and Hordak’s prior request not to be touched, Sea Hawk slung an arm over his shoulders and drew him close, using his free hand to frame an imaginary image before them. “Can’t you picture it? She is delighted, overcome with love, overwhelmed with feeling! In fact, she is so delighted that she has decided to reciprocate! And you don’t want to know what she sent?!” For the last question, he turned Hordak to face him, shaking him lightly.

Hordak shoved him off, still glaring. “Entrapta would not be overcome by anything,” he said dismissively. “Particularly not anything I did.” Excited? Perhaps. Elated? Enthused? Yes and yes. But overcome?

No. He could not imagine that. 

In a last-ditch effort, Sea Hawk caught his hands and said, “Wouldn’t she want you to open it?”

His ears folded back, and he pulled his hands free. Nevertheless, the question gave him pause, and his words lacked their typical venom as he said, “Do not touch me.”

“Oh, right. But—you know she’d want you to open it right now, don’t you?”

“She knows that I prefer to keep my work and my personal life separate.” Still, he regarded the box uncertainly. He would not want to accidentally insult Entrapta. Was this a custom he was unaware of? Gift-giving was new to him. 

Sea Hawk leaned very close, but thankfully did not touch him. “Let me tell you something I have learned about women—“

Hordak frowned. “My observations indicate that individual Etherians are too different from each other to confirm many broad generalizations. The exceptions being ‘requires oxygen’ or ‘must drink water regularly’.”

Sea Hawk blinked. “What?”

“I am questioning your expertise.”

Sea Hawk blinked again. He took a breath, and barreled on—“Women want to know that they are your highest priority. The very center of your universe. Your everything.”

Hordak’s ears folded back. “I killed my brother for her sake. I am certain she already knows that.”

Sea Hawk threw his hands up in the air. “Will you please just open the box?! I’m your wingman! How can I help you seduce your lady love if I don’t even know what she sent you?”

“That is simple—you do not. I am not seducing her. Therefore, I do not require your help.”

Sea Hawk wailed dramatically. “My friend, you are sabotaging your own happiness! You are allowing her to slip through your fingers if you ignore her overtures of—“

He continued to rave, and Hordak sighed, pressing his knuckle to his temple, where he could feel the beginnings of a headache forming. “If I open it, will you stop talking?”

“Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

“Fine.” 

“Really?”

“Do not make me regret this.” 

He studied the data chip Sea Hawk had snatched from the crate. It was a modern chip of Entrapta’s own design, made to interact with his data pad. He set his data pad on the table and attached the chip to the back. His screen flickered briefly, then a stable image resolved. “Play video,” he ordered, and the image began to move.

Entrapta waved at him, smiling. “Hi, Hordak! My research has revealed that it is customary to send a care package when someone you care about is far from home, particularly if they’re away for an extended period of time.” She looked down, blushing a little. “I’d been intending to do this anyway, but your gift reminded me that it was probably overdue.” 

Sea Hawk made a strange sound, his eyes big and hands scrunched tight to his mouth. Hordak barely glanced at him, and held his hands behind his back at he watched the screen, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “There’s a jar in the crate—would you please retrieve it? It requires an explanation.”

Curious, he pulled the crate closer—swatting Sea Hawk away when he tried to search out the jar first. He pulled out the jar and returned his attention to the screen. Entrapta’s image waited a few seconds more, then she said, “I spoke to Perfuma, and she has designed a topical salve that should help ease muscle pain and tension.” Hordak stiffened briefly, glancing at Sea Hawk, but he didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. “Before applying it to a wider area, make sure to test it on a small patch of skin to make sure it doesn’t react poorly.”

Curious, he opened the jar, surprised by the scent of peppermint. He dabbed a small portion on his wrist, flexing his hand and cocking an ear when he felt a subtle tingling in that patch of skin. “I have also included some notes on my current project for your review. I would appreciate your input.” His ears perked, and she smiled coyly. “Not my secret project. You‘ll be allowed to tinker with that one after I have a working prototype.” He grunted, crossing his arms, though he couldn’t keep the fond smile from his face. 

“She is taunting me,” he told Sea Hawk.

Sea Hawk smirked. “No, my friend, she is flirting with you.”

Hordak’s ears flexed, and he cleared his throat as he turned back to the screen, trying to ignore the heat spreading across his cheeks. “—send an annotated copy. Maybe when you send me your notes on my proposed procedure,” she said with a grin. Another glance at Sea Hawk reassured him that the man suspected nothing untoward, though Hordak readily recognized the suggestiveness in her gaze. 

“Oh! You should know that this care package isn’t just from me.” He cocked his head. “I’ve asked the others to contribute as well, to show you how much they miss you.”

“Others?” Who could possibly miss him aside from Entrapta?

The video cut, then Kadroh appeared onscreen. “Hello, brother! I miss you and am eager for you to return. I’ve been working on my sketching—thank you for recommending I look for my data pad in the library! I found it behind one of the bookcases.” He held up the data pad, to show a sketch of some flowers. “Here’s what I’m currently working on. Oh! I think Imp was just a little jealous. I gave him a pad of paper and some markers, so he could draw too.” His ears drooped a little. “I haven’t done anything worth sending to you—“ The video feed paused briefly, and Entrapta spoke in voice-over. 

“He’s being too modest. After we filmed this, we talked and I convinced him to include a printout of a piece he’s proud of.”

“—but I made sure to include Imp’s drawings. I thought you might enjoy them.” He smiled broadly, and Hordak peered inside the crate, noting a sheaf of papers, sandwiched between stiff cardboard to protect them. “We’re excited for your return and I hope you’re enjoying Salineas. I’ve never been to the ocean before; I hope you take the time to appreciate it!” Hordak blinked. He hadn’t even considered doing something like that.

The screen cut again. Crypto Castle’s Etherian servants appeared on the screen, waving timidly. Hordak’s ears folded back and he cocked his head. They definitely weren’t enthusiastic about being filmed, and he wondered if Entrapta had unintentionally threatened them again. “H-hi,” the cook said, wringing her hands. “Princess Entrapta said she was preparing a care package for you. I, um. I thought I’d send some tiny fruit tarts, but I didn’t think they’d survive the trip.” She winced. “So I-I made a premix of cocoa powder and sugar and-and a few spices. Just mix it with warm milk—um, about 60 degrees—“ She appeared to look off screen for confirmation from Entrapta. “—and you’ll have hot cocoa just like I make here.” She smiled hesitantly, her eyes just a touch too wide. “I, uh. I hope you like it.”

Again the image cut away, and Hordak was beginning to wonder how many people Entrapta had pressed into making this video. Then it focused on three former Horde soldiers. The lizardman—Rogelio—was standing behind the humans, Lonnie and Kyle. All of them seemed a touch nervous, but Kyle at least also seemed eager. The audio cut in mid-sentence. “—so much for letting us look after the little guy while you’re gone. I know Miss—“

Lonnie elbowed him. “Princess. Cripes, Kyle. Get it right.” Rogelio rumbled in agreement. 

“Right! Princess! I mean, I know Princess Entrapta could totally look after him—“

Off-camera, Entrapta said, “Actually, it’s probably best that you guys take him. Imp’s pretty resourceful, but...um. I’m better with robots, you know. You don’t to remember to feed them every day.”

“Three times a day,” Lonnie said, looking a little alarmed.

“Yeah. That.”

Kyle cleared his throat. “Uh. Anyway. Just. Thanks. We really bonded while you were gone—“

Behind him, Rogelio signed, ‘Kyle has separation anxiety.’

“—and it just really means a lot—“

A few things happened at once. Lonnie jolted and Rogelio froze. The camera jostled, and Entrapta laughed, while Imp’s characteristic chatter echoed. The camera’s image was jumbled and unsteady as it toppled and, presumably, Imp ran off with it. Hordak covered his mouth, afraid to reveal his smile. Somebody called after Imp, but the camera just bounced and jostled, revealing flashes of metal and the tip of Imp’s wing, his small claws. A vent clanged open, and the screen was briefly plunged into darkness. A glowing pair of yellow eyes were the only things visible.

“[I miss him].” Entrapta’s voice echoed eerily in the vent.

Beside him, Sea Hawk cringed away from the screen. “What is that?!”

“Imp.”

Sea Hawk stared at him. “That is not an answer!”

Hordak offered a lopsided shrug. “It is difficult to define him. Imp is Imp.”

The eyes disappeared, and a moment later, they could hear the clanging of the vent. A new vent opened, and Imp glided down to the ground, setting the camera beside Emily. It was set at an odd angle, but all of Emily’s spherical body was visible. She stomped her legs and the upper part of her chassis spun—a kind of dance she often performed, though there was something mournful in her demeanor. She beeped sadly. 

From behind the camera, Imp hopped onto Emily and laid down. He opened his mouth, and Kadroh’s voice said, “[—be back soon. soon. soon. soon.]

Sea Hawk blinked and leaned close. “That’s Imp?” Hordak nodded. “Oh. I can’t decide if he’s terrifying or adorable.” 

“That is the typical reaction.”

The video cut, and Entrapta reappeared, giggling. “Kyle wanted to retake that last bit, but I thought you might appreciate it.” As always, she was correct. “Anyway, I hope you like your care package, and I hope to see you soon.” She waved, and the feed cut out. 

He held his knuckles to his mouth, a subtle smile at the corner. When he was sure he was composed, he lowered his hand and reached for the crate, pulling the sheaf of papers from it. He unbound them, setting the stiff cardboard to the side. He leafed through the pages slowly, again holding his knuckles to his mouth. Imp’s drawings were little more than uncoordinated scribbles, yet he found himself touched to see them. He lingered over one picture in particular. Two tall stick figures, one with red eyes and one with sunny yellow eyes—himself and Kadroh?—and a short stick figure with long strands of purple hair. A green orb with four legs. And a very small, blue stick figure with sketchy wings and a tail. 

Sea Hawk leaned close. “I didn’t realize you had a family.”

Instinct demanded he deny it, but instead he said, “It is...new.” He leafed through the rest of the pictures, lingering again on the last, which was clearly Kadroh’s work. Despite his brother’s obvious uncertainty, Hordak was impressed with his sketching—it was a rather good likeness of Emily, and he found himself admiring Kadroh’s sense of whimsy, present in the flowers he’d drawn to crown her. 

His chest felt warm and oddly tight. He packed everything back into the crate with care, intending to look at it more closely later. 

At his elbow, Sea Hawk was oddly quiet, almost pensive. Hordak was grateful for that. Later, when the tightness had eased from his chest, when he could trust himself to speak, he’d call Entrapta to thank her. For now, he set the crate aside and returned to work.

-

Later, in the privacy of his room, Hordak reviewed the research she’d sent him. He found himself pacing as he read, a small smile on his face. He scribbled a few notes in the margins, but he knew she didn’t really need his input—she would have eventually discovered the few bits he added on her own, but he was flattered she even asked. 

At the end, he wrote, ‘I am awed by your brilliance.’

He saved the file, but hesitated to disconnect the disk. Entrapta had clearly said that he should send it with the annotated procedure she’d proposed for their Intimacy Log. Was she merely teasing— ~~flirting?~~ —with him? Surely it wasn’t a command. Entrapta, he reminded himself, did not issue orders. She made requests. 

But if it would please her, could he consider it anything less than an order?

He stopped, clenching his hand. That...that was not true. Entrapta had reassured him every step of the way that this was as much his decision as hers. From her, he suspected that even an order should be considered a strongly-worded request. 

So, really, this was his choice. Entirely.

He swallowed, hearts hammering. He recognized the anxiety that came with disobeying one of Prime’s orders—

( _How many nights had he spent on Etheria, nearly doubled over with pain and panic, knowing that Prime would not approve of his actions but also knowing he had no other choice if he wanted to survive? How often had he pleaded with the memory of his maker for mercy, knowing the price of his disobedience was reconditioning or purification? How many heresies had he justified, though he knew Prime would not consider his life worth saving?)_

—yet amidst the familiar anxiety, he felt something else stirring. A thread of excitement, knowing Entrapta would be pleased with him. There was spite, as well—a banked fury that came from knowing that Prime would disapprove, were he still alive to care. Hordak’s life was his own, and he was more than the sins that Prime would tally against him.

He exhaled slowly, and ignoring the tremble in the tips of his fingers, he brought up Entrapta’s proposal and set aside the data pad to prepare for bed. He paused after removing his armor, noting the strain across his shoulders. His neck ached and he reached back, squeezing the straining tendons alongside his cervical port. It did little to help. Then he remembered the salve Entrapta had sent. It had been nearly ten hours now, and there was no sign of a poor reaction at the spot he’d tested—no rash, no irritation, no itching. Perhaps he could test it further and apply some to his neck?

He dug into the crate, pulling out the jar of salve. The scent of peppermint was pleasant enough, and not too overpowering. He scooped a little on two finger and reached back, rubbing the salve into the skin at the base of his skull before dragging his fingers down the back of his neck—careful to keep it out of his port. He inhaled sharply as the skin began to tingle where he’d applied the salve, and a soft moan escaped him as the tingling sank deep into the muscle.  


That worked better than anticipated. He studied the jar, wondering if Entrapta had run a chemical analysis on the salve. He’d be curious to know what was in it and if he could synthesize it himself. He wiped his fingers clean, realizing he probably should have used gloves when he felt the tingling along his cuticles and the thin skin under his claws. 

He settled on the bed and arranged the pillows until he was comfortable. He leaned against the pillow at his back and surprised himself by thrumming softly. For the first time since leaving Dryl, he was very nearly content—the salve had done much to ease the pain that ran the length of his neck, and Entrapta’s care package left him feeling...well, cared for. Entrapta herself was the only thing missing.  He reached for the data pad and his stylus; it was a poor substitute, but if he could not be with her, at least he could content himself with the knowledge that she desired to be with him too. Despite the anxiety coiled like a spring in the pit of his stomach, his scalp prickled with what could only be anticipation. 

Swallowing, he skimmed the proposal, skipping past the parts he’d already read and the notes he’d made. Even so, the prickling along his hairline grew stronger. He swallowed and smoothed his hair back, regretting it immediately when that only caused the crest to rise. The tingling of his scalp seemed to blend into the prickling at the back of his neck, and he was glad he hadn’t applied any of the salve to his shoulders. Shaking his head to clear it, he reached the line he’d finished on last time:

* _Ask_ _subject how he feels about being bitten._ *

His throat felt tight. He swallowed, free hand wrapping loosely around his neck. He tapped his stylus against his leg, wondering how to respond to that. Just thinking about it caused something within himself to clench. He swallowed again and wrote neatly, ‘Not yet. I feel being bitten would net a strong reaction, and I would like more information before experimenting with that.’

The coil of anxiety loosened, just a little, and he exhaled slowly. The next line read, * _Explore pectoral muscles. Test sensitivity of nipples by—*_

He blushed, looking away as embarrassment overcame him. His hairline felt sensitive, and he curled his fingers to resist the urge to smooth his hair back or to test his nipples’ sensitivity. He could barely bring himself to look at them, somewhat scandalized by her suggested means of examination. Swallowing stiffly, he wrote, ‘They are not sensitive. No testing is required.’ He hesitated. ‘I will indulge your curiosity, if you insist.’ His cheeks burned, and his ears drew back, the tips hot as his mind conjured the image of Entrapta nestled between his thighs, her hair binding his hands over his head as she bent forward to lave at—

A soft, distressed chirp escaped him, and he nearly leapt from the bed to begin pacing once more. His hair had risen to a soft peak, and the back of his neck now felt hot and sensitive. The coil of anxiety had somehow blended with his anticipation, making him feel like he was balanced rather precariously between the two. Not unpleasantly, he had to admit, even if he was no longer entirely comfortable. He took a few breaths, trying to compose himself. There were only a few lines left. Surely he could get through this without completely embarrassing himself. He bent over the data pad, crossing his legs as he continued to read—and ignoring the subtle squirming in his lower abdomen.

* _Be sure to kiss the subject liberally—on the mouth and while exploring his body. Very light application of the fingernails may also be desired.*_

He cocked his head, curious about that last statement. Careful of his claws, he ran the tips lightly over his inner arm. The sensation was pleasant enough, and he noted in the margins that he would be agreeable to that, thankful that it seemed like such a tame suggestion after everything else.

* _If subject is comfortable with genital examination, this procedure may be expanded on.*_

He froze, fingers curling. His gaze fell to his lap. The prickling along his scalp and the back of his neck suddenly didn’t feel quite so pleasant anymore.  Swallowing hard, he sat up, resettling himself again. The spring in his lower abdomen had coiled tight, all hints of anticipation replaced by dread. He tapped the stylus against his thigh, trying to decide what to say. 

Finally, he brought his stylus to the data pad and began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for your comments! I love your feedback and I treasure each of your comments. I often go back and reread them if I need a little encouragement, so even if I don’t reply, know that I love hearing from you.


	13. Interlude II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta receives an invitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: A neurotypical writer attempting to portray an autistic character (with respect, compassion, and love, but I recognize there’s a chance I’ve fumbled here—just know it’s unintentional), Sea Hawk, Hordak’s poor sense of self-worth, cult-typical abuse, veiled references to masturbation, genital discussion, discussion of sex and sexual relationships.

Entrapta looked through the microscope, studying the micro-welds she’d made. Her mouth twisted a little, dissatisfied with the results. She sighed. “Emily, make a note—I need more silver solder. This prototype is a bust.” She tossed it behind her head, hearing it crack against the ground a moment later. One of the little recycling bots would be by to pick it up and take it apart soon enough, making sure nothing went to waste. 

She glanced at Emily. “You know, Hordak’s really good with delicate work like this. His hands are so steady, and his welds are so...precise.” She gave a happy little shiver. “I wanted to surprise him with a working prototype, but maybe I should just give him the designs and let him build it. That’s still a surprise, right?”

Emily made a negative-sounding beep. Entrapta winced. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.” She stood, stretching. “I just need to make a working prototype—it doesn’t have to be pretty, just functional!” She used her hair to perform a tight backflip, shaking out her limbs as her feet came to rest on the ground once more. “Okay! Let’s do this—Emily, play recording.”

Emily made a happy whirring sound, the top half of her chassis spinning. Then Hordak’s recorded message began to play. Entrapta shut her eyes, listening to him describe the far-off stars that were normally too dim to see with Etheria’s many moons. She knew he’d probably assumed she would only listen to it while gazing up at those stars, but she’d found herself listening over and over again, lulled by the sound of his voice, even if she’d long since memorized his words. 

She sat down and went back to work, adjusting her initial design into something more workable. WhenHordak returned, they could refine and revise her work. She just needed to provide proof of concept. S he hoped it would work. She thought it would. The data indicated that it should, but she couldn’t exactly test it. Well. Maybe if she asked Kadroh...but would he guess what it was for? She knew Hordak would prefer to keep this—

“What?” she asked, looking up when Emily insistently butted against her. “What is—?“ Then she realized her communicator had been ringing for quite some time now. “Oh! Answer call!”

Scorpia’s face appeared on-screen, accompanied by Perfuma. “Hey!” she said, waving a claw. “I was getting a little worried there. We called twice, and I didn’t want to bother you—“

“I’m not bothered at all! If I was in the middle of something dangerous, Emily wouldn’t have interrupted me.”

“...dangerous?” Perfuma asked, gripping the front on her shirt more tightly.

“Oh, good!” Scorpia said, while Perfuma frowned. “I just wanted to invite you to the flower festival.”

“Flower festival?”

Perfuma stepped forward, smiling a little. “Yes! Plumeria has an annual flower festival during the week of the summer solstice. It celebrates the transition from a time of renewal and recovery to a time of joy and growth!” Entrapta smiled while Perfuma spoke, waiting for her to finish, but she stopped abruptly. The silence lingered. 

Entrapta checked the data pad.

“Hold on, I think there’s a lag. Can you repeat the last part? I missed your explanation.”

“Um.” Scorpia and Perfuma looked at each other. 

Clearing her throat, Scorpia said, “It’s uh, basically a big party to celebrate summer. There’s flower crowns and food and music. Perfuma says it’s a lot of fun. I was hoping you, um, might want to come too?”

Entrapta’s hair curled and twisted. “Are a lot of people going to be there?”

“Oh, yes.” Perfuma smiled widely. “People come from all over the region for the festivities. We’re hoping all members of the Princess Alliance—“

“And their partners!” Scorpia added.

“—will be able to attend.”

“Oh.” Her hair knit itself into anxious hands, the psuedo-fingers laced together. “I don’t know....” She looked away, thinking of all the people that would be in attendance. Would it be like the Prom or another formal party? Could she skirt the edges and just observe? (Would that be weird?) On the other hand, they’d specifically called to invite her, and this wasn’t like Princess Prom—they didn’t have to include her at all. Despite her concerns about the crowd, it was hard to pass up what seemed like an obvious overture of friendship. “Can I think about it?”

Scorpia blinked. She looked at Perfuma, scratching the back of her neck. “Um. Sure. Take all the time you need! The party’s in a couple weeks, so you’ve got time.” She smiled. “Hopefully, Mermista will let Hordak take some time off, so he can come too.”

Her hair frizzed. “Hordak’s invited?” 

Scorpia nodded. Perfuma looked at Scorpia, who returned her gaze, eyes wide. After a beat of silence, Perfuma said, “Y...yes. If you come, he may...join you. As your guest.”

Entrapta couldn’t help but spin in place, her hair coiling under her to lift her high. She hugged herself, humming giddily. As she dropped back down to the ground, her hair formed a  large cushion to catch her. “Really?!”

Scorpia beamed, and Perfuma exhaled slowly, though she too smiled. “Yes. Really,” Perfuma said. She looked to Scorpia, who offered her the Scorpinoid version of a thumbs up. 

“Well, that changes things. I don’t think he’s ever been to something like this before. I’d really like to bring him. He hasn’t had a lot of opportunities to engage in leisure activities, and I’m trying to get him to explore and experiment with activities he might find enjoyable. This seems like an ideal opportunity.”

Perfuma looked at Scorpia again, and Scorpia slung an arm over her shoulders, shaking her gently. “Yep. This would be perfect for that, right Perfuma?”

The other princess smiled, exhaling again. “Right. It’s definitely the perfect opportunity for the former—“

“My former boss!” Scorpia interrupted, “Yep! Perfect—perfect opportunity to see if my former  boss can, um, relax.” She blinked, and withdrew her claw from Perfuma’s shoulders to press it against her chin. “Actually, that’s a good question. Can he?”

“In very specific circumstances,” Entrapta said. 

Perfuma looked between Scorpia and Entrapta before saying, “As long as he behaves himself.”

Entrapta cocked her head. “I don’t really know what you mean by that; Hordak is very well-mannered.”

Scorpia was already reassuring her, though. “Of course he will! I’m sure we won’t even notice he’s there.”

“Oh, you’ll probably notice him. His height makes him stand out,” Entrapta said. “If that’s going to be a problem, I’m not sure how to fix it.”

“No! Nope—Hordak’s height is not a problem,” Scorpia said very quickly, watching Perfuma. “Well, anyway, I, um, I hope to see both of you soon. Bye!” She hung up before Perfuma could say goodbye. Entrapta didn’t mind. As soon as the communicator cut out, she called Hordak. 

His image resolved a moment later. “Hello, Star—“

“Entrapta!” 

Hordak’s ears folded back, and he glared at the back of Sea Hawk’s head. “Hi!” she told them both, waving. “I just got a call from Scorpia—“

“Ooh. What did she say?” Sea Hawk asked.

“Well...” She rolled the word around, bouncing a little on her toes. “Plumeria’s going to have a flower festival during the solstice, and we’re both invited to come!”

Sea Hawk’s eyes widened. “You are?”

She nodded, bouncing a little more. “Mmmh-hmm. Scorpia really seems to want us to come. And Perfuma too! Well.” Her hair deflated a little. “I think she was excited? It’s hard to tell.” Perfuma always seemed so nice...until she suddenly wasn’t. 

The data pad twirled as Sea Hawk ran off with it. “You have to go—both of you. It will be the perfect setting for  romance . What are you you wearing? Wait, don’t tell me right now. I’ll call you later, and we can plan. Don’t worry about Hordak’s wardrobe; I’ll make sure he dresses appropriately.”

She cocked her head. “There’s a dress code? Scorpia didn’t mention that.”

“Oh, yes. A dress code—for love!”

The data pad was snatched from his hands, and Hordak’s face appeared, though he was glaring off-screen at Sea Hawk. “That is enough.” He shook his head, ears back, then he faced the data pad. “My apologies, Starlight. I believe he is being overly optimistic as well as overly involved. Reconstruction will not be complete by the solstice, and I do not believe Mermista will give me to leave to attend—with travel, I would be gone for nearly ten days, and I doubt she would approve of that.”

“What makes you say so?”

“I conquered her country and essentially destroyed Salineas.”

“You think she’s still upset about that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

His ears twitched. “I will ask, of course.”

“Okay. I mean...” She looked away, running her fingers through her hair. “It’s all right. Maybe next year?”

“Perhaps.”

Off-screen, Sea Hawk yelled, “No! This is unacceptable! I will not stand by and allow such a travesty.”

Hordak looked at him. “You are being dramatic. This is not—“

“A travesty, I say!” The data pad jerked, then the camera lifted high—from the little she could see, Hordak was holding it overhead to keep it out of Sea Hawk’s reach. “How can you stand by and accept this? Are you not a man?”

“I am a clone, and I do not understand why my gender is important to the conversation.”

Sea Hawk made a wordless sound of mourning. “You aren’t willing to fight for your love?”

“There is nothing to fight! The treaty clearly stipulates I must prioritize the restoration of Etheria above my own personal happiness. Considering the destruction I wrought waging a completely senseless war—considering I brought Prime here, to the very doorstep of this world, I think those terms are more than fair! And considering that you yourself fought in both conflicts, I am stunned you are so determined that I break those terms.”

“It’s just ten days!” Sea Hawk said, “Besides, you haven’t taken a day off since you got here and that cannot be healthy.”

Entrapta blinked. “Hordak, is that true?”

As if abruptly remembering she was still there, he turned the data pad so she could see them again, though he was still scrupulously keeping it out of Sea Hawk’s reach. “Well. Yes. I do not require—“

“Hordak! I know you know that taking breaks is important—the Horde soldiers were allowed time off.”

His ears folded back. “Of course they were—Etherians are not very productive if they aren’t permitted unstructured free time periodically. My Force Captains insisted this was true and research seemed to prove them correct. But I am not Etherian. I do not need—“

“That’s ridiculous!” Sea Hawk said, “Everyone needs to take time off.”

“Clones do not. Even when at rest, we were put into stasis pods and our neural networks were used as relay stations for the hivemind.” He cupped a protective hand over the back of his neck, and Entrapta slammed her welding mask down, trying to keep out the thoughts of Prime and what had been done to Hordak and Kadroh and their brethren. Hordak noticed. “It was not that bad—“

“Don’t.” She exhaled slowly, voice shaking. “Don’t minimize what he did.” Through the mask, everything took on a soft teal tone. It made everything feel distant and ethereal, like she was looking at a world encased in glass. The tension in her chest eased, though the pit in her stomach lingered. 

“Fine,” Hordak said, his voice soft. “The fact remains—I do not require time off to maintain productivity.”

With her mask on, she could hear her own breathing, steady and strong, and her voice echoed faintly. “Etherians do not regard time off merely as a necessity. It is considered inhumane to force someone to go without for long periods of time.”

“Yes. Because it is a necessity. I understand that—“

“You clearly don’t.”

He shut his eyes and his ears folded back. He exhaled slowly before saying, “I will ask Mermista.”

She lifted her mask a little. “...I just want you to take better care of yourself.”

“I will ask Mermista, but I don’t want you to be disappointed when she says no.”

“If she says no, then I’m coming over there. And we’ll go to the beach. And get ice cream. And maybe go swimming, if the salt water won’t damage your ports.”

His ears twitched, and his features softened. “Though I am uncertain of the swimming, I would otherwise be amenable to that.”

“Okay. Promise?”

His mouth twitched a little. “If it pleases you, then yes; I promise.”

She pushed the welding mask up the rest of the way. “Excellent. I’ll speak to you later, then. Unless there’s something else?”

“Nothing for now. Goodbye, Starlight. We will speak soon.”

Sea Hawk waved. “Bye, Entrapta! Never fear—I will use my masculine wiles to seduce my lady love, and convince her to release your...um—to release Hordak to you!” Hordak shut his eyes, and though it looked like Sea Hawk had more to say, the feed suddenly cut out.

Entrapta smiled to herself and resumed working on the prototype.

-

The next morning, a robot delivered a small package with her breakfast. Seeing that it was from Salineas, she made a high-pitched, happy sound and tore it open. Inside, she was surprised to find several sea shells, along with a note that merely said, “The shells are for Kadroh.” Among the shells, she found a data chip that was surely for her.

With a happy hum, she plucked the chip from the package and set the box aside, attaching the chip to her pad to see what he’d sent. It contained two files. One was her research notes. The other was her procedure proposal for their Intimacy Log. Seeing that, she had to get up, pacing and using her hair to flip and twist as she completed a circuit of her suite of rooms—her excitement simply couldn’t be contained, though she cautioned herself aloud, trying to minimize her expectations. After completing a third circuit, she finally felt settled enough to actually read what he’d sent. “Okay. Okay. Let’s do this!”  She shook out her hands and settled back on the bed, opening her proposal. 

She smiled a little, reading his notes. She wished he was here; she would have loved to demonstrate how she would ‘reward him for good behavior’—and to test out the newly revealed sensitive spot behind his ears. In fact, she could demonstrate the former by showing him how much she appreciated his willingness to reveal the latter to her. She hummed again, reading his response to her question about biting. It wasn’t a ‘no’, and she was eager to see what he might mean by a “strong reaction”, though she would wait until he was ready for such a step, of course.

Then she saw the short paragraph he’d written at the end.

‘I do not think it would be wise to extend your study to my genitals at this time. I have limited knowledge of them myself; I’m not even sure if I am capable of penetrative sex, though I understand that is not necessarily a requirement. I know enough to be certain that my genitals differ from all standard Etherian configurations. I would not want to subject you to anything unusual or surprising without forewarning. For this reason, it would likely be best if I were to conduct some private research first, then we will discuss the possibility of mutual study.’

She leapt to her feet, using her hair to guide herself through a midair somersault. She began pacing her rooms again, punctuating her circuit with various acrobatics and occasionally humming to herself when her thoughts grew too loud.  She fumbled for her recorder, talking fast as she said, “Intimacy Log, personal notes, number 12. This is so fascinating! Hordak has revealed that his genitals are not Etherian in nature—which is unsurprising—and that he has limited knowledge of their form or function.” Something unpleasant itched at the back of her mind, but she just started to pace faster, burying those thoughts. 

“I cannot begin to speculate on either. I have every reason to believe Hordak is what we would classify as a mammal—the presence of nipples implies his species at one time nursed their young, and he is quite warm, suggesting he does not have to rely on external heat sources to maintain his body temperature—but he is still an alien. These mammalian traits may be evidence of convergent evolution, rather than a common ancestor, though I still believe the bipedal body type suggests that our species are not entirely unrelated. Nonetheless, none of that necessarily implies so-called ‘sexual compatibility’. Hordak already seems to know that penetrative sex is not a necessity for a sexual relationship, but I will also endeavor to reassure him that our genitals do not need to be ‘compatible’ for sex to be satisfying. I should also relay that I am not put off by his confession. If anything, I am excited by the opportunity for discovery!”

She performed another somersault, shaking out her hands as she landed. “This is so exciting!” she hissed under her breath. To the recorder, she added, “He’s said that he would like to experiment on his own so as to avoid surprising me, but I would be very interested in experimenting with him. Query—has Hordak decided to experiment solo primarily out of concern for my comfort or his own? If the former, then he may allow me to at least witness any experiments he performs on himself—though I would welcome a more hands on approach, if he is willing to wait. However, if he is uncomfortable including me because...”

The unpleasant thoughts managed to break through, and she pulled her mask down securely. “While it is possible Hordak wants to experiment on his own in order to sate his curiosity in private—which would be completely understandable—I believe it is more likely that he’s uncomfortable sharing this with me due to shame and prior conditioning from Horde Prime, a suspicion reinforced by his lack of education regarding his own body’s sexual organs.” She flexed her hands, hair coiling around her limbs. “If that is the case, then I am unsure how to proceed. Hordak’s health, safety, and comfort are of primary importance, and I’m worried I’m not well equipped to make sure he isn’t harmed by our experiments. I’ve...never been good with people.” 

She shut off the recorder and cycled through her mask’s filters, trying to find a more soothing way of looking at the world. She settled on infrared, gazing at the smear of colors meant to represent variations in temperature. It was comfortably alien, and pleasing to place her hands on the metal wall and watch the colors change—like painting with her own body heat. She traced patterns on the wall and watched them fade as the transferred heat dissipated.

She took a breath and raised her mask when she felt settled enough to proceed, blinking as she readjusted to her surroundings. Clicking the recorder on, she said, “Hordak has consistently proven himself to be unlike anyone I’ve ever known. He seems to understand and respect my need for clear communication. Thus far, we have been able to prevent the kinds of misunderstandings I’ve had in the past simply by talking to each other. I have to assume I can keep him from coming to harm in the same fashion. When we next speak, I will—“  Her data pad signaled an incoming call. “Oh!” She clicked the recorder off, assuming that was him. “Hi, Hordak—wait. Sea Hawk?”

“Greetings, Princess!”

“Hi! Do you need something?”

“No. Not...not exactly.”

“Are you sure? People don’t usually call me unless they need something.”

“I don’t need anything, I just.” He winced. “I...may have...possibly... _slightly_ overestimated my ability to convince my beloved to allow Hordak time off. And...vastly underestimated her vindictiveness.” His gaze grew watery and distant. “She is as magnificent and unforgiving as the sea.”

“Oh. Well, that’s okay. At least you tried. I’ll just—“

Sea Hawk held up a hand, shushing her. “Entrapta. Are you in a secure location?”

She glanced around her bedroom. “I suppose so.”

“Good, good. Now, tell me...how far are you willing to go to prove your devotion?”

She blinked. “What?”

“Do you want to take Hordak to Plumeria?”

“Well, yes—“

“How far are you willing to go to get him there?”

“What?”

He moaned, as if in pain. Before she could ask if he was okay, he leaned close to the camera and said, “Listen to me. I have a plan to get both you and Hordak safely and happily to Plumeria. But it may possibly be slightly illegal.” Entrapta cocked her head. “And by ‘slightly’, I mean ‘extremely’. So, how far are you willing to go to prove your affections?”

She snorted. “Sea Hawk, don’t be ridiculous; at least three of my current experiments are technically illegal. Breaking a few laws won’t prove anything. With that said—what’s your plan?”

“Well—wait. Technically illegal?”

She gestured dismissively. “Mystacor isn’t really equipped to oversee scientific studies, but my experiments are technically overseen by their ethics committee. Which is guided by a woefully outdated moral system and staffed by technophobes. I stopped asking them to approve my more interesting studies ages ago.”

“Oh. Well. I’m going to assume that’s not at all nefarious—“

“I guess that would depend on your definition.”

“—and tell you my incredible, masterful plan! First—do you by any chance own any strappy high heels? A low cut dress, perhaps? Preferably in black.”

“What?”

“Never mind! We can continue without, but I feel that ignoring the aesthetic shows a lack of commitment.”

She stared at him. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I’m extremely grateful for all the comments you guys leave. I read them all, often multiple times. I’m not good about replying, but I am always intensely grateful.
> 
> Thank you so much. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. ^//^


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neither Sea Hawk nor Entrapta know how kidnapping works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Sea Hawk (being a complete drama king), Mermista (being rather aggressive) and some light-hearted ‘bondage’ that is not at all sexual.

Hordak walked around the base of the structure, studying the completed building. “Which team was responsible for this?” he asked the supervisor trailing behind him. 

“Team Four.”

He nodded. “This is excellent work. They should be commended for their efforts.”

The woman froze. “I...what?”

Hordak glanced at her before resuming his inspection. “They have performed well. That should be acknowledged.” He paused, realizing he could be overstepping. “I know I do not have any authority here. Consider it a suggestion.”

“I...I’ll make a note of that,” she said, sounding unsure of herself. 

He nodded, finished with his inspection. “What’s the next—?”

”Hey!”

They both turned, watching Mermista stalk toward them. The woman behind him paled immediately and bowed low. “Princess, it is an—“

Mermista ignored her, jabbing a finger at Hordak. “Where is he?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sea Hawk—where. is. he?”

Hordak‘s ears folded back. “I was not aware I was meant to be watching him.”

“Funny.” 

He crossed his arms. “That was not—“

Mermista stepped close, and in the distance, the ocean crashed. “Don’t play games with me; just tell me what you did and maybe I’ll go easy on you.”

He cocked his head. “I am not ‘playing games’. You are unable to find him?”

She looked him over. “You really don’t...?” Turning away, she swore under her breath and stormed off. 

“Princess?”

“Forget it,” she snapped, never breaking stride. 

Frowning, he turned toward the other woman. “We will continue this later.” 

He started to follow Mermista, but the woman said, “Sir?” He turned, and she stepped toward him, eyeing Mermista with caution. “Be careful. The Princess doesn’t like you very much.”

He huffed. “I am aware.” Her gaze darted from him to Mermista, and he sighed. “Your concern is noted. Carry on without me. I will return later.” She said nothing, and he turned away, catching up to Mermista by walking briskly. “The two of you were meant to leave for Plumeria today.” He and Entrapta were not the only ones Perfuma had invited to her Kingdom. “He seemed excited. I do not think he would wander off.”

She glared at him, trying to walk faster, but his long stride made it easy to keep up. Seeing that this tactic wasn’t working, she tried another. “Why do you care?”

“I do not. Where have you looked for him?”

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

”I did not offer it. Does he have anyone that would want to harm—?“ He huffed, realizing that was a stupid question. “Who has the most cause to harm him?”

“Shut up! Just—shut up!” She rounded on him, hands balled into fists at her sides. Abruptly, she forced herself out of her pugilistic stance, crossing her arms and looking away. “Whatever. He’s Sea Hawk. He’s probably just...setting a ship on fire or something.”

Hordak’s ears folded back. “Why would he do that?”

She threw up her hands and groaned aloud. “I don’t know—because he’s _Sea Hawk._ Stop pretending you care! I’m not going to fall for it!”

He cocked his head, ears still back. “What?”

“Drop the act—I know you’re just using him.”

Hordak huffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Sea Hawk is entirely useless.”

“So you expect me to believe you actually like spending time with him?” Water began to leech from the ground, forming small pools around him. He watched the puddles form, then shifted to regard her more warily. “Maybe you can fool Entrapta, but—“

“What?!”

“I said—maybe you can trick Entrapta into thinking you’re her ‘friend’, but you can’t trick me. And I won’t let you hurt her or Sea Hawk, got it?”

He could hear his hearts hammering in his ears, the sound distractingly loud. Everything seemed to slow down. His hands curled, and his breathing felt tight. The nerves along his scalp prickled, and he couldn’t find the words to deny her—he was just too angry to speak. 

For once, he was glad to be weaponless; at the moment, he wouldn’t trust himself with one.

Misunderstanding the source of his anger, Mermista sneered. “Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you’re doing. Geek Princess knows tech, but she doesn’t know people. Someone like you was bound to take advantage of that sooner or later. Is that how you got her to switch sides? Playing with her feelings? Making her think you care about her? People like you don’t care about anyone. You only care about yourself, and how to use other people for your own ends.”

“You know nothing,” he finally managed to snap. His claws bit into his palms, and he flexed his fingers open to keep from hurting himself. A not insignificant part of him longed to feel the chill of water wrapping around his torso; it would be a good excuse to fight back, to lash out. He held himself in check, though, remembering the treaty—remembering too that Entrapta would be disappointed in him if he hurt one of her supposed ‘friends’. 

“I know you’ve got some kind of plan in mind, and—“

Both of them jumped when Mermista’s communicator started to go off. She did something strange with her hand—first pointing to her face, index and middle fingers spread, then pointing to him. His ears pulled back in annoyance and confusion. Glaring, she pulled up her communicator and turned her back on him in obvious dismissal. He growled softly, even as he resisted the urge to show her why that was a bad idea. Determined to ignore her, he started to walk away, until he heard—“Hi, Mermista! You remember when I asked if I could borrow Hordak for a few days so I could take him to the Flower Festival, right?”

“Entrapta?” he asked, ears pricked.

Mermista glared at him, but answered Entrapta, “Yeah? What of it?”

“I’m no longer asking!” Hordak’s ears twitched. He walked up behind Mermista; his height made it easy for him to peer over her head. Seeing him, Entrapta beamed. “Hi, Hordak! I’m kidnapping you.”

“What?” he and Mermista asked at the same time. They glared at each other. Ears back, Hordak cleared his throat and focused on the communicator. “Entrapta, I....” He huffed. “You cannot kidnap me. That would break the peace treaty and could have serious ramifications for your nation’s alliance with Salineas. They’re an important trade partner. You cannot risk such a thing for what amounts to a short vacation.”

“Oh. Well. That’s gonna make this really awkward....”

As if on queue, Sea Hawk appeared on the screen. He raised a dramatic hand to his forehead. “Oh, woe! Woe is me! I have been captured!” He bent backwards, supported only by a rope of Entrapta’s hair. “Please, my love—you must concede to her demands! Who knows what this villain is capable of...even if she isn’t dressed like one.”

“I think overalls are really an all-purpose outfit.”

He just sighed heavily. “Woe! Woe is me—kidnapped by a villain with no sense of style, which is honestly worse than the kidnapping itself.”

”They can be evil overalls,” she offered helpfully. 

Mermista groaned. “Sea Hawk, I’ve been looking for you all morning. Where are you?”

Hordak cocked his head. “Entrapta, I do not understand.” 

“Oh, it’s really very simple. When Mermista said you couldn’t come to Plumeria with me, Sea Hawk called, and—“

Sea Hawk jumped into action, grabbing hold of the communicator. “She is devious! She lured me into her web, like some sort of devilish spider! I was captured! Caught! Please, my love, you must meet her demands—or else!”

“Oh—right,” Entrapta said. “Absolutely. That is exactly what happened.” She winked, and Hordak pressed his fingertips to his forehead, sighing.

Mermista groaned. “Ugh. You cannot be serious. Please tell me you’re not doing this.”

“I’m afraid this is a matter of deadly seriousness, my love! You must meet us at the docks in half an hour—“

“Oh, make it one hour. So Hordak has time to pack.”

“Right! Of course.” He cleared his throat. “You must meet us at the docks in one hour; who knows what terrors she has in store for me!”

Entrapta waved. “Bye! Remember to pack comfortable clothes.”

He cocked his head, ears back, even as he waved hesitantly. The communicator shut off, and Mermista groaned aloud, the sound long and drawn out. She spun to glare at him. “What did you do?” she snapped. 

“I had no part in this farce!”

“Obviously! This has ‘Sea Hawk’ written all over it, but he’s only doing it because he likes you, and I don’t get it! You’re—ugh!” She gestured to him and sneered.

“Entrapta will not harm him.”

“I know that!”

“You misunderstand—I mean that Entrapta will not harm him if you don’t bring me to her.”

“Yeah, and if I don’t, now suddenly I’m the bad guy for ruining his fun.”

His ears folded back, and he cocked his head. “Sea Hawk is very...fond of you. Yet you do not seem particularly fond of him.”

She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. Her hands clenched closed, then she exhaled slowly and flexed her them open again. “Shut up. What do you know about relationships?”

“I don’t pretend to know anything. It was just an observation.”

“Yeah, well, go observe something else.”

“Happily.”

He rejoined the builders and resumed his work. Mermista could sort out Sea Hawk, and he was confident that Entrapta would seek him out when everything was settled. They could not go to Plumeria together, but she’d said she was amenable to staying with him in Salineas for a while. 

A little over an hour later, though, he was drawn from his current project by the sound of shouting. He immediately ran toward the screaming, expecting to find a half-collapsed building or the results of an errant explosion. He did not expect to find Entrapta’s mech from Beast Island running rampant through the construction site, while workers scattered before her like seals before an orca. “What is that?” one of the crew asked, defensively raising a metal pipe despite her shaking hands.

“Stand down,” he said, “That is Bethany, one of Entrapta’s companions. She is not here to harm anyone. Just keep out of her way; I imagine she’s looking for me.”

He started toward her, and one of the workers grabbed his arm—dropping it immediately when he glared at him. “You’re sure it’s safe?”

Hordak’s ears twitched. “I did not say that she was safe.” Bethany could sometimes become overexcited, and she often forgot her own strength. “Remain here, and you will be fine. It’s me she wants.”

He walked away from the group, directing others to keep clear as he approached. As soon as Bethany noticed him, she sprinted in his direction, powerful front legs kicking up dust and dirt. He stood still, watching as she corrected her trajectory by leaping overhead when she realized she was going too fast to stop without colliding with him. He turned to face her as she landed, dust hazing the air. She walked toward him at a more sedate pace and knelt as the dust settled, tilting her head so he could reach up to scratch her ‘ear’. Her engine rumbled as he did, and her ‘mouth’ fell open, but Entrapta was not inside. His ears folded back. “Bethany, where is Entrap—ta?!”

She snapped him up, enclosing him in her cramped cockpit. He blinked, reorienting himself and twisting into an acceptable position. Comfort would not be possible in such a confined space. He toggled her controls, but her autopilot was engaged and the controls were locked. He could unlock them, if he wanted. Bethany’s design was rather primitive in some ways, and many of her controls could be hacked relatively easily. However, he saw no reason to offend her when he suspected he knew where she was taking him. He settled in to wait out the bumpy trip, not especially surprised when they reached the docks. 

Entrapta was waiting for them, a trunk by her side. Bethany came to a sudden stop, jostling him, but she gently lowered her head so he could climb out of the cockpit with some measure of ease. Before his feet even touched the ground, Entrapta’s hair caught him up and pulled him close. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and her legs wrapped around his hips. Her hair wrapped around everything else. He curled around her just as tightly, burying his face in the side of her neck and holding her close. “Hello, Starlight,” he murmured, her hair coiling around his fingers. “I’ve missed you.”

She nodded and hugged him tighter, sighing in contentment. “I missed you too! It hasn’t even been that long, but...” She pulled back just enough to look at him. “I didn’t know I could miss someone the way I missed you.” She laid a hand on his cheek, and he leaned into her palm, shutting his eyes to savor the touch. Her other hand slid between them, resting on his sternum. “You’re purring.”

His eyes opened, but he didn’t pull away. “It is not a purr. I do not....” He trailed off with a huff. Entrapta was smiling at him; he would not argue if she wanted to call it a purr. 

“So, are you ready to go?”

“Go?”

“To Plumeria.”

His ears folded back. “Mermista agreed to that?”

“Well...” she drew out the word. “Not exactly. She came to pick up Sea Hawk and said that I could find you myself. We didn’t really discuss Plumeria, but I’m sure it’s okay. Sea Hawk waved as they left and very clearly said he’d see us there. So it’s probably fine.”

Hordak shook his head uncertainly. “I do not think that qualifies as an agreement.”

“Do you want to go?”

“It does not matter what I want—“

“It does, though.” He looked away, but a lock of hair curled around his cheek, urging him to turn back to her. “It matters to me. So—do you want to go?”

He shut his eyes and took a breath as he considered his reply. Finally, he looked at her and said, “I want to spend time with you; the location does not matter.”

Her smile was brilliant. “Excellent!” Her hair peeled away from him, and she used it to balance as she too pulled away. “May I have your hands?”

Curious, he held out his hands, and she installed a chip on each gauntlet. “What are you—?” She pressed a button, and a tether of purple light appeared between the two chips as his forearms pulled together. His ears folded back, and he tried to pull his hands apart. There were a few inches of give, but the tether held. He suspected he could break the bond if he absolutely needed to, but he was also able to reach the button Entrapta had pressed with ease. He touched it, and the tether disappeared. She turned it back on. “I do not understand what you’re doing,” he said. 

“I’m kidnapping you!”

He cocked his head. “That is not an explanation.”

She hooked a rope of hair through the crook of his elbow and began guiding him toward the only steel vessel docked amidst the multitude of wooden ships. Another rope of hair grabbed the trunk, and he realized abrupty that it was his trunk, not hers. “Well, the way I figure, if I kidnap you, you’re not breaking the treaty.”

“But you would be. I do not want you to suffer—politically or personally—for my sake.”

“Actually, I signed the treaty as a member of the Princess Alliance; I didn’t make any promises about rebuilding. In fact, from a certain standpoint, you could read the clauses I agreed to—about pardoning the Etherian Horde for their acts during wartime and not penalizing Prime’s Clones for their actions while under his control—as applying to you. Excluding you from the festival, when all the other Princesses and their partners are allowed to go, is just singling you out for special punishment. Which you don’t deserve and is explicitly forbidden by the treaty.”

“I am free and permitted to remain at your side. I fail to see how I’m being punished for anything. They could be much harsher—“

She turned and used the tether to pull him close, kissing him with unexpected ferocity. He shut his eyes and leaned in, savoring the sensation of her lips against his. She pulled back slowly to look at him.“No, they can’t. Not while I’m here.” Her gaze, too, was fierce. And protective. “My nation has many trade partners, and the tech we produce is very valuable. No one is going to break a trade agreement over this. As for personal consequences....” She pressed her forehead to his, eyes shut, and feathered her thumb along the skin just behind his ear. “You are my best, most constant friend. You’re my lab partner. If they have a problem with that, then they’re not really my friends.” He sighed audibly, tension he wasn’t aware of bleeding out of his shoulders. She pulled back and grinned at him. “Now—to Plumeria!”

He still had his reservations about the whole thing, but he couldn’t find it in himself to deny her. A soft smile tugged at his mouth. “Lead the way, Starlight.”

She smiled and kissed him again, soft and gentle this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your comments are deeply appreciated. I’m so happy everyone is enjoying this story. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Intimacy Log #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: sexual content, restraints, gentle femdom, genitals mentioned, references to bodily fluids, discussion of alien anatomy, sexual shame, insecurity, discomfort with arousal. This is bittersweet, folks.
> 
> For those who wish to avoid the smut, I’ll include a summary in the endnotes, featuring the important plot-points and character notes within this chapter.

Onboard the ship, Entrapta led him to a private cabin, locking the door behind them. She talked rapidly about her research, her excited babble washing over him like a balm. He caught himself smiling as he stared at her, watching her use her hair to simultaneously tuck his trunk into a secure hold, pull up program that projected a diagram onto a blank wall of the ship, and—presenting him with awooden box?

He blinked. His hands were still bound, but he took the box, holding it loosely. She continued to talk, and the diagram blinked, replaced with a familiar shape. He cocked his head, looking at his own body projected on the wall. Before he could ask her about it, she spun to face him. “Oh. You didn’t open it.”

He looked at the box. “I was...waiting.”

“Oh, okay. You can open it now.”

With a nod, he used his claws to pry the lid off. Inside, there were several cylinders, all carefully packed to protect the delicate probe on the male end. Delicately, he lifted one, examining it carefully. They were not unlike spark plugs, but he recognized several differences. He glanced at Entrapta—she was sitting on a coil of her hair, hands balled up beside her face as she watched him keenly, feet twitching as if she just couldn’t quite hold herself still. His gaze slid to the projection behind her. Understanding caused his eyes to widen. He stepped as close to the projection as he could without casting a shadow over it.

“This. This is your secret project?”

She smiled, nodding rapidly. “I used the data you provided from the dissected clones, and some of my research from when I redesigned your armor. This prototype should help manage your pain, but we could potentially integrate other functions. Can you imagine the possibilities?”

He swallowed hard, toying with the implant. “These are meant to be inserted into my ports? In place of my armor?”

She nodded eagerly. “Yeah! Would you like to try them?” He set the plug back into the box and shut it, his breathing unsteady. Entrapta stilled and her hair spiraled out from under her, setting her back on her feet. “You don’t like them.”

“I...” He shook his head to clear it. “I appreciate what you have done. It is a kind gesture. However....” He shut his eyes, wishing he could find the words to explain. “I am sorry. I am not ungrateful—“

Her hair, shifted to mimic a pair of hands, gently cupped his face. He opened his eyes, looking down at her. “It’s okay,” she said. She smiled, though he could see her disappointment in the way she carried herself. “That’s always the risk of a surprise, isn’t it? Sometimes, it doesn’t have the desired result.” She shrugged, turning away to switch off the projection. Her hair tried to pry the box from his hands, but he gripped it tightly. “Hordak?”

“I...would like to hold on to these. If I may.”

She cocked her head, then smiled. “Of course! I made them for you—you can do whatever you want with them. Oh! I can download the data to your tablet, too, if you’d like.”

He nodded. “I would appreciate that.” Beaming, she set his data pad beside hers and began to transfer the information. 

The tightness in his chest eased. “May I remove these?” he asked, holding up his cuffed hands. “Or must we maintain the illusion even in private?”

“Illusion?” Entrapta asked, “Oh, no. You are definitely being kidnapped. You just aren’t especially motivated to escape.”

He chuckled, pressing the button on the side of the chip to free himself. “Is that so?” He walked up behind her and raised a hand. Several strands of hair wrapped around his fingers, tugging his hand forward, encouraging him to wrap his arm around her waist. He did not need further encouragement to mold himself around her. He shut his eyes, savoring the warmth of her body, the way she fit against him so perfectly. One arm settled just under her ribcage, the other gently brushed the hair from her face and feathered along her hairline. “And what, exactly, would you do if I did try to escape?”

She tilted her head back to look at him. Her hair curled around his arms and shoulders. “Well....” She grinned. “I’d just have to convince you to stay.”

“May I have a demonstration?”

“A demonstration?”

“Yes. If I were to try to escape, show me what you would do.”

Briefly, a touch of uncertainty caused her mouth to purse. “You’re just teasing, right? You really do want to come with me?”

He hesitated. “I believe I am...flirting. Not teasing.” His ears twitched. “But yes—I will tell you clearly if I am uncomfortable. You will do the same?”

“Oh, yes!”

“Good. Now...about that demonstration.”

She smiled. “I’d start by removing your armor.”

“A good place to start. I would be reluctant to leave without it.”

Her hair began working his armor free. He shut his eyes, allowing himself to lean against her. He rolled his head and stretched his shoulders, at once relieved to be out of the heavy exoskeleton and dismayed by the persistent ache set deep in his spine and across his shoulders. His thoughts briefly turned to the little cylinders Entrapta had made, but he shut those thoughts down very quickly, before the prickle of unease they inspired could grow into something else. “And then?”

She shifted in his grip, rising up on her hair and turning to face him. She was nearly at eye level, now, and she brought her hands up to cup his jaw. “Then I would pull you onto the bed—“ Her hair tugged at his wrists and hips, guiding him onto the mattress and pressing him into the pillows. “—and then I’d do this.”

Her knees pressed into the mattress on either side of his hips, and her hands settled on his shoulders. As if on instinct, her hair caught his hands and held them to the comforter, strands of hair intertwining with his fingers. He squeezed the thin strands, looking up at her. “You’d merely hold me here? Not especially convin—“

She cupped his face and kissed him. He leaned into it, sighing against her lips when she ran her fingers through his hair. “Starlight,” he murmured as she used his hair to guide his head back, exposing his throat. Something low in his abdomen tightened. A little trill escaped him as she brought her mouth to his ear, nipping the lobe. She planted gentle kisses along the sensitive skin beneath, trailing down the side of his neck—following his pulse-point. Her fingers threaded through his hair, and he sighed, pressing into her touch. He could feel his hair starting to lift and that squirming in his abdomen was growing stronger—feeling that, something urged him to stop this before it got out of hand, before he did something he’d regret—but she was resting her weight on his chest and hips, and her hair was winding up his arms and around his waist like an embrace. Her scent seemed to wrap around him, and she was making happy sounds of her own. The thrumming started in his chest, and she settled against him, her ear to his sternum. 

“Are you convinced?” she asked.

“You make a compelling argument.” He flexed his arms, but her hair held him steady. “Will you free my arms? I would like to touch you.”

“Only if you promise not to escape,” she teased.

“I have been thoroughly convinced. I suppose I have no choice but to remain your prisoner.”

Her hair did not release him, but it no longer held him—he was able to lift his arms. One he looped around her waist; the other he laid across her back, thumb running over her shoulder blade. 

She gave a contented sigh, and he felt the tension bleed out of her body. “This is nice,” she said.

He nodded, eyelids drifting to half-mast. The squirming in his abdomen had settled, and though his scalp still prickled with sensitivity, it was no longer...distracting. “It is,” he agreed, “I....” He squeezed her a little. “I have begun adjusting the hormone mix so our...experiments will net a more...organic reaction.” He looked down at her, fingers curled in her hair. “I was afraid that we would not be able to do things like this any longer.”

She sat up suddenly. “You stopped taking those hormones?”

His ears drew back as he looked at her, suddenly worried by the eager light in her gaze. “No. I have adjusted it—it would be unsafe to stop all at once. Why are you looking at me like that?”

She bit her lip, sitting up in such a way that her breasts were suddenly very prominent in his field of vision. “I would be interested in cataloging your changed reactions.”

He cocked his head. “You have enough data to make a proper comparison?” She reached up, running her fingers through his hair. He inhaled sharply, tilting his head back. “Entrapta,” he said, his voice a low growl.

Her hands settled on either side of his face, holding him still as she drew close. “Listen, I realize this is going to sound strange, coming from me. But—“ She drew out the word before bringing her mouth to his. Her lips moved against him, like she was tasting him. His mouth parted on instinct, and her tongue slipped inside, stroking over his. He froze, too stunned—too awed—to move. She drew back only a hair, to murmur against his mouth. “—it’s not really about the data.”

“Oh.”

She smiled and kissed him again, more chastely this time. “So?”

He felt scrambled and off-balance. “So?”

“Would you care to experiment with me?” 

Every cell and synapse yearned for her, but he hesitated. “I...” He swallowed. Strands of her hair ghosted over his face and scalp. “What did you have in mind?”

She grinned. “Do you think you’re ready to try that procedure I proposed?”

He swallowed. “You...you reviewed my notes?”

“As soon as you sent them back.”

“I see.” His pulse felt thready, and his breathing seemed shallow. His hands fell to her thighs, fingers kneading nervously. “You...you do not have any concerns about my....” His gaze lowered, falling to his lap, while his ears drooped. “My anatomy?”

A strand of hair lifted his chin so she could meet his gaze. “I respect that _you_ have concerns, and I won’t push you out of your comfort zone.” Her smiled broadened. “But I’m not especially concerned about them, no.”

He blinked, a slow blush rising to his cheeks. “I. Did not expect that.”

She smoothed a thumb over his jaw. “Hordak, you’re my lab partner. I don’t care what your genitals look like.”

He shut his eyes and folded his arms around her back, resting his head on her shoulder—relieved.  “I do not deserve—“

She pushed him back against the pillows and clapped a hand over his mouth, leaning close. “None of that! Are you ready?” He cocked his head. “To try that procedure.” He swallowed but offered a hesitant nod. She grinned, pulling her hand away—but not before he caught it and kissed her wrist.  Her hair frizzed, eager curls forming a halo around her face. She hummed happily, and something in him clenched in response. “Just tell me to stop if it’s too much, okay?”

He nodded slowly and swallowed. “All right. I will...do that. If it’s too much.”

“Good! Now...do you mind if I bind your arms?”

“I think that might be best.”

She paused, a strand of hair producing a recorder. “Would you like to elaborate on that? For the log.” 

He glanced at the recorder and sighed. “It is sometimes easier to be...bound for these experiments. Intimate contact can be difficult to accept without the facsimile of force.” He rushed to add, “Though I know it is merely that. A facsimile.” 

She threaded her fingers through his hair. “So long as you know it’s not real, and you know that I—“ A soft flush touched her cheeks. “—care. About you. And would never force you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“Yes, I am. Aware.”

“Great! Let’s start!”

Before he could reply, her hair tugged him upright and began pulling off his dress. “Entrapta!” he exclaimed, clutching at the cloth—only to have his hands tugged up over his head as she undressed him. He huffed. “I believe this contradicts your—“ He saw the way she was looking at him and faltered. “Procedure,” he finished weakly.

She sat with her chin resting on one fist, looking him over intently. “Sorry. I was too excited to begin.” His chest heaved and his hearts beat hard. She raked her gaze from his neck, down his chest, lingering on his hips before slowly retracing the path until she reached his face. “You are very appealing like this,” she murmured, sitting back on her heels. Something inside of him clenched. “I’m almost embarrassed to undress in front of you.”

He blinked, frowning. “That’s absurd. You’re—“

Her hair popped him gently on the mouth, silencing him. “I will, though. Because you’re being very brave, letting me do this. So I can be brave too.”

She unhooked her overalls and shimmied out of them, a rope of hair pulling them free. That left her in a shirt and underclothes, and the shirt was quickly discarded as well. He swallowed hard as something inside squirmed. “This is...different,” he observed.

“Hmm?” A rope of hair raised the recorder as she crawled forward to sit on his thighs. His hearts beat hard. “Nudity has never been...titillating for me. But my heartbeat is elevated, and I noted another physiological reaction as well.”

“Really? Interesting. I wonder if that’s due to your changed hormone levels or the changed context. Let’s see if there are more changes.” She reached out, running her hand over his hair. His eyes shut and his head bowed forward, giving her better access. She hooked her fingers, using the blunt side of her nails to gently scratch his scalp. A soft trill escaped him as he sighed, scalp prickling as his hair rose to a gentle crest. “Ooh. I’m happy your hair is reacting like this. I like it a lot. It’s very satisfying. What does it feel like for you?”

Head still bowed, he flexed his toes, leg muscles bunching. “It feels...very nice. In other situations, it has felt relaxing. But right now it is...not.”

“It’s stimulating?”

He nodded, the low thrum beginning again. “Yes. Not overly so. I imagine that context matters.”

“Most likely. Most of my erogenous zones are very dependent on context.”

He cracked open his eyes, peering at her even as she continued to run her hands through his hair. “In what ways?”

“Oh, you know. Who I’m with. What their intentions are. What my intentions are.”

He smiled a little, sighing as her fingers trailed to his ears. “And what are your intentions?”

“For you?” She ran the pads of her thumbs over the edges of his ears; they pressed into her hands and his abdominal muscles tightened.

“Starlight,” he said, voice hoarse. 

“Primarily, I want to help you find ways to take pleasure in your body, rather than finding shame in it.”

He looked up, blinking. Before he could fully process that statement, though, she pressed her thumbs to the underside of his jaw and pushed his head back. Her fingers brushed the skin just under his ears, tracing over the thick tendons. A soft, surprised exhalation escaped him as she brought her mouth to his pulse point. She kissed the spot first, soft and chaste. Then her teeth scraped the skin—so gentle it couldn’t be called a bite—and heat shot down his spine and pooled in his groin. “Entrapta—“ he gasped. He wanted to fight his bonds, but he didn’t want to tug on her hair, so he was left fighting himself instead, hands clenching and feet flexing as she trailed a series of soft nips and gentle kisses over his throat.

“You never told me how you feel about hickeys,” she said, kissing the underside of his jaw.

“I. Don’t know what that—“ He clenched his jaw to hold back a groan. “—what that is.”

“Oh! It’s—“ She peppered kisses down his throat as she explained. “—when someone sucks on your skin.” She pressed her mouth to the place just below his collarbone and sucked lightly. “Like that, but harder. Hard enough to break the capillaries beneath your skin and leave a temporary mark.”

His eyes went wide and he swallowed hard. “Oh,” he breathed. Something inside him squirmed, as if seeking escape.

“Do you think you’d like that?”

He looked down at her. He was having trouble sorting his thoughts, but he found himself nodding. Smiling, she caught his chin between thumb and forefinger to kiss him gently. Her cheek brushed against his as she brought her mouth to his ear. Her breath ghosted over the sensitive lobe and the tip twitched, growing hot as he flushed. Her palm settled on his abdomen for balance. Unbidden, his hips twitched, and he felt her smile against his ear. “We’ll try that later, then.”

He was having trouble keeping track of the conversation, overwhelmed by her touch, but he nodded agreeably. Her palm slid from his abdomen to his chest, causing the skin to prickle. One hand clutched his shoulder, grip firm, while the other smoothed over his pectoral muscle. She thumbed his nipple and he lurched in her hold. She smirked. “A note for the log—subject’s nipples are sensitive.”

“They are not. You are just touching them in—“

She brought her mouth to his chest and laved her tongue over the sensitive skin. He jerked in her grip, still trying not to yank on her hair. Her hands trailed down his sides, over his ribs,lingering briefly on his ventral ports. He tried to catch his breath, but her hands settled on his waist, feathering over the skin low on his abdomen. His skin tingled at the contact, and he felt the bulge just over his pubic bone peel open for her. 

His eyes went wide. It felt like something wet was leaking from him, and something down there was definitely moving. He flushed and went very still, praying that she hadn’t noticed.  Her thumbs traced small circles over his skin, and he struggled not to vocalize his distress. 

“Hordak? Are you okay? It seemed like you were enjoying yourself but....” Her brows pulled together. “Are you upset?”

He swallowed. “I think we need to stop.”

“Okay.” Her hair released him, but she didn’t get off of his legs. Instead, she caught his hands in hers, squeezing. He huffed, looking down at their clasped hands. 

“I’m sorry, Starlight. I did not intend...”

“Hordak, no! You have nothing to be sorry for!” He looked at her, and she offered him a gentle smile. “Don’t apologize for needing to slow down or stop. It’s okay. What was it you said? This is supposed to be for our mutual enjoyment. If you’re not enjoying yourself—“

He looked away. “I was. It felt good. It felt...very good. But....” His ears folded back.

She peered at him curiously, recorder hovering. “Would you like to record your experience for the log? This sounds like an important data point.”

He glanced at her and huffed, shaking his hands free and pulling his legs out from under her. She didn’t protest as he withdrew, but she did drape a blanket around him. He eyed her, trying not to look sullen or sulky, and drew the blanket close, clasping the loose ends together. That did make him feel better, he realized, and when she asked, “Is it okay if I hug you?” he nodded slowly. She sat behind him, legs folded , and wrapped her arms tight around his chest and shoulders. He allowed himself to lean back against her, relaxing into the contact. 

“Thank you,” he said, “This is...acceptable.”

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “I like it too.”

They both settled into their positions, making themselves comfortable. She brought the recorder around, and he eyed it with a sigh. “Intimacy Log, Hordak’s notes. I called an end to the third experiment after noting an unpleasant physiological response.”

“Can you describe it?”

He exhaled slowly. “This is...embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed! I mean, I know there’s a societal taboo about several completely normal anatomical functions, but you don’t need to be embarrassed when it’s just you and me.”

He craned his neck to look at her, huffing when he saw her earnest smile. He glared at the recorder and braced himself. She deserved to know, and he ought to get this over with sooner rather than later. “My...genitals. Began to move. And I noticed something...wet. Being secreted from my...from them.” Entrapta’s grip on him tightened and she made a strange, high-pitched squeak. He shut his eyes and his ears folded back, but he’d been prepared for her disgust. He swallowed hard and pushed back his mortification. They could fix this. They could make it work. “I can resume my hormone treatments. In a few weeks, I’m certain any...undesirable reactions will be—“ He grunted as she  crawled overtop him, using her hair as a support. “Entrapta?” Her hands rested on his shoulders, her feet lightly touching his back, though her hair took most of her weight. She bowed over his head, face upside down in front of him. He cocked his head, one ear folding back as he regarded her. 

She brought her folded hands to her face, a fine tremor running through her body as she exhaled slowly. “I understand that you are not ready to explore your sexual anatomy at this time, but I need you to know that I would be _very_ excited to be there with you when you do. As observer or participant.”

His brow-ridge rose. “You are...excited. To study my genitals.” She nodded. “You do not want me to resume my hormone treatments?” 

She hesitated. “I would respect your decision if that’s what you want, but no; I would rather pursue this further.” 

He leaned forward a little. “You are not disturbed that I am secreting an unknown fluid.”

“Not even slightly. Mine do the same thing in response to stimulation. It’s a natural lubricant and indicative of excitement and arousal.” Her hair frizzed into excited little curls.

He swallowed hard. “And...the moving? You are not unnerved that my genitals...move? On their own?”

“On the contrary. I am _fascinated_.”

He leaned away to give her an odd look. “That cannot possibly be true.  _I’m_ unnerved and these reactions are apparently normal for my species! I cannot expect you to just-just accept this!”

Her hair curled around to cup his face. She smiled, still upside down. “I have a proposal.”

He sighed but didn’t resist as she tumbled into his lap, using her hair to guide her down safely. Despite himself, he had to admit he enjoyed having her there. “What do you propose?”

“Well...” She smiled, looking up at him. “I think you might be more comfortable with your body’s reactions if I shared mine with you. Would you be interested in that?”

“You would be willing to share that with me? Even if I’m not ready to do the same?”

“Of course! I can show you how I like to be touched, and if you like...” Her gaze dropped, but her smile lingered. “You can perform a few hands-on experiments yourself.”

His heartbeat was loud in his ears. “You would...trust me with that?”

She snorted. “Hordak! I’ve trusted you with so much more than _that_.”

That was not especially reassuring. After all, he had betrayed that trust, had allowed Catra to deceive him and send her to Beast Island. If not for her own ingenuity, she would certainly have died there. They’d discussed this, and she had easily offered her forgiveness, but he did not deserve that. He hadn’t earned it. Surely, he hadn't earned her trust either. Not after such a betrayal. 

He looked away, allowing the blanket to drop from his shoulders. “I should get cleaned up,” he said. He tried to rise, but she pressed her hand to his sternum and huddled close. Her hair drew the blanket around them both. “What are you doing?”

“It’s traditional to cuddle after these activities. Unless you would prefer not to?”

His ears folded back, and he looked away from her. “I.” He did not deserve her kindness. He was a poor friend to her and a poor lab partner. But he was mortal. And he was weak. “I have no objections to cuddling.” He could not stop himself from taking what he had not earned. 

He found himself being lifted and maneuvered until he was pressed against the pillows. He ran his fingers through her hair while she settled against his chest, eyes shut as she listened to his hearts beating. One palm pressed flat against his pectoral muscle, and he tried not to think about their earlier experiments and his reaction to them. He settled into a more comfortable position, ignoring the sudden realization that they were both practically naked beneath the blanket, bare skin pressed to bare skin.

“You never answered my question,” she said, looking up at him.

He glanced at her, then looked away, ears twitching as heat spread across his cheeks. “I would. Be interested in exploring your body’s reactions to stimulation. At a date and time of your choosing, of course.”

She sighed and snuggled impossibly closer. “I look forward to it.” Despite himself, he found he was looking forward to it as well. Surely, weighed against his other crimes, stealing a little happiness for himself was not such a bad thing, and perhaps, in time, he could prove himself worthy of the kindness she offered so freely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Entrapta reveals her secret project was a collection of implants meant to be inserted into Hordak’s ports to help him control his pain without the use of his armor. Hordak did not respond favorably to this. It is implied that the idea makes him uncomfortable, though he can’t articulate why. Entrapta is understanding, if disappointed. Hordak does ask to keep them, though, and she gives him the blueprints so he can study them later—this seems to cheer her up.
> 
> They are playful and flirtatious, and they try out the proposal Entrapta sent. When Hordak notices himself becoming aroused, though, he calls a stop. They discuss his insecurities about his anatomy and Entrapta reassures him. She offers to share her anatomy with him at a later date, hoping that he might be more comfortable with his own physiology if he sees that hers is not so different. Something she says reminds him of her time on Beast Island, and he reflects that he does not deserve her kindness. He says nothing, though, and Entrapta nevertheless gets him to cuddle. In the end, he still believes he is being selfish, but he decides that he will allow himself this happiness, even if it is undeserved. The tone is bittersweet. 
> 
> ~~Hordak can have a little happiness. As a treat.~~


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things do not go as expected when Hordak and Entrapta arrive in Plumeria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Chronic pain, ableism, speciesism, Mermista being unpleasant (and responsible for most of the aforementioned ableism and speciesism), internalized ableism. 
> 
> Bear with me, folks. Things will get better.

The second leg of their journey was decidedly less comfortable than their time on the ship. “Sorry. Bethany’s not really designed for long journeys,” Entrapta said as they cleared another copse of trees. “I’ve been intending to install better shocks but—" Bethany tumbled down a steep hillside, her loping run intermixed with sliding somersaults. The harness barely held him in place, and absolutely nothing absorbed the shock of impact as Bethany barreled through the forest. “—You know how it is.”

He nodded, trying not to let his claws puncture the seat leather. “How much further?” he asked. His voice was firm, almost harsh.

“Not far!” she said. Which was what she’d been saying for most of the journey. He eyed Bethany’s path and braced himself as they approached yet another forested hillside. 

Even with his armor, the jostling was aggravating his defect. Pain radiated down his arms and across his back, spreading all the way from his forearms to the base of his spine. He grit his jaw and flexed his hands, trying to focus on his breathing. Just a little longer, he lied to himself, grip tightening as Bethany leapt forward. Her landing rocked the cockpit, throwing him first into the harness and then back against the inadequately padded seat. “Doing okay back there?” Entrapta asked, glancing at him.

“I am fine.” And he was. He was fine—or he would be, when Bethany finally stopped and he could take a sedative and sleep through the pain.

“Oh—look! I think that’s the festival.”

He looked past the sea of trees, focusing on the glimpse of colorful tents just barely visible now that they’d topped a small rise. “So it would seem.” A bubble of nervousness swelled in his chest. How had she persuaded him to willingly surround himself with his former enemies for absolutely no purpose whatsoever?

He glanced at Entrapta as she urged Bethany forward. “This is going to be so much fun!” she said, fingers tapping excitedly on the controls. Perhaps not entirely without purpose. These were Entrapta’s friends. He would need to make peace with them for her sake. Tolerant coexistence should be attainable—his interactions with Sea Hawk had proven that, at least.

They plunged back into the forest, and the tents disappeared, but Bethany had her bearings and ran on, dodging trees and boulders as they went. Hordak braced himself again, grateful that he was not lying to himself this time as he mentally chanted that it was only a little further. Finally— _finally_ —they reached the edge of Plumeria, and Bethany lowered her bulky body, cockpit sliding open so he and Entrapta could disembark. She jumped out with ease, and before he could attempt the same, her hair pressed the button on his vambraces to activate the cuffs. He paused, about to protest that he needed his hands to get down, when he found himself bodily lifted from the cockpit by a rope of hair and set on the ground. He huffed, looking at Entrapta. “That was unnecessary.”

“But fun!” she teased, looping her arm through his. The mech disgorged their trunks, and Entrapta waved at her. “Bye, Bethany!” she exclaimed as the mech ran off to explore. She leaned close and ‘whispered’, “She’ll be back in a few days.”

For once, he wasn’t listening. His gaze was fixed behind her, on the people that had gathered there. Fauns, he thought they called themselves. He stiffened his spine, despite the shock of pain that ran like a bolt down his back. They were staring at them—at him—and Hordak’s hearts began beating harder and faster. They were deep in enemy territory, with no guards, and only a shaky justification for his presence. He glanced at Entrapta, trying to gauge her feelings on the situation, but it was clear she hadn’t noticed. 

She grinned at him and walked around the crowd, talking excitedly about her friends and the festival as her hair casually dragged the trunks behind them. The fauns lingered, watching them with eerie, goat-like eyes. Hordak toyed with the button to release his bonds, uncomfortable with their scrutiny and ready for a fight. All the while, his body screamed that he needed rest, but he pushed that aside, relying on his exoskeleton to keep him upright.

They left the fauns behind without incident, but he remained watchful as Entrapta led him toward a collection of yurts, the outer hides dyed in fanciful colors. A fire pit rested in the center of the circled of huts, and though the fire was not currently lit, the princesses and their partners were gathered there.

Naturally, Sea Hawk saw them first. He leapt from his place beside Mermista and waved exuberantly. “You came!” he exclaimed, running for them.

Hordak did not want to be hugged, especially not right now, but as he opened his mouth to say as much, a rope of hair caught Sea Hawk around the middle, holding him at a safe distance. “Hi!” Entrapta greeted him. “Is everyone else already here?”

“Yes—I was hoping you’d both get here before the festivities began.” He tugged at the rope of hair. “Er. Do you mind releasing me?”

“Oh, right! Sorry. I’m just not really ready for a hug right now....”

Sea Hawk blinked, then flinched. “Aw, yes. I was perhaps a touch over-enthusiastic—but I respect your boundaries. I’ll stay here. Unless...” He eyed Hordak.

“No. I do not want a hug.”

Sea Hawk did not seem put out. “When you change your mind, I will be—"

“What is he doing here?” Mermista demanded, pointing at Hordak as she stormed over. “I didn’t say he could come.”

“Well, technically, he’s not here of his own volition.” Entrapta stepped up beside Mermista, while Sea Hawk sidled over to Hordak, grinning. He kept true to his word and didn’t try to hug him, so Hordak offered a nod of acknowledgement. “See?” Entrapta’s hair tugged on Hordak’s wrist, pulling his hands up to showcase the bonds. “I kidnapped him!”

Sea Hawk grinned at this, elbowing Hordak to stage-whisper, “It was my idea.”

“I am aware.”

Mermista groaned, one hand covering her face. Their shenanigans had attracted some attention now, and the others hovered close by. The archer’s eyes widened. “You...kidnapped...?”

Catra bent in two, cackling. “You actually—!” She slung an arm over the young queen, still snickering. “Can you believe—?”

Bow glanced at her, then sidled up to Hordak’s other side, saying, “You are okay, right? She didn’t really kidnap you, did she? You want to be here? You’re not being forced, are you?” Hordak stared at him, ears back, as the archer anxiously looked him over.

Hordak was about to ask him why he cared, when Mermista threw her hands up in the air and said, “No. Uh-uh. This is not happening. It’s not cute or fun or funny. I’m _done_. You—" She pointed at Entrapta. “—are sending him back to Salineas, And you!” She glared at Sea Hawk. “Stop encouraging this! Stop trying to make friends with the guy who tried to conquer the world and hand us all over to a megalomaniacal dictator!”

Entrapta retreated a bit. “I thought.... I mean. He was invited.” She looked to Scorpia for help. “And-and Sea Hawk said he’d see us here. I thought there was an implication of tacit approval—“

Mermista stepped close to Entrapta, looming over her. One hand was balled into a fist at her side. The other was raised, finger extended and leveled at Entrapta’s face. Hordak’s ears drew back. “Don’t you get it?” Mermista asked, “Don’t you see what he did? He doesn’t get to just pretend like nothing happened and everything is fine! He’s lucky he’s not rotting in a prison cell.”

“Oh.” Entrapta threaded her fingers through her hair, searching their surroundings for a safe place to look. “I...I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

“Hmph. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one—"

“Enough,” Hordak snapped, stepping between them and using his body to shield Entrapta. “You will not speak to her like that.”

Mermista glared up at him. “Oh, yeah. I’m definitely going to take manners lessons from someone like you.” His ears flattened, and he bared his teeth, unable to articulate why she was so clearly in the wrong. “Look, I don’t care what Geek Princess does. She can stay here or she can go back to Dryl. It’s whatever. But you’re not leaving Salineas until you fix what you broke!”

A rope of hair caught his elbow. “Hordak, why don’t we go?” Entrapta had pulled in on herself, huddling against his side. He looked from her to Mermista, glowering and wishing he could find the right words to make her see just what she was doing to Entrapta.

She tugged on his arm, and he allowed her to pull him away. Sea Hawk darted forward, looking distressed. “My love, surely you don’t—!” 

“Can it. He doesn’t get to go on vacation or make friends. Not while Salineas is still in ruins.”

Sea Hawk fell silent, looking from Hordak and Entrapta to Mermista. “But....”

Catra checked Mermista’s shoulder as she passed. “Whoops,” she said, smirking. “‘Scuse me.” Hands behind her head, in a pseudo-relaxed position, she walked up to Entrapta and Hordak. “So? Room for me in your ‘bot? Or do I need to find my own way to Salineas?”

Though Hordak was having trouble tearing his gaze from Mermista, he spared her a glance. “What?”

“Can I go with you to Salineas or do I need to find my own way there?” she asked, slowing her words down as if re-stating something that should have been obvious.

“Catra?” the She-Ra asked, “What are you doing?”

“Sorry, Adora. Can’t go on vacation or make friends until we fix what we broke. See you in...?” She glanced at Hordak. “How long is this gonna take?”

“My work in Salineas is nearly done, but general reconstruction will not be finished for several years. Longer, if one considers the ecological damage—"

“Sure, right, whatever. See you in a few years, then!” She waved at Adora and started walking vaguely in the direction Entrapta and Hordak had come from.

Hordak cocked his head. “I do not know what game you are playing—"

Scorpia was suddenly at his elbow as well, her smile big and broad. “Uh. I know you don’t like hugs, so—" She touched her elbow to his, still smiling. “It will be an honor to serve with you again, sir.” She joined Catra, who glanced her way and offered an arm, which Scorpia took with glee.

Hordak, growing annoyed, looked at Entrapta. “What are they doing?”

Entrapta just shrugged. “No idea, but here comes Adora.”

The She-Ra paused in front of Mermista to say, “I mean...I did spend most of my life in the Horde. On-track to become an officer, too.”

Mermista stared at all of them, floundering. “But. You were a kid. It doesn’t count.”

The She-Ra shrugged. “It’s hard to tell what ‘counts’ anymore. I mean, how do you ever really know when you’ve done enough to fix things?”

With that, she walked past and paused in front of Hordak, offering an abbreviated—and what he would characterize as ‘overly familiar’—salute. “Reporting for duty, sir.”

He cocked his head, ears folded back. “I am not your commanding officer. You are not a soldier. What is—?” He sighed, taking a moment to compose himself. “Sea Hawk. You have never been in the Horde. What are you doing?”

Sea Hawk, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Adora and mimicking her salute, grinned. “Ah, but I was a no good, underhanded, scheming pirate.”

“I would find it difficult to believe if you claimed to be ‘good’ at piracy.”

“Thank you, my friend! My honest heart prevented me from taking things too far, but—" He dropped the salute to dramatically throw his hand over his eyes. Adora giggled, while Hordak tried to cross his arms, only to be brought up short by the cuffs. He sighed instead. “—I too have a sordid past!“ He inhaled deeply, and began to sing. “~ _As a child_ —~”

Hordak’s eyes went wide and panicked. He looked to Adora, who seemed just as frantic. Thankfully, the archer appeared behind Sea Hawk and threw an arm over his shoulders. “Hey, uh, why don’t we save the song for another time, okay?”

“But it’s thematically appropriate!”

“Enough of this farce!” Hordak snapped, “I do not understand what is happening!” He pointed at Catra. “You! You started this. Explain. Before I lose my patience.”

Unintimidated, Catra crossed her arms and leaned her weight on one leg. “Isn’t it obvious? You didn’t exactly conquer half of Etheria by yourself.”

Entrapta perked up. “Ooh! I see! It does seem unfair that the treaty places the bulk of the rebuilding efforts on you and you alone.”

His ears drew down. “Those were the terms I agreed to. I do not object to rebuilding what I helped destroy.” If pressed, he’d admit he found the process cathartic.

Scorpia raised a claw. “Yeah, but...it’s not fair that we’re allowed to hang out together and have fun if you’re not.”

“Exactly,” Adora said, smiling. “So, if you’re not allowed to take a break until reconstruction’s finished, then I guess we can’t take a break either.”

He cocked his head, still trying to process what was happening. Mermista was not having the same difficulties. “Ugh. You have got to be kidding. You’re seriously on his side?”

“They are not on my ‘side’,” Hordak objected, “This is absurd! I don’t even know what they aim to accomplish with this display.”

The princess from Plumeria stepped forward. “Maybe we can find a compromise?”

Catra snorted. “What? You want to put him in a guest prison during the festival?”

“I mean, that’s not a terrible idea…is it?” the young queen asked, looking from the She-Ra and the archer to Mermista.

“Yeah, actually. It is,” Catra said, arms crossed.

“Perhaps, it would be for the best,” the princess from Plumeria said, hands folded neatly in front of her. “His presence might make some people…uncomfortable. If he were to remain in a yurt during the day, Entrapta would still be able to take meals with him. Oh! And it would give him a chance to reflect on the vastness and severity of his crimes!”

“He _knows_!” Catra snapped. “He already apologized during treaty negotiations! The first four pages of the fucking thing are nothing but him apologizing for—”

“That kind of language isn’t very productive,” Perfuma said. “Perhaps we should form a drum circle and work out our negative feelings before proceeding?”

Mermista threw her hands up. “This is stupid! We’re not forming a drum circle—and he’s not staying.” Catra started to object again, but Mermista pointed at her and snapped, “Look, he’s not the same as you or Scorpia—and we all know Adora’s time in the Horde doesn’t even count. He’s just—he’s _different_. He’s not even Etherian!”

A strange silence fell over the group. Hordak looked to Entrapta for guidance, but she’d pulled her welding mask down, and her hair was frizzing. “Yeah. He’s different,” she said, voice echoing behind the mask. The hair on the back of his neck lifted, and he reached for her, sensing something was wrong.

“Starlight?”

She caught his hand with her hair, grip tight. “We’ll leave in the morning.”

“Wait—" the archer said, darting forward, but Entrapta was already walking away. Caught by her hair, Hordak followed along, bemused. “Entrapta,” he said, walking beside her. “You don’t have to go.”

She stopped to stare at him, mask down. “If he’s not welcome here, then I’m not welcome here either.”

Hordak’s ears pulled down. He stepped close to her but didn’t touch, leaning down to say softly, “You do not need to abandon your friends for my sake. You could stay, and I will return to Salineas.”

“No.”

He paused, glancing at the archer, who seemed just as lost. “No? Do you...have another suggestion?”

“If you go, I go.”

He frowned, ears down. “I would not ask that of you.”

A droplet of water condensed on the lower edge of her mask. She shook her head and the droplet disappeared. Was she...? “I know you wouldn’t.” She inhaled deeply, her breathing unsteady. “I told you, Hordak. You’re my best friend. If they can’t accept you, then they can’t accept me.”

The archer looked thunderstruck. “Wait. He’s your best friend?”

She nodded firmly. “I’ve compiled the data. My feelings aren’t clouding my judgement. He’s treated me better and been kinder to me than any Etherian ever has.” She started forward again, leaving both Hordak and the archer behind.

“That can’t be right,” the archer said, while Hordak said, “Entrapta. That cannot be true.” They looked at each other, but Entrapta’s grip on Hordak’s hands soon tugged him forward.

She walked up to the princess of Plumeria and asked, “Which one is ours?”

“Um.” She tapped her fingers together. “We actually had separate yurts for you two....”

“We can share.”

Hordak flushed. “Entrapta, is that...appropriate?”

She turned to him, mask still down. “Oh. Would you be rather be alone?”

“I.” His ears flexed. “You are...upset. I will remain with you if it would be a comfort.”

“Great!” She turned back to the other princess, who mutely pointed to a yurt decorated in various shades of purple. “Thanks!” Entrapta tugged him along, and he followed obediently.

The archer trailed alongside her. “Entrapta, you don’t really mean...? We were nicer to you than—?” He looked at Hordak and fell silent.

She paused in the doorway. “Do you want me to send you the data?”

Hordak sighed. “I am sure that is unnecessary.”

Bow looked between them. “Um. Right. I’ll, uh, figure it out myself.”

“Good!”

With that, Entrapta tugged Hordak inside and shut the door, one rope of hair deactivating his cuffs. He only had a moment to brace himself before she flung herself at him, and he found himself with an armful of Entrapta. She buried her face in his chest and huddled close. He grunted as he caught her up, pain radiating up his arms—though he would not let her see him wince. Not here. Not now.

He threaded his claws through her hair. “Starlight?”

She gripped him tighter, shaking her head. Her hands grabbed the front of his dress, and ropes of hair wound around his arms, guiding them to wrap around her in a hug. He—gently—squeezed in assurance. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have insisted we come here,” she said, voice muffled. “I thought...I thought this would be fun. I thought it would be a good opportunity for everyone to get to know you better. But I misread the situation. Again. I really thought....” She sniffled and her body heaved. “I’m so stupid.”

He stiffened. “You are not stupid. You are the furthest thing from stupid.”

She looked up at him, face still hidden behind her welding mask. “Then why does this keep happening? I should have known that this would happen. I should have been able to tell. I wouldn’t have brought you here if….” She took a shuddering breath. “Why am I so bad this? It comes so easily to everyone else. What’s wrong with me?”

Hordak exhaled slowly, trying very hard not to get angry with the teenagers outside—getting angry would not help Entrapta. He pulled one hand free of her hair to cup the side of her mask. “There is nothing wrong with you.”

“The evidence says otherwise.”

“You are only looking at a narrow subset of data. You must look at the whole picture.” He disentangled himself from her, but only to hold out a hand and say, “Come.” She placed her gloved hand in his, and he paused, remembering how she’d taken care of him when he’d been having one of his bad days. “Bed?” he asked, “Or chair?”

She pointed mutely to the bed, and he guided her over, sitting her on the edge. Though it caused a spike of pain along his spine, he knelt and removed her shoes. In only her socks, she pulled her feet up onto the bed, and he looked around, spotting a blanket folded neatly on a trunk at the foot of the bed. He picked it up and draped it over her. After a moment of consideration, he pulled off his own boots, though he left the compression socks on. A rope of hair pulled him up onto the bed, and he went without protest, folding his arms around her and holding her from behind. “Are you comfortable?” he asked.

She nodded, leaning back against him. “Physically, yes.”

“Good. Now, let’s review the data.” He ran his claws through her hair, gently scritching her scalp. She made a soft little sound, low in her throat, and leaned in to the touch. “You have gone into hostile territory, multiple times, to rescue a friend. You have risked your life, your safety, and even your free will and sense of self in order to save them.”

“Yeah, but...who wouldn’t?”

He chuckled. “Starlight, you underestimate exactly how incredible you are.” He trailed his hand to the nape of her neck, and her head bowed forward, allowing him to run the blunt side of his claws over the unbroken, unmarked skin. “Even in small matters, you amaze me. All the little things you do for me. And for Kadroh. You are kind to us in ways we have never experienced. You treat us as people, as individuals.”

“Because you are!” she said, turning. She pushed her mask up, brows furrowed and mouth turned down.

He pressed a thumb to her cheek, wiping away the tear-tracks. “Not everyone sees that. You see things differently.” Her gaze skittered from his, but he continued. “I know that can be...challenging. Perhaps you...miss certain things. Things that others might find obvious. However, that does not mean there is something wrong with you, and it certainly doesn’t make you stupid.” He huffed a little, still appalled that she would call herself that. “Others miss what it obvious to you. Without you, I would no longer exist as an individual. Nor would Kadroh.”

“We don’t know that for sure—"

“I do.” He huffed, pushing her hair out of her face. “It seems to me that you are working very hard to understand your friends, but they aren’t putting forth much effort toward understanding you. Which is unfortunate; they are missing out on something quite extraordinary.”

She blinked. “What’s that? What are they missing?”

He smiled softly. “You, Starlight. You are extraordinary. If they can’t see that, then they are to be pitied.”

She cuddled against him, resting her head on his chest. Her hand sought his, and she laced their fingers together. For a while, they were quiet, then, softly, she said, “I know that I’m different. I’ve known that since I was a kid.” She squeezed his hand. “With everyone else, I’ve always felt like I had to change in order to be friends with them. And, when I couldn’t do that—and I never could; no matter how I tried I could never be _normal_ —then I at least had to be useful. You’re the only one that ever seemed to like me for me.”

He shut his eyes and tried to push away his rising anger. “They are fools,” he growled. 

“Then why do I want them to like me so badly?”

He didn’t have an answer for her. He just held her tight and hoped that would be enough. For now, at least. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm honestly braced for pitchforks after this chapter.~~
> 
> All your comments are greatly appreciated. I may not reply (for a variety of reasons) but please know that I treasure any feedback I get. Thank you! (And, uh, please be _nice_.)


	17. Interlude III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow puts the pieces together while the women hash things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Speciesism referenced. Mermista is being kind of a dick, but she brings up valid points from the canon. References to the war and everybody’s past actions, allusions to Prime and his slave army (and we are calling it just that—a slave army). Generally just lancing old wounds so everyone can begin to heal.

Bow stood outside the yurt’s closed tent flap, distressed by Entrapta’s words.

They’d been better to her than Hordak had been, right? He was, well, _Hordak_. How could he have possibly been a better friend to her than them...? Sure, maybe they could have handled things a little better—he still winced, remembering his ‘inspiring’ speech to her on Beast Island—but Hordak couldn’t have possibly done better than they had. Right?

Behind him, he could hear the others arguing.

“Geeze, Mermista. ‘He’s not even Etherian’? What’s that supposed to mean?” Adora said.

“He’s not, is he? Why would he care about rebuilding if this isn’t even his planet?”

“I’m not Etherian either—I came through a portal, and Hordak picked me up. Do you think I have less of a stake in rebuilding than you guys do?”

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?”

“You didn’t try to conquer the world once you got here!”

Bow frowned. They had left her to the mercies of the Horde—accidentally, of course, but…couldn’t they have at least double checked to make sure she was really gone? And, when they learned that she’d switched sides, shouldn’t they have tried a little harder to get her back? They’d never really considered why she’d switched sides had they? They’d never stopped to wonder what the Horde had to offer that they didn’t—they’d just assumed that she was swayed by their tech and Hordak’s research, but now…. Sure, she’d seemed impressed that he called his lab a ‘sanctum’, but Bow was beginning to think there was more to it than that.

“Okay, yeah, maybe Adora didn’t—but I did. You don’t seem to have a problem with me,” Catra said.

“It’s not the same. You were high up in the Horde for—what? A couple years? Besides, you, like, did it because you were mad at Adora or whatever.”

“Why does that make it better?”

“Love makes you crazy. Everyone knows that. Why do you think I put up with Sea Hawk?”

Bow studied the ground in front of him. They’d visited her during the portal incident. Hadn’t she said something about Hordak then? She’d definitely said something about him on Beast Island. She’d called him her lab partner. And the way she’d said his name....

Bow’s eyes widened.

“But my love, my dearest, my darling—” Mermista groaned at the litany of nicknames. “—he _is_ trying! He’s been nothing but dedicated since he came to Salineas. Even the construction crew likes him!”

“So? What’s that got to do with anything? Maybe he’s just good at manipulating people.”

Catra laughed. “Hordak? He’s good at standing in the shadows and looking creepy, but other than that? He’s just a tech nerd. I don’t even think he knows _how_ to lie—" Catra fell suddenly silent. “Oh. The hivemind. He…he really can’t….“

The rest of the pieces were rapidly clicking into place now. When they freed Kadroh, she’d been looking for Hordak, hadn’t she? The name ‘Wrong Hordak’ suddenly made a lot more sense. And the way she’d flung herself at him after Adora exorcised Prime from his body? Bow had always thought that was strange, but had dismissed it as Entrapta being, well, Entrapta. And what had she said just now? She’d called him a friend, but she’d said her ‘feelings‘ weren’t clouding her judgment.

“Don’t even. I don’t care if he was part of Prime’s creepy slave army. He wasn’t a slave when he was here on his own! Am I really the only one that remembers what he did? He burned Salineas to the ground. He’s the reason Glimmer grew up without a dad. He’s the reason Shadow Weaver was there to hook her claws into you two. He’s the reason Scorpia’s kingdom is a wasteland. He’s the one that brought Prime here! He’s the reason Glimmer was taken. He’s the reason we were chipped! Don’t any of you remember that? Scorpia, he chipped you too; why am I the only one that cares about that!?”

She cut herself off, and Bow turned just in time to see her use the heel of her hand to wipe her eyes. The others stayed silent, but Scorpia raised a hesitant claw. “I lost friends and family in the war too, but I don’t blame you guys for that. Or your parents. It’s not as if Hordak brought war to Etheria—we had plenty of that before he got here. Heck, Grandad’s the one that started it, not him. We needed his tech, and he needed soldiers. It was ugly, yeah, and…probably shouldn’t have gone on as long as it did, but it’s not like it’s _all_ his fault. As for the chips, that was Prime. Hordak didn’t do that. Even when he was leading the Horde, he never did anything like that.”

“Yeah,” Catra said, “Even at his worst, Hordak was nothing like Prime. Not even close.”

Adora stepped close and held a hand out to Mermista. “When he first landed here, he wasn’t really free. He was still trying to go back to Prime.”

“And no one in their right mind would want go back to that,” Catra muttered, the fur along her tail puffing up.

“Right. The war was bad, but we all did things that we regret. He deserves a second chance, now that he’s actually free. If I thought he was going to abuse that chance, I’d agree with you, but I really think he wants to put the past behind him. He can finally be his own person, not the person Prime forced him to be. It wouldn’t be right to keep him from that. Especially when we’ve offered a second chance to others.”

“Or a third,” Catra muttered, arms crossed and eyes averted.

Mermista looked at Adora’s extended hand, but didn’t take it. She didn’t offer any further argument, though, and her eyes seemed wide and over-bright. Hesitantly, Bow raised a hand. “There’s something else.” His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled hard and said, in a rush, “I think Entrapta loves him.” He waited for their reaction, but only Glimmer and Perfuma looked at all surprised. Mermista didn’t react at all, and Sea Hawk looked almost giddy, but the others.... Maybe they hadn’t heard him? “I said—“

“We know,” Catra said, “Did you only figure that out just now?”

“Uh. Well....”

Catra sighed. “That’s not news. They’ve been dancing around each other forever.“

Scorpia nodded sagely. “Oh, yeah. Entrapta is head over heels. She talks about Hordak almost as much as she talks about tech. And space. Actually...I think maybe she was interested in space because of Hordak...? It’s hard to tell.”

“Oh. Well. Alright then.” Bow tried not to be personally offended that he was, apparently, the last to know. “That still leaves us with something else to think about—if Entrapta loves him, we’ll push her away if we don’t at least give him a chance.”

Scorpia nodded, smiling, and Sea Hawk was nearly vibrating with some pent-up emotion. Mermista, still caught up in her thoughts, didn’t react, but Perfuma frowned. “Should we be concerned about their relationship? We know he has a temper. Is it possible he might hurt her? Perhaps it might be better to separate them...?”

Catra snorted. “He’s not gonna hurt her. He might break stuff when he’s mad, but he only ever really went after me once, and I’ve done plenty to piss him off.”

Glimmer jolted at that. “Uh, that’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

Catra sighed and crossed her arms, looking at the ground as she admitted, “He went after me because he found out I sent Entrapta to Beast Island.” Her ears folded down and she drew in on herself, as if trying to make herself smaller. “He was a complete wreck after I....” She exhaled hard. “After I lied to him and convinced him she’d betrayed us, and he completely lost it when he thought she was....” Scorpia put a comforting claw on her shoulder, and Catra looked up at her, laying a hand over her claw. She nodded and straightened her spine. “He’s not gonna hurt her. I’d bet my life on it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re betting hers,” Mermista said, coming back to the conversation. Despite her words, she was more hesitant now, and though Perfuma tried to catch her eye, Mermista wouldn’t look at her.

As if sensing her uncertainty, Sea Hawk sidled up to her. “Buttercup, he truly does love her. I told you about the gift he sent to her—"

“That doesn’t mean he’s not using her.”

“—and have I mentioned that he calls her—"

“Ugh! Yes, you’ve told me what he calls her.” Mermista glanced at the purple yurt, mouth pursed. “But it’s just a nickname. It doesn’t prove anything.”

Before Sea Hawk could speak again, Bow raised his voice and said, “In any case, it’s obvious Entrapta cares about him. A lot. If we don’t try to get along with him, we’ll just end up pushing her away. Whatever personal issues we have with him...I think we should give him a chance. Not just politically, but personally too. We already left her behind once. We can’t do that to her again.”

All of them grew quiet at that. Catra‘s gaze was fixed on the ground, and Mermista refused to look at anyone. Her crossed arms had loosened, though, and when Sea Hawk took her hand, she didn’t shake him off.

“Alright,” she finally said, “For Geek Princess. He can stay—at least until he shows his true colors.”

Sea Hawk’s smile was big and broad. “So I can invite him to the palace for dinner?”

She huffed and shoved him away. “Don’t push it.”

Perfuma raised a hand, index finger extended. “So that’s a ‘no’ on the guest prison?”

“A definite ‘no’,” Adora said, putting an arm around Catra’s shoulders. “Who’s gonna tell Entrapta and Hordak?”

Bow frowned, rubbing his chin. “She was pretty upset. I think we need to do more than just tell her he can stay. I think we need to make it up to her. Anyone have any ideas?”

Sea Hawk and Scorpia raised their hands and immediately began talking over one another in their excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to keep everything canon compliant, and there's enough mystery surrounding the start of the war and how that went down that I think this still qualifies. (I think Shadow Weaver has already proven she's willing to lie about the past in order to manipulate people, so I'm not necessarily willing to take her at her word about the Scorpions, btw.)
> 
> All comments will be treasured!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak will not allow Entrapta’s friends to hurt her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C/W: Chronic pain. Sea Hawk. 
> 
> Note: A portion of Scorpia’s dialogue from the previous chapter has been altered to read as: “Oh, yeah. Entrapta is head over heels. She talks about Hordak almost as much as she talks about tech.” You can see the comment thread that inspired that change [here](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/332666806).

Hordak absently ran his fingers through Entrapta’s hair.They’d finally stopped arguing out there, and Entrapta had fallen asleep shortly after, emotionally and physically worn out. The yurt’s hide covering had muffled their words, but it was obvious what they’d been arguing about.

Part of him insisted that he was being selfish by maintaining his friendship with Entrapta. If he hadn’t come here with her, she would have been welcomed without any hesitation. He had never intended to come between her and her friends, and if he had thought about it, he could have predicted this outcome.

The other part, however, just dug in and prepared to defend his position. He would be more cautious in the future. He would not intrude on her friendship with them. Nor would he cede to them. Not in this. The very idea made him want to bare his teeth and snarl. She did not belong to them, and he would leave only if _she_ asked it of him.

Besides, they clearly didn’t appreciate her as they should. 

He settled deeper into the pillows piled behind him, adjusting his hold on Entrapta so it was secure but not restrictive. She mumbled softly, one hand pressed to his chest. Even in sleep, her hair curled around him; she’d cocooned them both in a protective cushion of it. Her scent, too, wrapped him, warm and welcoming. After being apart for so long, it felt like he’d finally come home. He hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed this. He raised his hand and gently kissed the strands of hair that wrapped his fingers. 

She sighed as if she could sense the touch and snuggled closer. He set his hand on her back and shut his eyes. A phantom ache still lingered in his shoulders and upper back—he would need to change position soon, lest the ache blossom into pain, but he was loathe to disturb their shared contentment. He ran his hand up and down her back in a slow rhythm, barely aware he was doing it.  He shut his eyes but couldn’t, wouldn’t sleep—he was too aware of the enemies outside, kept at bay by only a few layers of hide and fabric. 

Eventually, he had to shift out from under Entrapta. Though he felt guilty doing so, he had to in order to prevent his muscles from stiffening up, especially if they’d be using Bethany to return to the docks tomorrow. (He was annoyed at the stab of trepidation he felt. There was no other alternative, so he just needed to grit his teeth and bear it—worrying over it would do no good.)

Slowly, he disentangled himself from her hair, taking care not to pull on it and moving slowly so she wouldn’t wake. When he was free, he stood up and stretched. He’d have liked to remove his armor and properly stretch his strained muscles, but the tent flap seemed so flimsy. He would not be taking off his armor—not with the others so nearby. Instead, he quietly flexed his joints, rolling his head to relieve the ache in his neck and stretching his arms to relieve some of the tension in his back. The phantom pain lingered, but he felt better than he had. 

He opened the trunk Entrapta had packed for him, hoping to find his data pad. If he couldn’t sleep, he could at least get some work done. The box she’d given him rested on top, and his hand lingered on it. He glanced at the bed, verifying that Entrapta was still asleep, then opened the box and pulled out one of the implants.

He eyed the prong that tipped it. The hollow needle was currently capped, but he could imagine the possible uses of such an interface. They could more easily deliver medication or supplements or any variety of neurochemical concoctions via the implant. It was certainly more efficient, more effective than the ‘noninvasive’ interface he’d designed for his armor. She probably thought he was a fool for designing something so ineffective when he had the data on his fallen brothers’ ports and cybernetic enhancements this entire time.

He swallowed, studying the pronged tip. She’d reverse-engineered Prime’s design almost perfectly. It was the most effective means of interacting with his ports, after all. 

Exhaling slowly, he bundled the plug and set it back in the box, shutting it firmly but quietly. He squeezed his hand shut, trying to ignore the subtle tremor that ran through it. Shaking off his ridiculous feelings of trepidation and uncertainty, he began digging through the trunk for his data pad, only to frown when he tried to ‘wake’ the device. A message popped up, along with an image of Entrapta waving. It read, simply, “No working!”

He stood up and glared at her prone form. How dare she—? He huffed, fiddling with the buttons and growling softly when they didn’t do what they were meant to do. Very well. She was not the only one skilled with electronics. He would simply undo whatever she had done. 

He took the data pad and a few tools back to the bed, then settled beside Entrapta giving her a look that was both fond and exasperated. He fiddled with the data pad for a time, bypassing error screens and shaking his head when a few custom screens popped up, featuring Entrapta waving or winking or grinning alongside a teasing message about taking time off. Surprisingly, he found he was enjoying himself. The program Entrapta had used to disable his device was rather ingenious, but she’d left several backdoors, likely because she hadn’t intended to disable it permanently, only temporarily. Unraveling her code was...diverting.

He heard a soft tapping on the post beside the yurt’s entrance. “Entrapta?” a voice asked tentatively.

His good mood evaporated immediately. He glanced at Entrapta, verifying she was still asleep before extracting himself from the bed. At the entrance of the yurt, he pulled back the tent flap and crossed his arms, using his height and armored bulk to block their visitor’s view of the yurt’s interior. “She is sleeping.”

“Oh.” The archer pressed his hands together, index fingers tapping. “Can you wake her up?”

He huffed. “To what end? You have already brought her to tears once today. If you think I will disturb her so you may do so again, you are even more foolish than I thought.”

His eyes grew wide. “She—she was crying?” he asked. Hordak glared down at him, allowing his silence to speak for itself. The archer winced. “Oh, man, okay. I don’t blame you for not wanting to wake her up, but I promise, we’re trying to make it up to her.”

Hordak lifted a brow-ridge. “Is that so?” He stepped out of the yurt, allowing the tent flap to close behind him. 

“Um...?”

“You will show me what you have planned, and I will tell you if it is acceptable.” 

Bow hesitated, looking between Hordak and the yurt’s closed tent flap. “Is that...um? Necessary?” Hordak waited, silent. The archer swallowed. “Right, then. Okay. Um...follow me, I guess?” The archer guided him toward a narrow trail that led deeper into the woods around Plumeria. “So,” he said, glancing back at Hordak, “You and Entrapta, huh?”

Hordak’s ears twitched. “Is that a question?”

“Uh. Kind of...? I mean....” He exhaled hard, then said, abruptly, “So.... You two really like each other?”

Hordak cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. “Like her?” He scoffed. “That hardly describes my admiration of her. To say I liked her would be reductive to the point of absurdity.” The archer paused to stare at him. His eyes were wide and—shimmering strangely. Hordak narrowed his eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Bow shook his head frantically. “No reason! No reason at all. It’s just...nice to know you appreciate Entrapta for more than just her...um. Her technical abilities.”

Hordak’s ears pulled back. “You seem surprised. Her better qualities are obvious, are they not?”

“Um.” He swallowed. “You know what? Never mind. We’re here.” He pushed a large leaf frond out of the way, revealing a clearing at the end of the path. 

“Surpri—wait. You’re not Entrapta.” 

Hordak looked at Scorpia. “I am not.” He began to walk around the borders of the clearing, studying their work.

The archer watched him uneasily. “Yeah. She’s sleeping, and Hordak said he wasn’t going to wake her if we were just going to upset her again.”

Mermista sighed audibly but didn’t object. Hordak spared her a glare, but otherwise chose to ignore her, eyeing the clearing’s decorations instead. They’d strung streamers and banners in purple and violet across the clearing, and flowers bloomed in abundance. They’d set up a table as well, weighing it down with tiny treats, both savory and sweet. Scorpia followed at his heels, anxiously tapping her claws together. Sea Hawk was not so restrained; he leapt forward when he saw Hordak, standing on his tip-toes to sling an arm over his upper back. Hordak grunted at the impact as pain shot down his spine. He snarled and pushed Sea Hawk away.

“Sea Hawk!” Adora said, darting forward, while Mermista turned on him, hands raised to draw the moisture from the air. 

Sea Hawk, however, just brushed Adora off and returned to his side. “Apologies my friend! In my enthusiasm, I forgot that you don’t like being touched.” Hordak huffed, crossing his arms and regarding Sea Hawk with narrowed eyes. Sea Hawk’s grin didn’t falter, even as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “But you must tell me your thoughts! Are there enough banners? Do we need more? I can find—“

“That will not be necessary. This is an adequate number of banners.”

“Excellent! What about the flowers? Are there enough flowers—oh! Does she have a favorite flower? Perfuma! Quickly—“

“I am not aware of a particular preference. Flowers have not seemed to be of much interest to her—“

“Wait! You don’t know her favorite flower?” Sea Hawk abruptly asked, spinning on him. “What kind of flowers do you give her, then?”

Hordak cocked his head, ears twitching. “Why would I offer her flowers if she is disinterested in them?”

Sea Hawk laughed indulgently, before posing—one hand on his chest and expression knowing. “My friend, a woman wants to feel special. She wants to be made to feel treasured! Adored! Flowers are the perfect way to show her you are thinking of her!”

Hordak brushed him off. “It seems that the effect would be heightened if she were offered something she actually enjoyed rather than a symbolic but ultimately generic gesture. A note seems like it would achieve the same result.”

Sea Hawk’s arms spread wide, his grin broad. “That is why you must ask her what her _favorite_ flower is!”

Hordak’s ears twitched, then he huffed. “I suppose you have a point. I will ask her, but I remain unconvinced.”

“Ah, you are learning! Soon you will be courting your lady in no time!” Sea Hawk said, reaching for him, but abruptly pulling his hand back when he remembered Hordak’s boundaries. “Sorry! Just—follow me over here and tell me if these cupcakes are tiny enough!”

While Hordak followed Sea Hawk, he heard Catra whisper, “What’s happening right now?”

Scorpia, sniffling a little, replied, “Male bonding.”

Hordak cast them a chastening look, but he bent forward to study the cupcakes when Sea Hawk asked him about them. Hordak confirmed that they were both small enough and cute enough to suit Entrapta’s tastes. While studying them,  he noticed that the cupcakes were color-coded and arranged in a familiar-seeming geometric pattern. It was elaborate and eye-catching. He traced a finger over them, following the pattern they formed.

At his elbow, the She-Ra appeared. “It says, ‘Sorry’ in First Ones’ glyphs.”

“Yeah. ‘Sorry for making you feel unwelcome’ was a bit long, so we cut it down,” Bow said.

Hordak stared at the glyphs, one hand creeping up to cover the crystal at the top of his sternum. “I thought these glyphs were merely decorative. I was unaware they held meaning.”

“Oh, yeah!” the archer, continued. “Not many people can read them. My dads have spent most of their lives studying them, but Adora’s probably the only person alive who can really read them.” Hordak’s fingers curled, claws catching the edges of the crystal as he turned to Adora. “Entrapta can read a bit too, but probably not as much as my Dads.”

“Can she?” he asked her, resisting the urge to trace the glyphs on the crystal.

The She-Ra’s gaze flitted from his hand back up to his face. Her smile was lopsided and hesitant. “Yeah. She can read them. Enough. Um.” Again she glanced at his hand. The hand covering the crystal. “Enough to read the cupcake message, at least.” Her hands wrung nervously, and again, she looked at the place his hidden crystal rested.

“I see.” 

He forced his hand down to his side, mind whirling. It was hard to focus on the decorations and the trays of tiny food and carbonated drinks they’d gathered, but he gave each an approving nod. “I believe this is...adequate.” Mermista muttered something, but he didn’t even spare her a look. “I will fetch Entrapta. She-Ra?” Adora stiffened. He gave her a steady look. She swallowed. “Will you accompany me?”

“Oh, come on, you don’t want me to go with you. Right? You like, um, you like Sea Hawk much better! Why don’t you take him?” Hordak looked at Sea Hawk dismissively, ignoring the man’s enthusiastic wave, then turned back to her, waiting. She gave him a nervous smile, then her posture slumped and she sighed. “Okay. Let’s go.” He offered a nod, then followed her away from the clearing.

She kept glancing back at him as they walked down the trail. “So.... You think this will make Entrapta feel better?”

“It is a start.”

She sobered a little, eyes downcast as she nodded. The silence hung heavy between them as they reached the end of the short trail. Then she stopped. She turned, looking up at him. “You want to know what the crystal says, don’t you?”

He returned her gaze, crossing his arms. “I am not sure.“

“I thought— Isn’t that why you asked me to come with you?”

He looked away, absently tracing the crystal’s glyphs. “If it were important, she would have told me what it meant.” Wouldn’t she? His ears folded back, and he huffed. “So it cannot be—“ He turned and caught Adora’s expression. Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly parted. She tried to school her features, but he saw, nonetheless. “Ah.” He folded his hands behind his back. His chest ached strangely. He swallowed, turning away from her.

Adora touched his elbow lightly. He glared at her, and she pulled away. “Sorry. It’s just—“ She rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not. Bad. Your—“ She circled the hollow of her throat, mirroring the placement of his crystal. “But it...it really isn’t my place to tell you what it says. Entrapta will tell you. When she’s ready. Or...if you ask her.”

He eyed the purple yurt, hands behind his back. He lifted his chin, resisting the urge to touch the crystal once again. He exhaled slowly and made his way toward the yurt. When the She-Ra didn’t follow, he called her forward. “You...want me to come?” she asked.

“Ideally, yes.”

She sighed again and followed him, head down as she anxiously smoothed out her jacket and tugged at her sleeves. At the yurt, he knocked—if Entrapta was awake, he didn’t want to barge in—but she didn’t answer. He pulled the tent flap back, holding it open for the She-Ra before following her inside.

She lingered near the tent’s entrance as he approached the bed. Gently, he said, “Entrapta. Wake up.” Her hair caught him around the waist and dragged him onto the bed. “Entrapta!” She snuggled into him, and he sighed, not daring to glance at the She-Ra.

“You were gone,” Entrapta complained, “Where did you go?”

He pet her hair, running his thumb over the back of her neck. “Your friends have a surprise for you. I went to verify that it would be a good surprise before I woke you.”

She sat up, blinking owlishly. The She-Ra waved hesitantly when Entrapta saw her standing there. “Hey,” she said. “We, uh, we felt bad about...earlier. And wanted you to know—both of you—“ She said emphatically, looking directly at Hordak as she did. “—that we’re happy you’re here and we want you to stay.”

Entrapta only glanced at Hordak, reaching out to take his arm in hers. “Both of us? Really?”  She sounded happy and hopeful, but she soon pulled her mask down, tightening her grip on Hordak’s arm. “Mermista wasn’t happy. And Perfuma....” She shook her head. “Perfuma wanted to put him in a cell—“

“I mean. To be fair, I don’t think it was an actual cell. Probably just a yurt he wouldn’t be allowed to leave.”

“Yeah, but she invited us. Why would she ask us to come if she didn’t want him here?” 

Adora sighed. She glanced at Hordak, then sat on the edge of the bed, taking a rope of Entrapta’s hair in hand. “They’re having a hard time trusting him. That’s all. They didn’t really understand how important he is to you. Scorpia did. She’s the reason Perfuma invited him, but when Mermista seemed uncomfortable, Perfuma just wanted to find a compromise that would please both of you. We’ve all talked it over. We understand now that he’s....” She hesitated.

“My best friend.”

Adora nodded, though her eyes dropped to his crystal. “Right. That.” She cleared her throat. “No one wants you guys to leave. We want you to stay and have fun and—“ She looked at Hordak. “And we want to get to know you better. That is...if you still want to stay?” 

Entrapta looked at him, and he ran a thumb over the back of her hand. “It is up to you, Starlight.”

Entrapta glanced at Adora before scooting closer to him. “You wouldn’t mind getting to know everyone better? Making friends?”

He huffed. “I do not expect to make friends, but I hope that they will be...tolerant. For your sake, if not mine.” He eyed Adora. “Is that too much to expect?” It was an honest question, with no trace of sarcasm. 

“No,” she said, “That’s...that’s not too much.” She offered a hand. “So, do you want to try this again?”

Entrapta looked from him to Adora. She smiled, using her hair to lift herself off the bed. She somersaulted in midair, using her hair as a support, and landed lightly, grinning. “All right! Let’s go!” Before Hordak could rise, she gripped him around the waist and tugged him upright. Pain shot across his shoulders and he winced, but he managed to hold back his hiss.

She was so excited. He didn’t want to ruin that. So he hid his pain as they left the yurt, trailing behind Entrapta and the She-Ra as they made their way to the clearing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are appreciated. I don’t usually reply, for various reasons, but I am always delighted by feedback.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak navigates a new social setting with all the grace he can muster. (He's trying.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Mermista is trying (but not very hard), Horde Prime's ableism and clone abuse, unhealthy mindsets, mild PTSD, references to chronic pain/disability.

Hordak hung back while Entrapta flitted about the clearing. He leaned against a tree, slipping into the metaphorical shadows. Scorpia was at Entrapta’s side and Sea Hawk trailed them both. Entrapta’s smile was big and broad as she turned in a circle, oohing over the newly decorated clearing. “This is really for me?” she asked.

Scorpia turned, looking at Mermista. She sighed and stepped forward. “Yeah, well....” She crossed her arms and looked away. “We, uh....” Adora cleared her throat, while Catra glared, tail twitching. “I felt bad. For making you feel like I didn’t want you here. We all did.”

Entrapta paused during her circuit of the clearing. Her hair pulled her toward Mermista in one long step, and now, spider-like, she loomed over her. “Really?” she asked, cocking her head. She pulled her mask down, cycling through the mask’s settings. “Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

Mermista sighed. “No! Geeze, Geek Princess—of course we want you here.” She eyed Hordak with a sigh, but before she could say something she might regret, Sea Hawk looped his arms around her waist and grinned up at Entrapta.

“I for one am happy you’re both here!” he exclaimed.

Mermista grumbled a bit, but when Entrapta dropped to the ground in front of her, she offered a reserved smile. “Yeah, yeah,” she said, “I guess I’d rather keep an eye on him anyway.... So—sorry or whatever.” It was the closest approximation to an apology they could expect from her.

Perfuma approached from behind, offering a flower crown. “I’m sorry for any misunderstanding,” she said, holding out the flower crown. Entrapta took it in hand, but didn’t put it on. “I want this trip to be peaceful and relaxing for everyone.” She cast a nervous glance at Hordak. “If he’s your...chosen companion, then I’m happy to host him.” The vines in the trees slithered and their leaves rustled. “I’m sure he’ll be a good guest,” she said, still smiling.

Hordak cocked his head, not sure how to interpret the leaves’ fluttering. Entrapta just smiled hesitantly. “Of course! I told you; he’s very well mannered.”

The princess of Plumeria cast him an odd look. “If you say so.”

The young queen sidled up to Entrapta from the other side, smiling. “We’re glad you’re here.” The archer made an encouraging gesture, as if urging her on. “And we...want to get to know Hordak better too. Now that we’re not fighting or arguing over a treaty.” She actually offered him a smile, making him raise a brow-ridge.

Entrapta smiled, looking at all of them. “Thanks, guys. I’m really glad you’re giving him a chance. It means a lot.”

A rope of hair reached out, settling the flower crown on his head. He looked up at it and readjusted it so it was seated more comfortably on his head, then offered the staring Etherians a nod. The She-Ra pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, like she was trying to hide her smile, while the queen gave him a considering look. Perfuma seemed somewhat put-out that her carefully crafted crown had been passed on to him, and Mermista looked like she’d swallowed something sour. He ignored the doe-eyed looks he was getting from the archer, Scorpia, and Sea Hawk.

On Entrapta’s other side, the She-Ra guided her toward the tables of tiny food and fizzy drinks. Entrapta squealed, and Hordak smiled subtly, watching as she examined everything on offer.

“So, you guys are sticking around then?”

He turned to Catra, who had settled at his side in a too-casual slouch. He turned back to watch Entrapta. “So it would seem.”

“Good.”

He glanced at her, ears twitching. “You were not really going to leave for Salineas if we left, were you?”

She looked at him, then ducked her head and crossed her arms. “After Adora said she’d come too, I couldn’t exactly back out, could I?”

“Ah.”

She kicked idly at the ground. “And, I’ve been thinking, it’s not really...fair, is it?” He gave her a look, waiting. She sighed, arms crossed. “The treaty. You’re doing a lot of work to repair the damage the Horde caused, but...it’s not like you did that all on your own.”

He shook his head. “It was done on my orders or, at least, with my approval. It is my responsibility to repair.”

She shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Yeah, okay, but....” She sighed. “Look, if you want help with anything, I can probably slip away for a few days. Or something.”

“I am certain you have your own duties,” he said, folding his hands behind his back.

She looked at the ground, rubbing the back of her neck. “Not exactly.”

Entrapta’s sudden appearance in front of him interrupted the conversation. “Hordak! Look!”

A data pad was shoved in his face. He reared back, trying to get a good look, but Entrapta only raised herself up on her hair and pressed closer. “Bow’s designing a telescope!”

He finally managed to catch hold of the data pad and hold it at a readable distance. Catra, apparently put off by their audience, slunk away without a word. He paid her no mind, instead focusing on the plans before him. Bow, behind Entrapta, stared at him with wide eyes, and his hands twitched a little—as if he wanted to take the data pad back. Hordak could imagine that Entrapta probably hadn’t thought to ask permission before handing it off to him.

Taking pity on the archer, Hordak passed it back to him. “This looks very promising.”

The archer held the data pad close to his chest. “Yeah. My dads have been interested in getting some accurate star charts, to compare to some First Ones’ writing that looks—"

Hordak grunted as Entrapta folded over his shoulders from behind—her hands rested lightly on his shoulders and her hair wrapped itself around his waist. Thankfully, she was supporting her own weight on several ropes of hair, so she’d merely surprised him and hadn’t accidentally aggravated his aching muscles. “Ooh! The First Ones were Starfarers! They must have star charts! Maps!”

“Exactly,” Bow said, smiling at her. “My dads think that having modern star charts to compare them to might reveal more about their culture and history.”

Hordak nodded, but his brow-ridges furrowed. “Hmm. They are likely correct, but you’ll need a star chart from their time period, not ours. The universe is constantly expanding; the stars will have changed since their time, if only subtly.”

Bow’s face fell. “Oh.”

Tilting his head to meet Entrapta’s gaze, Hordak said, “We could create a computer program to model that, I believe.”

Her eyes widened, and her grip on him briefly tightened before she used her hair to launch herself overtop him. An excited squeal escaped her, and her eyes nearly sparkled as she began rapidly talking about such a program’s requirements, the data they’d need to collect to create it, and the data they could extrapolate from it. Hordak smiled fondly, watching her hands flutter as she paced. He blinked when a petal landed on his cheek, realizing her acrobatics had knocked his flower crown askew. He adjusted it and brushed the petal away.

The archer smiled as well, looking pleased. When Entrapta began to wind down, Hordak met his eye. “Would your...fathers find that helpful?” He was familiar enough with the idea of family units—while children in the Etherian Horde were raised communally, most had a primary caregiver or two that sponsored their ascent through the ranks—but he was uncertain how such units operated in civilian life.

“Yeah, I think they would.”

He gave a brief nod. “I will assist you as time permits.”

Entrapta gave another little squeal. “Great! Let me go get my data pad.”

Hordak would have been happy to follow her back to the yurt, but Bow smiled and raised a hand. “And leave in the middle of your party?”

“Oh, right.” Entrapta rubbed the back of her neck, still grinning. “That would be rude, wouldn’t it?”

Hordak shook his head, looking down at her. “You locked me out of my data pad, yet you’re so eager to return to yours.”

“Locked....?” Bow looked between them.

Entrapta’s eyes went wide. “Oh, right! I was supposed to talk to you about that! There will be no working this week. You are officially taking a break.” She smiled broadly, looking pleased with herself.

He huffed, a small smile tucked into the corner of his mouth. “Starlight, though your concern is...endearing, I told you—it is not necessary.”

“Everyone needs time off sometimes! Even you!”

He sighed, ears pulling back. “We have discussed this. I do not require time off to maintain productivity.”

She continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “I know you haven’t taken any time off since you returned to Etheria, and I know you didn’t while we were working on the portal. So that’s several years at least. Actually—have you ever taken time to yourself?” she asked. Then held up a finger very pointedly. “And I don’t mean time off because you were sick or hurt. When was the last time you spent a few days away from whatever you were working on and just did something for the fun of it?”

He frowned. “I....” He huffed, not sure how to make her understand. “That is not....” He folded his hands behind his back, even as his ears pulled down. “Prime would have disapproved of such frivolity. Even while separated from him, I still served him. Any...undue delays would not have been acceptable.” He, carefully, did not think of Prime’s eyes boring into his. He silenced the echo of an accusation—( _ ~~There was even a time you wished I would not come for you)~~_ —and dug his claws into his palms, using the pain to focus on the present. “I would not have been able to justify it.”

Bow blinked. “Wait. Does that mean you’ve never...?”

He sighed, looking skyward. “No. But I do not need it, and even if I did, it still would not be appropriate. I am...pleased to be ‘kidnapped’.” He offered Entrapta a small nod before growing serious once more. “But that does not mean I can cease my work. Not entirely.” Surely, Entrapta would want to spend time with her friends on her own, without him. When she didn’t want him close at hand, then he would occupy himself with work.

Entrapta sighed, blowing an errant strand of hair out of her face. Her mouth rucked to the side as she considered the best way to approach the subject. Finally, hands together, she extended her index fingers and leveled them at him. “Hordak...Prime treated you and your brothers as if you were only valuable so long as you were useful. Do I understand that correctly?”

He instinctively shifted position, standing taller and straighter to better conceal the subtle pain that strained his shoulders. “Yes.”

The archer’s eyes widened, but Entrapta just nodded. “Is it possible that you’re insisting you don’t need a break because, by his standards, you would no longer be useful if you took one?”

“No!” he snapped, ears folding back. “Don’t be absurd.”

“Are you sure?”

He huffed, crossing his arms as he looked away. By Prime’s standards, he was already useless, but he wasn’t going to mention that in the archer’s presence. “I know that Prime was...” He swallowed. Why was this so difficult to admit? “Wrong. To...treat us as he did. I know that. However.” He folded his hands behind his back once again. “I, personally, caused more damage to this world than any of my brothers did individually. How can I work more diligently for Prime—knowing, now, that he did not deserve my devotion—than for a cause that is truly just? It would not be right to be less dedicated to reconstruction than I once was to reuniting with Prime.”

The archer made a strange sound, almost as if he were choking. “Whoa. Okay. Wait. Wait. That’s—you can’t—“ Bow exhaled hard, rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re not Prime. We don’t....” Hordak regarded him blankly, and Bow sighed, hands pressed together. He looked to Entrapta. “I don’t know how to explain this.”

A strand of hair patted his arm comfortingly. “It’s okay. Let me try.” She caught Hordak’s hands and said, “We agree that Prime placed unreasonable expectations on you and your brothers, right?”

He considered that, then offered a nod. “Yes.”

“Okay, great! Do you believe the peace treaty makes reasonable demands?”

“Yes. I would not have agreed to it if it were unreasonable.”

“Excellent! And the people of Etheria are, on the whole, rational, reasonable people?”

He huffed. “Not entirely rational, no, but most are reasonable, yes.”

“So, if Horde Prime demanded an unreasonable amount of devotion and dedication, but the treaty and its signatories are inherently reasonable—"

He cocked his head. “Then...it is unreasonable to hold myself to the same standards I did while under Prime’s command?”

She smiled, pumping his hands and rocking onto her toes. “You got it!”

Ears folded back, he shook his head. “That cannot be right.”

“Hordak, Prime didn’t treat you like a person. But you are! You’re allowed to take time for yourself and to do things for no reason except because you enjoy them!”

He swallowed, not able to meet her gaze—instead, he focused on a point somewhere past her left ear. “I enjoy my work,” he protested. It sounded weak even to his ears.

“But you’re more than just that. You’re allowed to have interests and hobbies outside your work.”

One ear twitched. “What is a ‘hobby’?”

The archer pressed his hands to his mouth and inhaled slowly. “Okay. This explains a few things. And we are definitely going to help you find some hobbies.”

This was becoming too much. Hordak shook his head. “I do not need a ‘hobby’, let alone multiple.”

“Hobbies aren’t something you need,” Bow said. “They’re for fun. That’s the point.”

Hordak huffed, crossing his arms. “I do not require ‘fun’—"

“Now you’re just being stubborn,” Entrapta said, earning a glare. She was right, of course, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it.

He growled softly. “Fine! I remain skeptical of your so called ‘hobbies’, but I will not attempt to work while we are at the festival.”

“You promise?”

He sighed. “Yes, Starlight. I promise. Now, I believe your friends are trying to get your attention.”

“They are?” She turned; the She-Ra and the young queen waved at her, motioning toward the tray of cupcakes. “Oh! Hi!” She waved back, and Mermista groaned aloud.

“You have to take a cupcake, Geek Princess.”

“Huh? Why?” Confused, Entrapta started wandering back over to them.

“It’s rude to pass out cake without the guest of honor,” Glimmer said. “You get the first piece. Or cupcake, I guess.”

“Ooh! Right. Forgot about that!” She caught Hordak’s hand in a rope of hair and pulled him along. He didn’t fight her, but he braced himself as they drew nearer, unsure how to navigate such an unusual social setting. Mermista groaned, but the archer remained at his elbow, smiling encouragingly. Scorpia and Sea Hawk soon joined him as well. Though he would not have admitted it—particularly not to Sea Hawk—it was nice to have allies close at hand.

Scorpia leaned close, though she was careful not to touch him. “Look,” she said, pointing to her own flower crown. “We match!”

He eyed the vivid red flowers, unsure how to respond. Finally, he said, “They suit you.” She beamed at him.

Sea Hawk sighed dramatically. “I wish I too had a clever, beautiful, fierce—" He pitched his voice to carry and cast a long look at Mermista. “—stunning, and generous woman to give me a flower crown.” Mermista sighed loudly.

Hordak cocked his head. “I imagine if you ask—"

“Shhh!” Sea Hawk shushed him. “It doesn’t count if I ask!”

Hordak eyed Scorpia, who shrugged. He huffed in response. “That is absurd.”

“It isn’t romantic if you have to ask,” Sea Hawk insisted.

Again, Scorpia offered a magnanimous shrug. “He’s not wrong,” she said.

Hordak shook his head, scowling. “Entrapta?”

She’d been oohing over the cupcakes and hadn’t heard their conversation. “Yes?”

“Is it less ‘romantic’ to ask for the things you want?”

“Ooh!” She grabbed two small cupcakes and brought them over, holding one out to him. “I don’t know—I guess it depends on what you consider romantic.”

He shifted uncomfortably, realizing that everyone had gathered in a loose circle with Entrapta at the center, their attention on her and Hordak. He tried to hide his discomfort, knowing full well he’d brought it on himself. “Explain,” he said stiffly.

Off to the side, Mermista snorted, and his ears drew back, the tips hot. “Well...” Entrapta dragged the word out, as was her habit. “I think it just depends on the person. Personally—" She drew herself up on her hair so she was nearly at eye level. “—I like it when people tell me what they want and how they’re feeling. I’ve never been good at figuring out what people want from me unless they tell me directly.”

He frowned. “I do not understand. How else are you to know?”

She shrugged. “No one else seems to have trouble understanding. Just me.” Her hair drooped and her eyes lowered as she said it.

He huffed. “This is not a Hivemind. You must use your words to communicate. Expecting anything else is ludicrous.”

She glanced at him, smiling as she held her hand out. “So you don’t think it’s unromantic? To have to ask if it’s okay to kiss someone?”

“I would consider it rude to do so without permission,” he said as he took her hand in his. She grinned at him and settled into a spot at his side.

Scorpia was giving them a strange look—eyes big and smile wide—even as she used one claw to restrain Sea Hawk and the other to keep him from speaking. Adora smiled gently, though Catra had wandered away from the group, turning her back on them. Glimmer and Perfuma looked alarmed and slightly uncomfortable, whereas Mermista refused to look at them at all. Bow’s expression mirrored Scorpia’s almost perfectly.

Their attention set him on edge, and he was tempted to withdraw from the group once more, but Entrapta’s gaze caught and held him. Her hand felt good in his, the material of her glove warm and smooth. His shoulders eased, and he remained at her side, despite the little twinge of unease. They were her friends; they would have to adjust to his presence and he to theirs.

Entrapta began licking the frosting from her cupcake, and she nudged him. “Are you going to eat that?”

“I.” He looked down at it, ears folding back. “Will try it later.” Eating while everyone was watching him seemed a step too far. Even if that meant he was left to awkwardly hold a tiny cupcake for the remainder of the ‘party’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All comments are treasured! I've been a bit slow in updated lately--life's been a bit busy for me--and I can't promise we'll return to my previous weekly updates, but I am alive and still writing! All your comments offer fodder and encouragement, and are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Thank you!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the day winds down, everyone starts to settle in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Kissing, discussion of sex but nothing explicit, internalized ableism, chronic pain, Sea Hawk. To avoid the kissing, please see the end notes.

The ‘party’ began to wind down as the sun set. Luminous insects emerged, announcing their presence with soft chirps. The Etherians retreated from the forest clearing, packing up the remaining food and refreshments as they returned to the circle of yurts. Attendants had already lit the bonfire at the center of the camp, and they passed out mugs of hot chocolate to each Princess as she took her seat. Entrapta eyed hers skeptically. “You wouldn’t happen to have any tiny cups, would you?”

The attendant hesitated. “With respect, er, Princess, but the cocoa would cool down rather quickly if we put it in a tiny mug. Are you sure...?”

Before she could reply, Scorpia raised a claw. “Oh!! I have tiny mugs! Let me go get them.” She dashed off, leaving the attendant looking flummoxed. More so when Entrapta handed the mug back to him and proceeded to take a seat at one of the logs encircling the campfire. 

“Um.” He eyed Hordak with trepidation, looking between him and the tray of mugs. “I.”

Hordak, still holding his tiny cupcake, gave him a blank look. “I will take mine with Princess Entrapta and Princess Scorpia, when she returns.” The attendant just nodded dumbly, watching as he took a seat beside Entrapta.

Scorpia returned a few minutes later with a small case. Grinning, she opened the case and produced a set of small mugs, as well as a thermos. While the attendant tried to fill the thermos from the full sized mugs—Hordak could not help but watch the man with some measure of pity as hot chocolate dripped down the side of the mug—Scorpia passed a tiny mug to Entrapta, keeping another for herself. The Plumerian Princess sat beside her, brows furrowed.

Scorpia offered her a tiny mug as well, but she shook her head, eyeing it skeptically. “Is that...from a child’s tea set?”

“I think they’re expresso cups,” Scorpia said.

“I see.” The Plumeria Princess still looked skeptical. The attendant, after successfully transferring the hot chocolate to the thermos, filled both Entrapta and Scorpia’s mugs. They thanked him, while Perfuma asked, “Doesn’t it get cold?”

Scorpia just shrugged, unbothered, but Entrapta nodded. “Yes, the heat disperses more rapidly with the smaller mug size, so it can be consumed much faster!”

The attendant stood beside Hordak, looking awkward. He was obviously eyeing the thermos and their mugs, calculating out how long he had before he’d need to return and refill them. Hordak held out his free hand. “I will attend them. You may resume your other duties.”

First, his eyes widened. He seemed reluctant to get too close, but in the end, gratitude overcame his reluctance. He passed the thermos to him and offered a hesitant “thank you” when Hordak took it. Hordak merely nodded in response. When Scorpia offered him a mug, he nearly refused, simply because his hands were too full, but Entrapta’s hair snatched up the thermos and the tiny cup at once. She filled it and pressed it into his hand, keeping the thermos.

The mug was comically small in his large hands, but he regarded it gravely, taking a delicate sip. He had never expressed a preference aloud, but Entrapta had deduced his fondness for hot chocolate long ago—she smiled at him now, touching her mug to his in a pleased toast. His mouth softened into a smile and his ears relaxed as he regarded her. “Thank you, Starlight.” Remembering their host all at once, he looked away from Entrapta and offered Perfuma a formal nod. “And you as well, Princess. Your hospitality is...appreciated.”

She looked between him and Entrapta, her expression inscrutable, but after a moment, she offered a hesitant smile. “Of course! I’m. Glad. You’re enjoying yourself.” Her words were stiff, but they seemed genuine. 

Around them, the others were settling in and pairing off. Adora and Catra sat beside each other, their knees and hips touching. The archer sat next to the young queen; they were angled toward one another, voices pitched so they wouldn’t carry. Sea Hawk made a show of draping his cloak over Mermista’s shoulders...only to be left shivering himself. She sighed heavily and pulled him close, throwing an arm over his shoulder so they could keep each other warm. Even Scorpia rested a claw on Perfuma’s knee, smiling when Perfuma caught her eye and laid her hand on her chela.

He had not realized the others in Entrapta’s friend group had pair-bonded. The tips of his ears felt a little warm, no doubt flushed from his sudden embarrassment. He glanced at her, not sure if she was aware of this information—and doubly unsure if there was something he was supposed to do with it—but she seemed unbothered. If anything, she seemed more preoccupied with him than with them. He swallowed and pitched his voice low to ask, “Do you need something?”

She grinned. “Nope!” She hadn’t lowered her voice, and now the others were looking at them again. “I’m just happy to be here.” She leaned against him, making a happy sound as she did. He swallowed back the urge to return her pleased trill, too conscious of the others’ eyes on them. Sea Hawk caught his gaze and raised his fist, thumb extended—which seemed both strange and unhelpful. 

He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. If they were alone, he’d have leaned into her and perhaps toyed with her hair, but here—now, in front of everyone—that seemed too intimate. Besides, his hands were full between the cupcake and the hot chocolate. So he sat still and stiff and awkward, waiting for the night to end. The muscles across his upper back and down his spine grew taut, the ache from earlier returning; the backless logs they used as seats hardly provided any support.

“So,” Mermista said, eyes narrowed as she regarded them. “You guys are pretty close, huh?”

The She-Ra leaned forward. “Mermista.” There was a warning in her tone.

“What? It’s just a question.”

The She-Ra sighed but didn’t dispute that. Oblivious of the tension, Sea Hawk grinned and agreed, “Yes. You two seem quite close!”  


His tone seem to insinuate something, causing Hordak to frown. “I do not understand your interest in our seating arrangements, but yes, we are actually close enough to touch,” he confirmed. Catra snorted, ducking her head, and Hordak’s ears pulled back. “Did I say something amusing, Catra?”

She waved him off. “Don’t worry about it; you wouldn’t get it anyway.” 

He sniffed, unamused, but Mermista snapped to get his attention. His ears drew back, and she glared in return. Before he could tell her that he did not appreciate such treatment, she said, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Hordak cocked his head, reviewing their conversation. When understanding struck, he lifted his chin. “Ah. I see. You mean to say that we have an emotional connection.”

Catra started to snicker, while Mermista continued to glare. “So?” she asked, clearly annoyed. “Do you?”

Hordak narrowed his eyes. “Is that not obvious? As I said, we are touching.” Catra was nearly doubled over at this point, but she kept a hand pressed to her mouth to silence her snickering. 

Mermista groaned. “Can you just answer the question?”

His ears pulled back. “I did—!”

“Are you friends? Or—what?”

He huffed, lifting his chin and offering a stiff nod. Some of the others around the fire leaned in, watching him carefully. “We are friends.” He glanced at Entrapta, who gave him a warm look. His expression softened immediately, despite his irritation with Mermista. 

She grinned and turned back to the others. “We’re partners.” Catra was no longer laughing, and Sea Hawk appeared to be bouncing in his seat.

Hordak nodded. “Yes, of course. We are lab partners.” 

Bow blinked. Beside him, the young queen said, “Lab...partners?”

Hordak lifted his chin and said stiffly, “I understand it may be difficult to accept, but I assure you, we are both friends and lab partners.” He looked to Entrapta. “Our time together before Prime’s arrival was...enlightening. In many ways.”

She smiled and looped her arm through his. Mermista snorted and crossed her arms. Under her breath, she muttered something, but before he could question her, Sea Hawk rose and struck a dramatic pose. “Our time together too has been enlightening!” 

Hordak’s ears drew back. “What?” 

Beside him, Mermista groaned and covered her eyes. Sea Hawk pointed at him, oblivious to her discomfort. “Once, I thought you a heartless monster.” 

Hordak huffed. “That’s absurd. I have _two_ hearts—“

Sea Hawk continued, spreading his arms wide. “Now, I see that I was wrong! Beneath your cool facade, you are a warrior, yes, but also a poet—a lover, even!”

Hordak shifted, glancing at Entrapta to try to gauge her reaction so he could calibrate his own. She seemed confused, which relieved himsomewhat; he was confused as well. “What?” he asked again. 

Sea Hawk, still oblivious, offered a jaunty bow, grinning. “In any case, former-Horde Lord, it is an honor to count you as a friend!”

Hordak’s ears were folded back, as were Catra’s. Mermista looked annoyed or angry, and Glimmer and Perfuma were as confused as he was. Meanwhile, Adora, Scorpia, and Bow seemed pleased, and somewhat amused. 

Hordak had no idea how to respond, and a response did seem necessary. Though Sea Hawk was frequently bothersome—one might even call him ‘obnoxious’—Hordak could detect no true malice in him, and as a result, he had no real desire to harm him—emotionally or otherwise. So, after a moment of thought, he bowed his head and said, “My thanks. I too am...surprised that our association has proven...beneficial.”

Sea Hawk beamed, then his smile grew sly. “You realize what this means, don’t you?”

Hordak, recognizing that look, sighed. “I do not, but I’m sure you will—“

“You have to join us for boy’s night!” he declared. 

The archer grinned, nodding. “Yeah! That would be great!” 

Hordak cocked his head. “What?” 

“Don’t worry, my friend; you’ll have fun. I guarantee it.”

He huffed, but Entrapta grinned, apparently pleased that some of her friends wanted to spend time with him as well. “That’s a great idea!”

“Yeah,” Adora added, “and while they’re out, we can have a girl’s night! It’ll be great!”

“Ooh, is that like a sleepover?” Entrapta asked. Adora hesitated, glancing at Glimmer, who confirmed that it was very similar to a sleepover, but for adults. Entrapta grinned, her hands fluttering as she grew excited. “I’ve never been to a sleepover,” she said.

“Really?” the queen asked.

Entrapta shrugged and, hair toying with her mask, said, “I didn’t really have any friends to have a sleepover with. I mean—I had my robots, but it’s not really the same.” 

If Hordak had been hesitant to participate before, he was determined to do so now. “Sea Hawk. Bow.” The turned to him. “I would be happy to participate in this...’boy’s night’, provided the women are occupied with their ‘girl’s night’.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mermista muttered, but she was drowned out by Entrapta and Sea Hawk’s simultaneous exclamations:

“Really?!”

He blinked, looking between the two of them. “Yes,” he said slowly, “Though, not tonight. If you don’t mind, I will be retiring now, Starlight.”

She blinked. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” He ignored the way the muscles that stretched across his shoulders ached. “I’m only a little tired.” And she probably wanted some time to catch up with her friends without him around to intrude.

“Oh.” She nodded. “We did travel a lot today.” As if spurred on by the reminder, she yawned. “Actually, I’ll join you, if that’s okay.” 

“I assumed....” He cleared his throat, eyeing their audience. “Certainly. If that is what you prefer.” She smiled, quickly refilling their tiny hot chocolate mugs before following him back to their shared yurt. He ignored the sensation of being watched as they retreated. 

Once they were safely inside, she snatched the cupcake and the mug of hot chocolate from his hands. A rope of her hair set them on an end table, then she promptly wrapped her arms and hair around him. “Thank you,” she said, leaning against his chest.

He cocked his head. “I did nothing.”

She just smiled, looking up at him without pulling away. “I know you don’t think you did anything, and I’ll be more specific if you want, but you helped a lot just by being there. With me.”

His ears twitched and his eyes widened a bit. “Oh.”

“Do you want me to try to explain in more detail?”

“No,” he said. “I...I believe I am familiar with that phenomenon. I have found your presence has similar results.” He cleared his throat, adding. “Though I admit to some surprise that you experience it as well.”

She rested her head on his chest, shutting her eyes with a little sigh. “I like them,” she said quietly, “They’re my friends. But being around them isn’t always easy, like it is with you.”

He blinked, then lowered his head in an abbreviated nod. “I believe I understand.”

For a while, they simply stood there in silence, holding each other. She was warm and solid against him, and he was loathe to let go of her, but the strain in his back and shoulders was only growing stronger. Withholding a wince, he pulled away. “Forgive me, Starlight, but I really would like to go to bed now.”

“That’s not a euphemism, right?”

He cocked his head. “For what?”

“Sex.” He choked a little, surprised. She shrugged. “People don’t always say what they want when it comes to sex, so they often use euphemisms or innuendo for others to intuit their desires.”

“Why would—? What’s the purpose of that? Is not it confusing?”

“I think it’s confusing, but no one else seems to have the same problem. As for the purpose....” She shrugged again. “I think it’s meant to be less embarrassing.”

He considered that. “Ah.” He lowered his head. “I believe I understand that. However—“ He held a hand out for her to take. She wrapped her fingers around his. “—with you, I do not feel the need to obfuscate my...desires. I will be direct, if not blunt.”

She smiled, rising up on her hair. “Thanks. I’ll do the same.” Her hair stroked over his cheek, cupping his jaw. “I would like to kiss you now,” she said. “If that’s okay.”

He swallowed, feeling the tips of his ears heat up as he blushed. “I. I believe I would enjoy that.”

She drew closer, brushing her lips against his. One hand cupped his jaw, while the other rested just beneath his ear. Her fingers skated upward, running over the outer shell. The tip twitched at the subtle stimulation, and his scalp tingled as his hair flexed. “Entrapta,” he murmured against her mouth. She took this for encouragement and brought the other hand to his ear, her fingers tracing the points of both. 

His hands, resting innocently on her waist, began to stray when she deepened the kiss. He thrummed softly, one hand pressing against her lumbar spine to bring her closer. The other he lifted up toward her face—

Pain shot down his arm, radiating from his shoulder. It was sharp but fleeting, leaving only a faint ache behind. He couldn’t hide his hiss, though, and Entrapta pulled away immediately. “Did I do something wrong?” she asked. Her hair coiled into tight, anxious spirals as she searched him for visible injuries.

He stepped back, hands clenching closed. He couldn’t even share a kiss without his broken body ruining it. Features drawn into a scowl, he turned from her. “No. You did nothing.” 

“Are you sure? What happened?”

“You need not concern yourself—“

“Hordak!”

A rope of hair reached for him but only hovered over his shoulder; obviously, Entrapta didn’t want to risk harming him further. He turned his head, but not his body, ignoring the way the move pulled at his spine. She bit her lip, and her hair frizzed with worry. A slow exhalation escaped him, and he took the rope of hair in hand, allowing it to play through his fingers. “You did nothing, Starlight. It was me. My defect.”

She drew closer. “I hurt you.”

He huffed. Bitterly, he said, “No. It would hurt regardless. You have done nothing specifically to aggravate it.”

“Oh. So...has it been bad all day?”

He looked away, folding his arms behind his back. “It has been bothering me periodically, but I have experienced worse. It is noticeable but not crippling.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“It was manageable. I saw no reason to call attention to it.”

“But...” She stepped closer. “There must be something we can do.”

He sighed. “I am open to your suggestions. I’ve already taken the safe dosage of my medication for the day. Taking more would not be advisable.”

Her gaze darted to their bags, and for a moment, he was worried she would insist he try the new implants she’d designed. Instead, she brought her welding mask down and began digging around in her trunk. “Can you take off your armor? Or do you need help?”

He eyed the thin walls of the yurt. “I would rather keep it on.”

She turned, raising the mask. “Huh?”

He huffed, gesturing to the thin hide. “This is hardly a secure location.”

“Oh, right! Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving away his worries as she brought the mask back down to resume her search. “I’ve got the privacy issue covered.”

He cocked his head, eyeing her. His claws toyed with the crystal as he considered his options. After a few moments of uncertainty, he popped the crystal out and began removing his armor piece by piece.

He had no idea what Entrapta had planned, but he trusted she would not compromise his comfort or security. “As you wish, Starlight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...we’re still holding onto that cupcake, I guess.
> 
> To avoid the kissing scene, please skip or skim the paragraph starting with “She drew him closer...” and the following paragraph as well. Everything after that is SFW.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the care and feeding of spacebats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Disordered eating, internalized ableism, shame, Hordak not being nice to himself, chronic pain, disability, gentle femdom in a nonsexual context.

Hordak, sitting on the bed as Entrapta had directed, watched as she hoisted herself up to the peak of the yurt’s interior, where the supports met. Muttering to herself, she began affixing a metal star to the beam. “Do you require assistance?”

“No!” she said around the hexdriver clenched between her teeth. “I go’ it!”

He made a soft sound in response, not quite a sigh. “I am here, if that changes.”

Spider-like, she used her hair to crawl along one beam, installing rods as she went. Once she reached the end of the beam, she dropped to the ground with a neat, mid-air somersault. She installed two more rods on the side of the yurt, affixing them to the support. Dusting off her hands, she pressed a prominent button on the face of the most easily accessible rod and stepped back.

Bright bands of purple light flared from each rod and the star above, encircling the room. After a momentary flash, the light faded outside the visible spectrum, but Hordak could hear the subtle hum of working electronics. Entrapta twirled, hair wrapping her. “Is it...?”

“It’s a modification of the privacy barrier you constructed! It doesn’t just secure the normal means of entry like doors and windows; it secures everything! And it molds itself to the room’s dimensions—so long as you maintain optimal distance between the conduits—which means it’s perfect for unconventional structures or temporary housing. And....” She wiggled her eyebrows. “It’s soundproof.”

His eyes widened. Then he smirked. “You are brilliant.”

She waved him off. “I told you—it’s just a modification of the tech you designed.”

“You are brilliant nonetheless.”

She smiled, using her hair to walk toward him. Looming over him, she cupped his face. “We’re both brilliant.” He started to shake his head on reflex, but she held him still. “We are both brilliant,” she insisted. His mouth quirked subtly.

“If you insist.” He cleared his throat. “Thank you, Starlight. I am more...at ease, now.”

She beamed. “Good.” With that, she turned away and began digging through their bags again. He watched her, head slightly cocked and features relaxed into a subtle smile. “Ah-ha!” She leapt up, holding a small, pink jar aloft. “Found it!” He did not need to ask what it was—he recognized the jar of salve Entrapta had sent him. 

She returned to the bed, her hair gently encouraging him to settle in the center of the mattress, rather than linger on the edge. “You’ve tested this?” she asked.

“Yes. On my wrist. I observed no ill effects, only a subtle tingling. Is that intentional?”

“It is. Have you applied it elsewhere?” He shook his head. Her mouth quirked to the side. She straddled his thighs, looming over him as he pressed his back against the pillows. “Hordak, I sent it to you to help manage your pain. It’s not going to do you any good if you don’t use it!”

He swallowed, mouth dry. His hearts fluttered, and something deep inside him seemed to twist, roused by her proximity. And, he realized, her forcefulness. “No,” he murmured, trying to steady his breathing. “I suppose not.”

She shook her head, but she was still smiling. “Well, I suppose I’ll just be grateful that I can catalog your reactions firsthand. Oh! Do you mind if I record this?”

“Audio only. No visual components.”

She huffed a little, but agreed. “Okay. I’m going to turn you over.”

“You’re—?”

Her hair lifted them both—she drew back while he was drawn up, her hair supporting his limbs and spine so no one body part had any undue pressure on it. It eased him back down, setting him on his stomach. A pillow rested just under his neck and chest, so he was propped up at a subtle angle. One arm folded naturally in front of him, but the other he left by his side, feeling the muscle pulling uncomfortably whenever he tried to raise it. “How’s that?”

He took stock of himself, cataloguing the tension in his muscles, the ache in his spine. “This position is not aggravating my pain.”

“Excellent. I’m going to apply this salve to your deltoid, working outward toward your spine. You will tell me if I hurt you.”

He dismissed her concerns. “Of course.” 

“Hordak.” He glanced back at her. “You will tell me if I hurt you,” she said more forcefully. He swallowed, feeling that subtle squirming in his abdomen again.

“Yes,” he affirmed. “I will. Tell you.” Her smile was brilliant, and something inside him clenched.

“Great!” She settled on his gluteals, and his hair lifted. He hurriedly pressed it down, hoping she hadn’t noticed. His nerves tingled pleasantly all the way down his neck to his thoracic vertebrae. He swallowed, laying his chin on his arm. “Sorry. My hands tend to run a little cold,” she said. The hair on the back of his neck prickled as she spread a cool salve over his exposed skin. “How’s that feel?”

“Fi—“ The salve, spread in a thin layer over his shoulder muscle, caused his skin to tingle. The scent of peppermint wafted from it, just on the right side of overwhelming. “Fine.” He cleared his throat. “It feels...fine.”

“Just fine? Hmmm.” She muttered to herself, then she began to knead the muscle with her thumbs. He arched his back, a low moan escaping him as he gripped the pillow. “Was that a good sound? Or a bad sound?”

He blinked, trying to find an answer for her. No one had ever touched him like this. It was an entirely new experience, and it took him a moment to recover himself. “Good,” he said, trying to control his breathing. “I...I believe.”

“Does it hurt?”

“I...” He swallowed. “Yes? But...not in a bad way. It is...pleasant.” It was similar to the ache he sometimes felt during his exercises; it hurt, yes, but in a way he knew would lessen the pain later. 

“Yeah? You’re sure?”

“Yes. Please, continue.”

He could nearly sense her smiling. “Okay.” Her thumbs pressed into the muscle again, and he bowed his head forward, silent now that he was prepared for the sensation. The friction from her fingers caused the salve to warm up, and soon, the whole of his deltoid felt hot under her hands. She lifted her hand and studied it, taking a little of the salve and spreading it on the underside of her forearm. “Ooh. Fascinating!” Aloud, she noted her observations before prodding him to share his for the recording as well.

He indulged her, though as she began to work on the other side, it was becoming harder and harder to focus. When she’d begun her ministrations, he’d been afraid that his reactions would be...inappropriate; the squirming in his abdomen had become a familiar (and not wholly welcome) signal. He was grateful, now, that his body had begun to settle into a kind of torpor instead. His taut muscles relaxed under her hands; he felt practically boneless. 

Her hands skated around his ports, careful not to get any of the salve inside, and ran smoothly up his sides. He arched into her hands, a low, thrumming purr already vibrating his chest. “Hordak? Can I pull the top of your dress down? Or reach under it?”

Feeling too good to remember to be self-conscious, he nodded. He squirmed out of the top of his dress and pulled it to the side, leading his torso through one of the large holes cut in the side so the top pooled around his hips. Again, careful not to disturb his ports, she followed the column of his spine with her fingers, massaging the corded muscles that ran alongside. Heat spread outward from her fingers, spurred by the salve. His pain was not gone—not entirely—but it was being effectively masked by the warmth and tingling of the salve. 

“How’s that?” she asked, voice right behind his ear.

Feeling as if he was half-melted into the mattress, he murmured, “You’re too good to me.”

She tweaked his ear, provoking a hiss. It didn’t hurt—not exactly—but it was unpleasant and unexpected. Before he could demand an explanation, she smoothed away the subtle sting with a kiss. He shivered, swallowing hard as she told him, “I’m not too good to you. You just need to be nicer to yourself.”

He resettled himself on the pillow, a strange feeling bubbling up in his chest. “Entrapta?”

“Yes?”

“I—“ The words caught in his throat. He cleared it before trying again. “I...appreciate your efforts to assist me.” She shifted, using her hair to fold over him without putting any pressure on his aching body, her gaze flickering from his forehead to his mouth. “If...” Unwittingly, his gaze fell to her mouth as well, noting the graceful arc of her lower lip, the gentle ‘u’ of the upper lip’s bow. He swallowed, nervous and yet strangely excited as well, then met her gaze again. Her eyes were hooded; her pupils, blown. “You know I would do anything for you.”

“Would you?” she asked.

He nodded, features setting into something grim and determined. “I would build monuments to your beauty and brilliance.”

She giggled. “That’s sweet, but what would I do with a monument? Oh! Does it dispense tiny snacks? Or fizzy drinks? Both?”

He smiled. “If you like. I told you, Starlight—anything.”

“Anything?” She leaned closer. 

“Name it,” he said. “It is all but yours already.”

The tiny cupcake he’d been carrying around for much of the day appeared between them, supported by a thin rope of hair. He frowned at it, while she rearranged herself again; she settled in front of him, sitting cross-legged. He sat up as well, legs folded under him. The cupcake followed as he moved, remaining equidistant from his mouth. “I noticed you didn’t eat your cupcake. Why?”

He looked between her and the cupcake. “I...what?”

Her smile was soft and patient as she twirled her hair around her fingers. “You didn’t eat your cupcake. Or anything all day. I want to know why. And, if you’re amenable, I want you to eat the cupcake and provide your opinion of it for my notes.”

“Ah. I. See.” Delicately, he took the cupcake between his claws. He huffed. “I admit I am...disappointed that you would ask for something so...unimportant.”

She shrugged. “It’s not unimportant to me.”

A faint blush colored his cheeks. He coughed, turning his head to the side. “I. See.” He took a breath, then eyed the cupcake as if it were an enemy soldier. “I am unfamiliar with this food item. How is it consumed?”

“However you prefer! Some people like to take a bite of cake and frosting. I sometimes like to lick the frosting off first and eat the two components separately.”

“I see.” He eyed the cupcake for a moment, then raised it to his mouth and delicately licked a bit of the frosting from the top. He blinked, frowning. “That is...very sweet.”

Entrapta loomed closer. “Do you like it?”

“Hmmm.” He took another delicate lick, still frowning.

“Perhaps you should try taking a bite of both the cake and the frosting together.”

“Hmmm.” He eyed her, very conscious of her scrutiny. 

“You just put it in your mouth and bite down.”

He growled. “I understand the mechanics! I am simply...unaccustomed to being observed.”

“I’ve seen you eat before. Wait.” She pulled back. “I have seen you eat before, right?”

“You have been present while I drank my nutrient slurry.”

She eyed him critically. “Hordak, you can eat solid food, correct?”

A hot, embarrassed flush colored his cheeks, spreading to the tips of his ears. He growled again, crest lifting. “Yes, I can eat solid food! I am not an infant.” He huffed, ears flicking when she smoothed down his crest. “Do not—!” He batted her hand away, while she giggled, but her smile was gentle and patient. Leaning back against the pillows, he chose his words carefully. “I am unaccustomed to eating in the presence of another. It seems...vulgar.”

“Vulgar?”

He huffed, looking away as his ears folded down. “There was an understanding within the galactic Horde that such bodily necessities were...private. An artifact of...lesser beings.” He flinched a little, adding, “I know this is not true. I understand that it is not...shameful to be dependent on food, water, and rest. Or.” He huffed. “A...mobility aid. However, the shame lingers, regardless of—“ 

Her arms were suddenly around him, and she buried her face against his chest. A soft “oof” escaped him at the impact, and he blinked in surprise before his arms wrapped her loosely. “Starlight?”

She squeezed him, the pressure just on the right side of painful. “I’m glad he’s gone. I hope he suffered when you dropped him, and I hope it hurt when She-Ra banished him. If I could kill him for you all over again, I would.” She exhaled shakily. “I’m not normally inclined toward violence, but I would make an exception for Prime, given the chance.”

He blinked, then his features softened as he slowly relaxed into her hold. “I would not ask that of you.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t need to—it would be my pleasure!”

Her reply surprised a low, hoarse chuckle from him. He ran his claws over her scalp, gently stimulating it. “I see. I am...” He considered his feelings. “Flattered.” 

“You still haven’t eaten your cupcake,” she murmured into his chest. “Would it be easier if I wasn’t watching?”

“Perhaps.” He sighed, closing his eyes. “Would you mind...” He cleared his throat. “...remaining like this? For a moment?”

“We can stay like this as long as you like.”

He sighed contentedly, running his claws through her hair. “Thank you, Starlight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t think we’re going to actually see him eat the cupcake, but I hope this is a satisfying wrap to the cupcake subplot.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A promising start to the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Chronic pain, chronic illness, frustration with chronic pain, internalized ableism (lighter this chapter, but there are elements of it here), kissing, passionate kissing, discussion of plans for their next intimacy log.

Hordak woke before Entrapta. She was resting peacefully an arm’s length away, hair curled around them both. It was oddly tempting to remain in place and toy with the strands of hair that gripped him, but he forced himself upright, wincing as he did. Yesterday’s travel left a lingering ache in his bones. The armor would help, and he had painkillers as well, but before he put on the former, he needed to perform his exercises. 

He extracted himself from the bed carefully, not wanting to wake Entrapta, then slipped into his dress and a fresh loincloth. He lifted his arms, hating the way his triceps strained. He held them up, counting his breaths, then lowered them slowly before doing the same motion again. He progressed through his exercises, moving on to some of the more difficult poses, always counting his breaths and checking his form. 

A part of him wondered why he bothered with this farce. He’d once hoped that, if he could prove his worth despite the defect, Prime would take him back. Now, he could see that he’d been foolish to think such a thing and more foolish still to hope for it. Yet it left him wondering why he bothered with the arduous, sometimes painful, exercises. It was easy enough to go through the motions when he didn’t consider his motives, but now....

He paused, sweat dripping down his temples. He could feel his hearts beating—one faster than usual, the other plodding at its same steady beat. The desynchronized beating was distracting, irritating, and his hands clenched closed as he exhaled slowly through his nose.

“Hordak?”

He looked over his shoulder. A soft smile touched his mouth when he saw her sleep-mussed hair. “Starlight.”

She raised her arms, yawning. “Are you okay?” she asked around the yawn distorting her words. 

A soft chirp escaped him, and he blushed. Clearing his throat to hide the unwanted sound, he said, “Yes. I am. Fine.”

“Do you mean you’re really fine? Or not really fine, but you’re going to say you’re fine so I don’t fuss?”

He huffed. “I am fine,” he reiterated.

Her mouth pursed, and she clambered out of bed, hair shaking itself into sleek tails as she tumbled free. 

“Then why are you all sweaty?

“I am just—“ He growled softly. “I am doing my exercises. That is all.”

“Oh. Can I watch?”

He blinked, then tossed up his hands. “Do as you wish.”

“Hey.” A rope of hair wrapped his bicep while he turned away. “Are you upset?”

“I am not upset!” he snapped, then exhaled slowly through his nose. He pinched the bridge of his nasal ridge between his fingers and sighed. “Perhaps,” he said slowly, “I am...somewhat perturbed.”

The concerned crease between her brows deepened. “Did I do something?”

“No. You did nothing. I am just...frustrated.”

A strand of hair extracted her recorder from somewhere and turned it on with a click. “Can you elaborate?”

His ears twitched, the tips drooping. “Not for your records. Not this time.” 

“Oh.” She turned it off. “Then...just for me?”

He looked away, fingers twitching as he considered. Finally, he said, “My defect is...manageable. In no small part due to your discoveries. Nevertheless, it is...aggravating, at times. The extra effort is tedious and....”

He paused for too long. “Does it hurt?” she asked.

He sighed in response. “I am not complaining,” he said, a subtle growl in his voice. “I am just....” He huffed, finding it difficult to articulate his feelings. “Frustrated.”

It was not a complete picture—knowing how she would respond, he did not want to confess that he sometimes found it difficult to take care of himself simply for the sake of it, rather than in service to a higher cause—but it was enough.

“I’m sorry.” 

He quirked a brow ridge. “You’ve done nothing but assist me. Why are you apologizing?”

She shrugged, hair coiling into tight curls. “Because it’s not enough. I want to help, but I don’t know what else to do. The armor is an imperfect solution, and you don’t like the plugs. I’m just not sure what else....” Her brows furrowed as she trailed off, and her eyes focused on something in the middle distance. Her lips moved, but she made no sound. 

Gently, he touched her chin, encouraging her to look up at him. She blinked and came back to him. “Starlight, it is enough. You have done more for me than anyone. Without your devices, I’m afraid my defect would have become unmanageable, and....” He cleared his throat and folded his hands behind his back, looking down. “Without your support, I would be less motivated to continue managing it.” His ears twitched. 

“Oh. Well. I’m still sorry you’re hurting—“

He huffed dismissively and shifted into the next series of postures—forward knee bent, legs apart, and arms extended over his knee, palms together. “I do not accept your apology.”

“What?”

“Your apology has been rejected.” He drew one arm back, as if drawing back a bowstring. 

“You can’t—“ She giggled. “Hordak, you can’t reject my apology.”

“I can. You have nothing to apologize for, and so it is unnecessary.” Shaking her head, she eyed his stance, then settled into position beside him, copying his movements. “What are you doing?”

“Oh! Do you mind? I’d like to join you.”

He blinked, wobbling a little when his focus wavered. “I.” His ears twitched. “I believe I would enjoy that.”

She beamed, and his hearts beat hard. Clearing his throat, he studied her posture and told her to adjust it slightly before proceeding through the sequence. 

It was only when they finished the last pose that he realized that it was much easier to remain motivated with a friend at his side. He said nothing, but did not protest when Entrapta asked to help him put on his armor. She checked each piece over, making verbal notes as she did. When she was finished, he cleared his throat and felt the heat rise to his cheeks. “Starlight, I....” He straightened his posture and folded his hands behind his back, rocking on his toes. “I would like to kiss you, if you would permit me.”

She beamed at him. “Of course!” She lifted herself up on her hair so they were of equal height. He leaned close, clawed fingers feathering over her jaw. She giggled a little and leaned into his open palm. Her eyes met his, the lids heavy. His hearts swelled and he brought his mouth to hers. Her body pressed into his; they fit together like puzzle pieces. His hand found her hip and squeezed the meat of her thigh. She shifted in his grip, legs parting to settle on his waist. With his armor on, and her hair to stabilize them, it was no trouble to hold her up. One arm slipped under her gluteals, hand cupping the outside of her thigh. The other hand wrapped around the back of her neck, while her lips parted to invite further exploration. 

Remembering where they were, he drew back to rest his forehead against hers. His fingers feathered over the back of her neck, appreciating the smooth, unbroken—unaltered—skin. “Your friends,” he said, when she started to squirm. “They are waiting.”

“Oh, right.” She kissed him again, right on the corner of his mouth. “Hordak...would you...?”

He blinked. “What do you want, Starlight? Name it.” He tried to disguise his eagerness. He wanted to repay her for all that she had done, though he knew that would not be possible. 

She smiled. “Remember I suggested that I share some of my autonomic responses to pleasurable stimuli for our next log?”

He blinked, caught of guard. “I...yes.”

“Well....” She dragged out the word. “I was thinking we might try that tonight. If you want.”

His ears folded back as his mind raced. “Your friends—“

“Can’t hear anything! I tested and re-tested the soundproofing, and I was able to verify that it will be more than adequate for our needs!” He gave her a skeptical look. “Promise,” she said, “We could set off a bomb in here, and they wouldn’t hear anything. Literally. I mean, I tested it with an actual bomb and—nothing!” She smiled, wiggling her brows. “So....? Are you, um, interested?” Her smile lost some of its eagerness, as her hair curled into anxious spirals. 

He smoothed the curls away, gently returning her to the ground. “Yes. I am...interested.” The subtle fluttering in his lower belly made him realize he wasn’t just saying so to appease her. Something in him truly was intrigued. He offered a hesitant smile. “Now, shall we join your friends?”

She caught his hand instead of replying verbally, pulling him outside. His small smile grew fractionally as he eyed the point of contact. He squeezed her hand, holding tight. 

Outside their yurt, she began to babble, talking about Kadroh and how hard he tried to be a good lab partner but it just wasn’t the same—she was proud of him for pursuing his own interests, though, and did Hordak get his artwork? Kadroh was hesitant to share, but she’d insisted—

Without thinking about it, he laughed quietly, stopping her ramble. “Hordak?” she asked, turning. Her face fell. “Oh. I was rambling again, wasn’t I? I’m sorry—“

He pulled her close, cupping her jaw. “You keep apologizing for things that do not require forgiveness.” 

“I just. I know I talk too much.” She looked away, and his eyes narrowed. 

He leaned down. “I will eviscerate anyone who told you that. Simply point them out.”

She glanced at him, smile returning. “You don’t mind?”

“Starlight, I could listen to you for hours.”

“Really?”

“I would never lie to you.”

With a grin, she kissed him on the cheek and resumed her babbling. His features relaxed into a gentle smile....

Until he realized that they were no longer alone. At once, his expression smoothed into blank indifference. However, he could not bear to reclaim his hand, despite the watchful eyes fixed on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have any chronic pain—the worst I’ve got is an iffy knee that I occasionally have to baby so it doesn’t get any worse—and I’m mostly relying on the canon and certain family members’ experiences for inspiration here. Please, if there’s something in this chapter that you believe to be offensive or ableist or otherwise unpalatable, please let me know.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> (Also, thank you for your comments. I don’t usually reply, but I read them avidly and appreciate every one I receive. Thank you so much for reading.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have been blessed with art, so please go take a look:
> 
> @nmzuka on Tumblr has recreated scenes from [Ch. 1](https://nmzuka.tumblr.com/post/621370900435058688/i-did-some-quick-doodles-based-on-spacebatisluvd), [Ch. 9.](https://nmzuka.tumblr.com/post/621997197488259072/so-if-youre-not-reading-intimacy-log-you-should?is_highlighted_post=1), and [Ch. 14](https://nmzuka.tumblr.com/post/623944547731456000/hey-if-you-arent-reading-intimacy-log-like-you).  
> There is also stunning work by @ladybinary [ inspired by Ch. 3](https://ladybinary.tumblr.com/post/621655184944332800/fall-apart)
> 
> Please see this piece by @dae-stuff [inspired by Hordak's gift to Entrapta.](https://dae-stuff.tumblr.com/post/623002236732178432/show-chapter-archive)
> 
> (I'll try to add art as we go, but I'd like to get in touch with the artists before linking them directly, and I'm kind of shy about talking to people. So you can also find art on my Tumblr [@spacebatisluvd](https://spacebatisluvd.tumblr.com/tagged/intimacy-log-art) using the #intimacy log art.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Crushed Ice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27543400) by [ProtectWeirdBlackGirls (GettingOverShame)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingOverShame/pseuds/ProtectWeirdBlackGirls)




End file.
